WWE Raw Wrapup - 3/12/2012

Monday Night Raw – March 12^th, 2012

 

WWE was consistently counting down to Wrestlemania for a couple weeks straight; like so many things, that’s gone to the wayside.  By my count, we’re 18 days out.  Rock and Cena are scheduled to turn up the heat on one another via musical promo.  The rest of the Wrestlemania cast will have their parts in the show, but the bookends will be the non-title main event participants.

The show cold opens with credits and Jerry Lawler in the ring to introduce John Cena, out to cut his rap promo on The Rock.  Cena comes out in a classic Cavs jersey, backwards hat and chain around the neck – the old Thuganomics look.  He has a very stern face on as well; no silly smiling from him tonight and this is entirely a good thing.  Short of transcribing the rap itself, I’ll leave it said that, even as someone who didn’t particularly enjoy Cena in his rapper days, this was far more entertaining than anything to come out of his mouth in a long time.  Link to the rap can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_dpK88vSAY

As Cena wraps up, Vickie Guerrero comes out to explain that Daylight Savings should be illegal, since it robs the world of one hour of Dolph Ziggler.  For once, I kind of agree with WWE’s resident cougar.

Match 1 – Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus

Ziggler starts out with a bit of wrestling around Sheamus and playing to the crowd.  He sneaks behind and gives Sheamus a forearm to the back, and Sheamus answers by leveling Ziggler with a shoulder block.  Sheamus lands hard headlock takeovers, and leads to Ziggler strung up in the ropes for Sheamus’ signature forearms, but Ziggler scampers off the apron to escape and we head into a commercial.  As the feed comes back in, Sheamus lands a hard clothesline and ties on an armbar.  Ziggler fights out and attempts a hip toss, but Sheamus blocks and counters, hip tossing Ziggler over the top rope to the floor.  Ziggler slides under the ring and Vickie runs interference, allowing Ziggler to come out on another side and dropkick Sheamus in the back.  Back into the ring, Ziggler takes control and lands a neckbreaker for two.  Ziggler settles into a chinlock and we cut up to a skybox with Bryan and AJ, along with Josh Matthews.  Matthews probes the couple, asking AJ if Bryan was rude on Smackdown, telling her to “shut up”, which she sheepishly says wasn’t rude.  Bryan takes offense to the line of questioning and explains that “AJ loves me…and the feeling is mutual”.  This was line of the night.  Smarmy, egotistical heel taking a young girl’s love for granted.  Back in the ring (great communication from production to refs, I can only assume), Sheamus powers up to his feet and drops Ziggler on his back to escape the chin lock.  Sheamus goes into rage mode, hitting his axe handles and a clothesline, followed by a powerslam for two.  He sets up for the Celtic Cross, but Ziggler shimmies out, but eats a flapjack for a two count.  Ziggler sneaks to the apron, drops Sheamus’ throat across the top rope and attempts to jump off the top, but gets caught.  Ziggler counters into a crucifix pin, but Sheamus stands straight up, presumably for the White Noise, but the positioning was awkward, so he tosses Ziggler down to the mat.  Ziggler hits a Fameasser for two, and Sheamus lands a Brough Kick out of nowhere for the win.

Winner: Sheamus via Pinfall

Excellent match, great to get the energy in the crowd going for the rest of the night.  The finisher botch was handled incredibly well – instead of struggling awkwardly, Sheamus tossed Ziggler away, they reset and called an audible.  Kudos to both guys.   Sheamus continues to look strong heading into ‘Mania and Ziggler continues to contend with World Title contenders.

The long-expected multi-man tag match for control of both shows is made official: Team Teddy Long vs 

Team John Lauranaitis will be a 12 man tag match for General Manager-ship of both shows. 
Otunga and Santino will captain the teams.

Rewind to Smackdown with Long schoolboying Lauranaitis for the pin.

Mr. Excitement heads to the announce booth for the next match, a mixed tag.  Santino and Aksana enter, followed by David Otunga, with no partner in sight.  Johnny decides to change his mind – this will now be a handicap match, and Mark Henry is Otunga’s partner.

Match 2 – Santino Marella (United States Champion) vs David Otunga and Mark Henry

Long storms out as the match begins to get in Lauranaitis’ face.  Otunga is all over Santino to open.  Long shoves Ace over a chair and Santino begins to make a comeback.  Henry gets a blind tag, and Santino walks into a World’s Strongest Slam for the loss

Winners: Mark Henry and David Otunga via Pinfall

Otunga and Henry double team Santino after the bell, drawing Kofi Kingston out, only to walk into a World’s Strongest Slam.  R-Truth is next, ending up beaten up by both men, taking The Verdict from Otunga and a splash from Henry.  Lauranaitis announces Henry added to his 12 man squad.  Teddy has really picked himself some winners so far.

Miz guest stars on Psych this week, which WWE will remind us of multiple times tonight.

Part of Cena’s rap replays.  I understand this is a big part of the show, but it’s only been 30 minutes.

Zack Ryder happens upon Eve in the back.  Apparently Zack is playing himself and Eve wants to be friends with benefits.  Beth Phoenix is mad at Maria Menounos from Extra, because apparently she wasn’t on her show.  She propositions Eve concerning Zack, and Eve gets mad.  This is all ludicrous.

Miz busts into Johnny’s office and wants to be on Team Lauranaitis at ‘Mania.  James Roday from Psych comes in to back up Miz.  If Miz wins his match tonight, he’s on the team.  His opponent?  WWE Champion CM Punk.  Roday doesn’t seem to like Miz’s chances.  Always a vote of confidence when your buddy thinks you’re about to get your ass kicked.

Match 3 – Jinder Mahal vs Brodus Clay

Mahal attacks Clay from behind and gets a headbutt, a t-bone suplex and a big splash for the pin for his troubles.

Winner: Brodus Clay via Pinfall

The intro and outro for Brodus are each longer than the matches he has.  I’m okay with this gimmick, but “real” matches wouldn’t hurt the guy.  He’s a like a giant Taz – let him suplex the bejeezus out of people.  He’s been gone for two months and comes back with possibly his shortest match, with no change at all to his shtick.  Seems odd.

Shawn Michaels comes out and begins the verbiage of “the end of an era” which will be the central theme of HHH/Undertaker at ‘Mania.   Normally I love a talking segment with HBK, and when you throw in ‘Taker or HHH it’s typically better.  This was a LOT of words to boil down to “we all respect each other”.  Undertaker introduces the only new thought: The end of the match, win or lose, must be pure.  He doesn’t want HBK’s ego getting in the way of a pure ending.  Shawn reiterates that as special referee, he knows who is going to win.  As he leaves, HHH comes out onto the stage, looks at Undertaker and gives him a crotch chop.

Next Segment: Slam of the Week.  They replay Jericho countering Punk’s inside cradle to pin him from last week.  I remember when the Slam of the Week was just the biggest spot or baddest bump of the week.  A simpler time, I guess.  Wouldn’t really consider a small package a ‘slam’.

James Roday will announce the participants for the next match.  As he takes the microphone, a lone fan is very clearly heard yelling “We want Gus!”.

Match 4 – The Miz vs CM Punk (WWE Champion)

Jericho is watching this in the back, in wrestling gear and lite-brite jacket.  Miz starts with a quick schoolboy; good call, to show that he wants to get this win.  Punk lays in with kicks and Miz delivers a knee to the gut.  Back from a commercial, Miz has Punk in an abdominal stretch.  After escaping, Punk lands a high kick and follows with a springboard clothesline, a neckbreaker and the corner knee/bulldog combo.  Miz fights out of a GTS attempt, but eats a leg lariat from Punk off the ropes.  Miz answers with a kick to the knee and his signature DDT.  Punk dodges Miz’s top rope axe handle and attempts another GTS, but Miz fights out, landing behind Punk.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Punk throws him over his shoulder, hanging on and wrapping him into the Anaconda Vice for a tap out.

Winner: CM Punk via Submission.

Jericho appears on the Titantron.  He accuses Punk of being a fraud.  He asks “why are you a straight edge?”  Turns out Punk’s dad is an alcoholic.  Jericho promises to drive Punk to drink.  Punk sells this diatribe like a shotgun and very slowly leaves the ring and makes his way up the ramp to the back.  I’ve mixed feelings on this.  On one hand, expanding the story is a good thing, even if it is getting close to Wrestlemania.  On the other, this was a match that was based on two wrestlers, claiming to be the best wrestler in the world, and settling it by wrestling.  This is one case where the personal attack may not add to it.  I’ll reserve judgment for a couple of weeks though, as I keep the faith in Y2J.

There’s a ‘commercial’ spot for David Otunga’s twitter and his legal services to be provided via twitter.  Entirely strange.

Match 5 – Randy Orton vs Jack Swagger

Swagger gets the ‘no entrance’ treatment.  Swagger starts by taking Orton down and they exchange fireman’s carries.  Orton lands a dropkick and tosses Swagger to the outside.  He whips Swagger into the stairs and rams his head into the announce table.  Back into the ring, and back out to commercial.  Back from break, Orton is fighting out of a hold, but Swagger chop blocks him to start working on the legs for the Ankle Lock.  Swagger scoop slams Orton, but whiffs a Swagger bomb.  After an ankle lock attempt, they find themselves both climbing the same turnbuckle.  Orton wins the fight and lands a superplex.  Cole tells us we don’t often see him do that, even though since his return it’s become a mid-match staple of his repertoire, likely as a tribute to his dad “Cowboy” Bob Orton.  Orton turns it up and lands signature clotheslines and a powerslam, followed by the rope-hung spike DDT.  He coils on the mat and hits the RKO for three.

Winner: Randy Orton via Pinfall

Kane’s pyro hits and the arena goes red.  But Kane doesn’t come out.  Orton was selling looking over his shoulder during the match.  Perhaps this teases someone actually getting into the head of Randy Orton.

Another part of Cena’s rap is replayed.

Rock makes his entrance to end the show.  It boils down to insulting Cena and reminding Cleveland that they rock via song.  Rock finishes up with a mom joke and then leads the crowd in a karaoke-custom edition of Queen.  Somehow Rock is incapable of following the lyrics on the Titantron, stuttering and ad-libbing throughout.  The crowd still eats it up, so job well done, I supposed.  Without a doubt, Cena’s rap came off far stronger than Rock’s happy guitar time.  See The Rock sing here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_dpK88vSAY

An odd up and down Raw.  Cena was as strong as possible with his opening promo and then wasn’t heard from the rest of the night.  Ziggler and Sheamus put on an excellent match and showed that they can think on their feet.  We got two squash matches, one to semi-advance the General Manager storyline and one because the Funkasaurus is back.  Undertaker and HBK didn’t accomplish much with their talk; we know Undertaker wants things to go down “pure”, regardless of the outcome.  Punk and Miz had an ok short match, but Miz continues to look weak with a weeks-long losing streak, not even able to make the team for a 12-man tag match.  Orton picks up a clean win and, instead of Kane just attacking him, he messes with the Viper’s head.  Rock’s promo wasn’t bad by any means, but compared to Cena, it just seemed to fall a bit flat, shadowed by the song’s focus on begging Cleveland to cheer for themselves.

This falls into the “filler” show category as we head into Wrestlemania.  There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, but there was a lot of talking on the show.  I like that Rock and Cena don’t seem to be heading toward a fight before the pay-per-view.  They need to stay hands off until that match.  Next week, HBK/HHH/Undertaker will all be present; here’s hoping they make more of a point than this week.  Who do you think came off better between Rock and Cena?  Let us know in the comments!

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WWE Smackdown Lowdown 3/9/2012

Friday Night Smackdown – March 9th, 2012

For some reason, tonight we’re not given a countdown for Wrestlemania.  By my count, we’re 22 days out.  It’s crunch time; angles need to be finalized (to be fair, the whole uppercard actually is finalized by this point), promos need to be cut and shows need to open strong.  Which is, of course, why we’re greeted by John Laurinitis and David Otunga in the ring to open Smackdown.  A cage is lowering as Mr. Excitement brags about Teddy Long never giving away a cage match.  That’s right, John; Teddy never gives away what should, by all rights, be a main event level match type to open his show.  The participants for our steel cage opener?  A rematch for the United States title that Santino Marella captured this past Monday.

Match 1 – Cage Match - Jack Swagger vs Santino Marella (United States Champion); United States Title Match

Swagger enters with Dolph and Vickie flanking him; shenanigans shall be afoot in this one.  Recapturing the personality he lost with his World Heavyweight Title run, Swagger does his pushups AND his line crossing bit.  Swagger’s new haircut makes him look like a 6’6, 250lb Beaver Cleaver.  Awful.  Santino enters after a couple of pre-match laps around the cage.  Michael Cole has Laurinitis’ head cutout on paper and on a stick.  That’s as much reason as we got for that, so I’m going to ignore it.  Santino opens the match by dodging Swagger.  During this exchange, the size difference between the men is obvious; Swagger is a big, big man.  He’s the type that makes no sense to be on a losing streak; above many other roster members, Swagger looks like the type of guy that would outright kick your ass.  After a couple of ‘usual’ cage bumps, Swagger grabs Santino for a short-arm clothesline.  Santino dodges a second one and runs to climb the cage, but gets caught and thrown like a lawndart into the cage wall.  He quickly recovers and catches Swagger with a typical Santino split -> hiptoss -> headbutt combination.  Instead of saluting, Santino did what can only be described as a “Flair Flop headbutt”.  The cobra comes out, which draws Ziggler to grab onto the cage; Santino answers with a cobra to each set of knuckles, which Ziggler sells like a hit with a hammer.  Ziggler is sent away from ringside by the referee as Santino cobras (that’s a verb now) his way out of a belly-to-back suplex attempt from Swagger.  A commercial break leads us into Swagger being control on the return.  Santino tries to counter with a schoolboy and a sunset flip, but ends up eating a drop toe hold into the turnbuckle, followed by a Swagger Bomb.  Santino recovers after Swagger gets crotched mid-escape and lands a tornado DDT.  Santino runs for the door, but Swagger catches him twice, the second time breaking out the Ankle Lock.  Vicki prepares to slam the door on Santino’s head, but he rolls through the Ankle Lock and she ends up tagging Swagger.  Santino rolls out to escape for the victory.  Of note, the shot from the cage door landed the pipe, not the mesh on Swagger’s head; that had to hurt.

Winner: Santino Marella retains the United States Championship via cage escape

Santino is greeted by Teddy  Long for a hug (He is, after all, still the assistant to the general manager of Smackdown) and the fans go nuts.  They really do love what most people see as a ‘joke’ wrestler.  A mid card title run gets him more camera time, more time to cut his fun promos and more time for the fans to see his signature spot.  No real detriment there.

Cut to Otunga and Laurinitis in the back, enter Teddy Long.  Laurinitis demands an apology for Long “Pushing him on his butt”.  Laurinitis is still booking Aksana vs Kane.  Teddy and Laurinitis will wrestle for Aksana vs Kane; as per Laurinitis, if Long wins, the match will happen.  In other words, Laurinitis wants Long to lay down for him.  These guys aren’t active wrestlers, so a loss on the books isn’t all that embarrassing.

Raw Rewind to HBK/HHH on Raw.  Undertaker and Michaels will be on Raw together.  Until ‘Mania, we will likely see every possible combination of these three men in the ring to tease tension.

Drew McIntyre enters, with music and Titantron.  A fired man can contact the production truck, request an entrance and nobody seems to have an issue with this, apparently.  Laurinitis is giving him a chance to win back his job.  Khali enters, much to the chagrin of Drew.   Otunga then comes out and tells Khali to sit, because Drew’s opponent is…Hornswoggle!  So why send Khali out at all?  Also, I (and I can only imagine so very many of you) saw this coming a mile away.

Match 2 – Drew McIntyre vs Hornswoggle

Drew drops Hornswoggle with a leg wheel trip, which Hornswoggle took like a DDT from Raven.  Drew proceeds to scoop slam and pin Hornswoggle, only to pull him up at a two count.  Drew repeats this, then drops Hornswoggle with a rib breaker and tosses him to the side, at which point the ref stops the match. 

Winner: Drew McIntyre via referee stoppage

McIntyre celebrates at a Daniel Bryan level.  Khali hops in and gives Drew a Brain Chop for his troubles, because apparently Khali is concerned for Hornswoggle.  We’ll never revisit this.

Long is prepping for his match, and Aksana comes in to tell him “Teddy, I’m scared Kane” (and no that isn’t a typo).  Teddy is prepared to teach Ace a lesson.

Laurinitis is shadow boxing like someone who’s never thrown a punch in his life.  So to prepare for a wrestling match, where closed fists aren’t allowed, Johnny is shadow boxing.  Pay attention, Board of Directors.

Match 3 – Ezekiel Jackson vs Mark Henry

Both men start out hammering away at each other.  The ref pops into view and it’s a new ref!  For some reason, my fiancée popped for this and I promised I’d tell the world.  New ref is almost as fat as Todd Sinclair (of Ring of Honor), but I guarantee he doesn’t move like him!  Henry takes control of the match, big scoop slam on Zeke.  Henry whiffs an elbow drop, Zeke comes back with his repeated clotheslines in the corner, then walks into the World’s Strongest Slam for three.

Winner: Mark Henry via Pinfall

I imagine they want to make Henry still a credible threat, and Michael Cole declares this an impressive win.  David Otunga beat Ezekiel Jackson in half the time, two shows in a row.  What part of this was impressive?

As we move toward John Laurinitis vs Teddy Long, Cole mentions this being Laurinitis’ first match in WWE.  This is true; he wrestled in Japan and WCW, best known as Johnny Ace.  No mention is made here that Ace, for all intents and purposes, invented the Cutter (which he called the Ace Crusher), which we’ve all seen and popped for as done by Diamond Dallas Page and Randy Orton (among countless others).  To give him some credibility, why not mention that he laid the foundation for the RKO; arguably the most popular finisher in WWE?  Because Michael Cole doesn’t do his job.

Match 4 – John Laurinitis vs Teddy Long: If Teddy Long wins, Aksana faces Kane.

Laurinitis is out in underarmor; why not wear his own Future Endeavored shirt?  Ace demands Teddy lay down, which he refuses.  Laurinitis then beckons Kane to the ring.  Why does Kane obey Laurinitis, exactly?  Orton chases out and delivers an RKO (that move you invented came back to haunt you, Ace!) to Kane outside the ring.  Laurinitis yells at Orton, and Long rolls him up with a schoolboy for three.

Winner: Teddy Long via Pinfall

Long and Aksana quickly leave the building after this.  Important here:  Apparently the RKO trumps the general manager’s decree, as Aksana should, by all rights, have had to face Kane tonight.  Also, Teddy does a better schoolboy roll up than half the roster.

Match 5 – R-Truth and Kofi Kingston vs Primo and Epico (Tag Team Champions); non-title match

Truth enters and high-fives little Jimmy (the invisible one).  Booker gives the worst Laurinitis impression ever.  The Colons’ entrance still focuses on Rosa.  Off to a great start.  Kofi and Epico start, and Kofi lands an impressive Monkey Flip; Epico can fly, even when he’s on the receiving end of a move.  Truth comes in and he and Kofi land a double hip toss, which Truth follows up on with a devastating combination of yelling “What’s up”, doing a split, hitting the ropes, doing a 360 degree dance and landing a leg drop.  Kofi reenters and the team hits a combination high kick for a two count.  Kofi goes to hit the ropes, but Primo splits the top and middle rope and Kofi takes a tumble outside.  Booker credits this idea to Rosa, with no indication at all that she had Primo do this.  So Rosa knows the ring better than Primo Colon.  Ok.  Primo and Epico quickly tag in and out on Kofi to keep him down.  Crowd rallies, but Epico hits a butterfly suplex on Kofi, which Josh Matthews reacts to with “nice throw”.  Epico slaps on an abdominal stretch, answered by the commentators as “A potential submission maneuver”.  These things all have names; I don’t know why WWE has made a conscious choice to move away from calling them anything but a “move” “throw” or “maneuver” with other qualifiers sprinkled about.  Booker T, of all people, corrects this and actually calls it the abdominal stretch.  The ref gets distracted and Kofi end sup held down by Primo, with tags teased.  Kofi lands a single leg drop kick and Truth comes in to run wild off the tag.  He hits the Lie Detector forearm, but Epico breaks up the pin.  Kofi hits Primo with a corner rope-hung kick, and he walks right into what Truth called, at last check, “The Little Jimmy”, which is his jumping complete shot.  This is good for the three count.

Winners: R-Truth and Kofi Kingston via pinfall.

Once again, the tag champs lose clean to a ‘team’ of two wrestlers stuck together because there’s nothing better for them to do.  This is why nobody cares about the non-existant tag division.  At the very least, this was a great match, so I’m willing to let this go, as long as it leads to something.

Raw Rebound to Cena/Rock.  Cena loses everything if he can’t defeat the Rock.  There’s really no logic behind this.  At all.  You’re still the biggest active star in the industry after Wrestlemania, regardless of the outcome.  Your job and career are not on the line.  This is false drama being piped in.  Admittedly though, after the last couple promos from these two, I’m beginning to become more invested in this match.

The next (and final) segment is Michael Cole interviewing Bryan and Sheamus, to lead into the main event.  I quite like when WWE structures it this way; both guys need to be out here for the match, so why have two different segments?  It’s a great natural flow.  Cole accuses Bryan of needing luck, to which he responds that when you’re good, you don’t need luck.  Bryan gets by on “the knowledge and application of scientific wrestling, a vegan lifestyle, charisma and sex appeal.”  When Bryan is left to be a smarmy heel, he absolutely shines.  Cole then asks Sheamus if it was the luck of the Irish that led him to his Royal Rumble victory.  He says he’s been lucky all his life, and people make their own luck.  AJ opts to begin speaking to which, Bryan immediately snaps “Shut up, AJ.”  He says she’s done nothing but get in the way.  Sheamus tells Bryan that he should be the one wearing a skirt in the relationship and that at Wrestlemania, his luck will run out.  The remaining wrestlers for the main event begin to enter in a heel, face, heel, face pattern.  That’s a bit different.

On the whole, this promo is great: There’s a centralized theme (Luck) with a good contrast of Bryan “not needing luck” and Sheamus saying that people make their own luck.  Bryan gets to play the heel with his egotism and telling AJ to shut up.  I can’t help but feel this continues leading to April 1^st, culminating in Bryan taking it one step too far, AJ slapping him and his walking into a Brogue Kick or White Noise.

Match 6 – Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show vs The Miz, Cody Rhodes (Intercontinental Champion) and Daniel Bryan (World Heavyweight champion)

This seems a mismatch: On one side, you have three men that entirely outsize their opponents, and on the other side you have both Smackdown champions.  Sheamus starts the match out by running over Rhodes.  Orton tags in and runs all over Rhodes, with the commentary team making mention of the Legacy history these two have.  This needs to be done more often, but kudos to them.  Bryan tags in and hits a corner dropkick.  Orton tags out to Show who proceeds to scoop slam Bryan who scampers over to his corner and tags out to Miz.  Miz takes a frying pan slap from Show and tags out to Rhodes.  Rhodes tags Miz back in and bails to the floor, leading to a commercial.  Back from break, Sheamus is hammering Miz.  Miz begins to fire back, but takes a rolling fireman’s carry from Sheamus.  Front dropkick from Miz knocks Sheamus outside and Bryan chases Sheamus off the apron with a flying knee.  Sheamus back in, and Bryan tags in to keep the pressure on.  Repeated knee drops onto the head of Sheamus, then tags out to Miz who boots Sheamus in the head for two.  Rhodes comes in for some stomps, followed by Bryan in for his signature chest kicks, now yelling “YES!” with each one.  I love this gimmick.  Miz comes in and hits his signature DDT, tags Rhodes back in who applies a full nelson to Sheamus.  That’s just begging for a counter and a hot tag.  Sheamus fights out, sets up for the Celtic Cross, Rhodes shimmies down for a russian leg sweep but ends up taking the Irish Curse.  Orton and Miz tag in and Orton does the usual clotheslines and powerslam.  Big Show takes Rhodes out and Bryan ends up tussling with Sheamus.  The Wrestlemania opponents have paired off, leaving Orton to counter the Skull Crushing Finale and land an RKO for the three count.

Winners: Randy Orton, Big Show and Sheamus via pinfall.

Kane comes back out to avenge his RKO earlier in the night and after a brawling lap around the ring, Orton and Kane end up fighting up into the crowd.  The copyright logo comes up and the show ends mid-brawl.  Kind of anti-climactic.

Good match, lots of quick tags from the heels and the signature spots everyone comes to see.  Nothing negative to say about this one. 

There’s still a heavy focus on the general managers, which is still leading in the direction of Team Teddy vs Team Ace at ‘Mania.  The Board of Directors really shouldn’t make decisions that way but what do I know?  The focus on the tag champs is still heavily on Rosa Mendez’s midriff and not on the Colons, who are great in the ring.  With no Money in the Bank match scheduled this year, I would wager a guess that Truth/Kofi (Boomtruth?) will face them for the tag titles at the big show.  Daniel Bryan and Sheamus are looking great heading into April 1^st and of any match, this is one where either outcome is great.  Punk should be retaining over Jericho, but either man holding the World Heavyweight Championship would be fine.  This may have been the first show with a cage match that didn’t involve the World Heavyweight Title in some fashion in quite some time; this isn’t at all a bad thing.

A look at ROH’s Tenth Anniversary show, as well as a look at the best wrestling you’re not watching will be coming soon – watch for them on the geek asylum twitter handle @thegeekasylum, as well as my own @sbfantom!

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Diablo 3 Gets Official Release Date!

The wait is almost over folks. With all the suspense from tight lipped employees of Blizzard, and very poor rumors from supposed retail store workers, we finally get an official release of the most highly anticipated PC game of the last 10 yrs. Diablo 3 will be released MAY 15 2012!. Let the countdown begin.

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A Geek Follow-Up: Double Fine Adventure Raises HOW MUCH?!

In a previous article by our lovely contributing writer Heather, she brought to our attention a small studio named Double Fine, led by former writer and programmer for LucasArts Tim Schafer. This studio was looking to raise $400,000 from fans using the website Kickstarter to start a new adventure game called "Double Fine Adventure. It seems they were under estimating how much gamers really want a good open adventure game. In the first 24hrs they raised $1,000,000 and in 2 weeks it was up to $2,000,000, so to say the least i'm sure all expectations have been blown away. Its only been about a month but now the fund raising is over. Double Fine and 2 Player Productions received over $3,000,000 in fan funding for Double Fine Adventure! Actually it was $3,335,265 to be exact. So now that the project is fully funded, let the real fun will begin.

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Geek Community Spotlight: CineFantasy

Our first Geek Community Spotlight goes out to CineFantasy. CineFantasy is a small post-production group based out of Italy. Luckily, YouTube has given them the ability to channel their fan-made video expertise to the masses. Their goal, “to create films and (web) series ever more beautiful.” In my opinion, more bad ass as well.

These geek connoisseurs have a sweet collection of self-made action sequences with the use of air soft weaponry, abandoned warehouses and great visual effects. The popular Call of Duty and Battlefield franchises also inspire their videos.

Was that an RC-XD car I just saw?

Not to shabby for a group of individuals with no serious funding backing them. They use a Canon EOS 5D and 60D cameras for it all. You can find their YouTube channel right here. Show some love.

Watch the video below for a little taste.

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IDW Comics: Magic The Gathering

IDW has delivered to us a comic book series modeled after the trading card game, Magic The Gathering. If you checked your local comicbook store, card store, or maybe even a book store, you might have caught a glance at these two issues, the lattter having been released this past Wednesday, March 7th 2012.




















Unlike most comics, these comics are displayed in package, sealed. They also include a piece of cardboard for sturdiness. So, in short, if you're able to pick up the comic and flip through it, you're missing out on something. Something that may interest you. Something...well remember how we mentioned Magic The Gathering is a trading card game? When you purchase the issue, you get a Magic The Gathering card, with artwork the same as the cover art. These are the two released so far:

If you're familiar with Magic the Gathering, you'll know what I mean when I say it's just a story of another Planeswalker. Outside of the names of a few familiar planes such as Ravnica and Innistrad, there isn't any indication of interaction with other planeswalkers or stories. If you don't know  anything about Magic The Gathering, a Planeswalker is a mage who can travel through the various planes of the multiverse. Each comic book also gives a small summary of what a Planeswalker is on the inside covers, incase you need the reminder or the lesson. As a story, this leaves multiple outcomes, as the character can cause a problem in one plane, travel to another, and have a completely different problem. The main character, Dack Fayden, does just that, jumping between the planes to gather information, create and solve problems, or just use the resources specific to a certain plane.

After reading the first two issues, the story is easy to get attached to. There isn't a lot of confusion, especially as Dack likes to think to himself alot. Overall it's a very easy read and I would recommend you pick up the books. I don't know much about the cards in their current state as far as the Trading Card Game goes, but I do appreciate the extra care IDW has put in to make sure theft of these cards is not so easy.

So it's up to you if you want to make the purchase of these issues. There's no indication that this is a limited series, whether it will always include cards, or whether or not it will always be about this particular character. If you're interested in Magic the Gathering, it can't hurt to pick it up. If nothing else, you get cards you can trade.

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Marvel Cinematic Universe: Avengers Prelude #1

This week comic stores had a little comic book titled "The Avengers Prelude: Fury's Big Week"

It's got the little "Marvel Cinematic Universe Official Tie-In" stamp on it, and as the title suggests it is a prelude to the Avengers movie releasing in theaters later this year. This is issue 1 of 4, so expect at least 3 more before the movie is released.

The purpose of a title like this is to let readers know exactly where they need to be in order to fill any loopholes in the movie. What that basically means is that if you haven't watched any of the other films (Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, etc) or if you're too focused on the actual Marvel Comics universe, you'll be on the same page as everyone else.

This book is the first of it's issues, and let's say this right off- $2.99 is too much. Why? Well as you read through it there are two aspects of this book- things you knew, and things you didn't know. For example, the book highlights a few of the moments in Iron Man 2, such as Tony's fight with Rhodey in the armor, and Tony sitting in the giant donut. The stuff you don't know, is exactly what Nick Fury does in SHIELD or what his orders are or were. This gives you a little insight into where his motives may lay in the future, especially with the movie.

The issue focuses mainly on three points. First, it shows that Nick Fury was highly interested in reviving Captain America, although as of this issue they haven't even located his body yet. Second, it shows Agent Coulson (I've been spelling it wrong this entire time, sorry readers!) informing Fury of the electromagnetic disturbances that movie-goers later discover to be the arrival of Thor. Lastly, we see the status of Tony Stark, and more or less the poisoning that he was exposed to in the middle of Iron Man 2. As you can see, since Nick Fury is involved in each of these points, it is appropriately titled " Fury's Big Week" for a reason.



My thoughts exactly, Agent Coulson.


As I previously said, this issue just gives a little more detail to the information you probably already know from watching the movies. If you see it, just pass it by. If you're going to read it, do so, but then put it back on the shelf. Maybe a later issue will give you more clarity, but for now you're stuck with just a tease.

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[Video] Short film by Heavy Rain developer Quantic Dream will blow you away

This seven minute video will keep you spellbound. I was actually shocked at how well done this was, and it reminds me once again why I'm such a fan of David Cage and the team at Quantic Dream. The short film apparently features a new tech developer as well.

It should be noted that this is not a new game, but a tech demo of sorts. For those who are unfamiliar with Quantic Dream, they are the team responsible for two very good games, Indigo Prophecy and Heavy Rain. You should play those when you get the chance, in the meantime watch this amazing short film.






Via: Reddit

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WWE Raw Wrap-Up - 03/05/2012

Monday Night Raw – March 5th, 2012

The countdown to Wrestlemania stands at 27 days.  Four short weeks to continue to build feuds, enhance challengers and make champions look strong (or weak, as necessary).  The first thing Raw presents to us is Shawn Michaels, full intro, pyro and all.  Always a welcome sight, and in Wrestlemania season, an indication that we should pay attention.  

We’re quickly reminded that Teddy Long is in charge tonight.  HBK wants to know what made Hunter have a change of heart regarding facing the Undertaker at ‘Mania.  HHH out comes out when beckoned, because the COO apparently has nothing more productive to do.  Short of transcribing a script, both men take mildly low shots at each other in a passive fashion, as they tend to do when they’re face to face.

Shawn takes offense that the turning point for Hunter seemed to be Undertaker insinuating that HBK was always the better man.  Hunter says the sentiment is all wrong; he’s tired of people talking behind Shawn’s back and he can’t stand looking at his best friend as a loser.  \When Hunter ends ‘Taker, it will be for himself and for Shawn.  HBK, tells us that he knew last year who would win and he’ll know this year as well:  Because he is the special referee. 

Now, this of course gets a huge fan reaction because who doesn’t want Shawn Michaels involved in Wrestlemania, but the issue at hand is the lack of reasoning given.  I expect we’ll get a bit of exposition on this next week when HBK and Undertaker will both be present at Raw, but at no point was a lack of effective officiating made a point throughout any of this.  I’m reserving judgment for a couple of weeks on pure faith.

Match 1 – Santino Marella vs Jack Swagger (c); United States Championship match

As Santino opens the match with jabs, a split and a hip toss, John Laurinitis and David Otunga approach the ring.  The cobra comes out early, but Ziggler (of course at ringside) runs interference.  Santino turns around into a Gutwrench Powerbomb for a very close two count, which the crowd goes absolutely wild for.  Cue up Teddy Long’s music and Long, Aksana and, for some reason, Kofi Kingston, join the ringside circus.  Santino counters another attempted Gutwrench Powerbomb, but Ziggler interferes again, this time eating a Cobra for his trouble.  The general managers get into it on the floor, creating a distraction that lands Santino in an Ankle Lock.  Santino fights out, rolls through, putting Swagger face first into the turnbuckle and rolls him up with a schoolboy for the three count.

Winner and new United States Champion: Santino Marella via pinfall

The GMs once again get into it, Long has security remove Laurinitis and Otunga and Laurinitis’ original objection to Santino’s win is cast aside, leaving Santino as your new US champ.  A parade of tromboning in the ring from Santino, Long, Aksana and Kofi lead us out.  Santino seemed to be asking for a mic as they cut to a Rock graphic, so the house crowd likely got a fun chat with him.  Kofi was present, but really did nothing at all here, other than being an ‘equivalent’ to Otunga at ringside.

Rock History Lesson #1: Rock compares throwing Cena merch into the river to the Boston Tea Party.  The 

Rock Revolution has begun.  While the merch might be silly (A Cena garden gnome among it), this kind of comparison doesn’t seem especially strong for the Rock.  It’s more akin to the silliness that Rock and fans criticize Cena for.

Match 2 - Alicia Fox vs Eve Torres

Alicia is in ring back from a break and Eve gets a full intro.  The intro lasted longer than the match, as Fox poorly executed a split/arm drag combination, got her leg swept from under her (another nod to Eve’s Gracie training?) and a roll up from Eve, which took longer than the three count to actually get into proper position for.

Winner: Eve Torres via pinfall

Ryder comes out to his music, tells Eve he’s thrilled they never hooked up, calls her a Hoeski and scampers off to the back.  Eve sells being incredibly distraught about this.  Eve catches up with Ryder back from a break, kisses him and runs off.  Ryder is of course thrilled with this, so we’ll be heading down an “Eve manipulates Ryder” storyline heading toward Wrestlemania.  I’m okay with this; keeping Ryder who, despite a silly gimmick, is really solid in the ring, in the public’s mind while he’s not active in the ring is a very good thing.

Cut to a pensive Cena in an empty arena pre show.  Cena needs this match; he needs this win.  The Rock returned and deemed him a worthy opponent, which he does not take lightly.  Cena vows not to be second-place.

Match 3 – Sheamus/CM Punk (WWE Champion) vs Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan (World Heavyweight Champion)

Typical WWE; ahead of the pay per view, we get to see the champs and their respective contenders fight.  A bit of making the fans “want” to see the match would serve everyone well.  Punk and Jericho start out, with solid arm drag and monkey flip action.  Jericho escapes and tags out to Bryan and Punk happily tags out to Sheamus.  Bryan quickly catches ten forearms in the ropes. 

Jericho sneaks in a kick to the back and tags in to try to take control, which of course leads us to a commercial.  Back in, we see Jericho drop Punk with a sideslam.  Punk escapes and tags Sheamus back in who lands the Irish Curse for a two count.  Jericho responds with a springboard triangle dropkick, knocking Sheamus off the apron.  Bryan follows around and lands a running dropkick on Sheamus. 

Back in the ring, Jericho controls Sheamus with a chinlock, leading to Sheamus powering out.  Jericho goes for his one-handed bulldog, but Sheamus shoves him into the corner, leading to both men tagging out to the two champions.  As he lands suplexes and neckbreakers, Punk continues to sell his back from the attack from Jericho last week.  It’s an important touch, and one that isn’t paid attention to often enough.  He ascends the top rope and dives off with his Macho Man elbow, again selling the impact, even as he makes the cover. 

Punk soon after finds himself almost placed in the Walls of Jericho, but counters into a small package, only for Jericho to get the leverage and roll over enough for Punk to be pinned.  Jericho pins his Wrestlemania opponent and Sheamus takes a loss that he doesn’t quite “suffer”.  Bryan gets a win that he didn’t “earn”.

Winners: Daniel Bryan and Chris Jericho via pinfall

Bryan, if continued to be booked this way, is more than likely to lose at Wrestlemania.  The chickenshit heel wins can only continue so long and Sheamus seems to be the man that will put a stop to them.  Another win from Bryan and a continued chase from Sheamus isn’t at all a bad option either.

Rock History Lesson #2: What if John Cena were Paul Revere?  What if Rock went back in time?   

Apparently women would line up to serve him Boston Cream Pie.  Also, penis jokes.  This is the “bad” Cena territory for Rock to explore.  Likely done on purpose for Cena’s benefit, but good for a cheap laugh, at the very least.

Match 4 – The Miz vs Big Show

Cody Rhodes come out as the match starts, shows Big Show not being involved in Wrestlemania 18 and instead stomping around at “The World” that is long since closed.  Not especially embarrassing, Cody.  Miz takes advantage and attacks from behind.  Show spears him and readies the Weapon of Mass Destruction, knocking Miz out.  Another 30 second match tonight.  Poor, poor Miz.

Winner: Big Show via pinfall

Beating the Miz at this point, especially in 30 seconds doesn’t do much for Show and doesn’t prove anything.  Miz has been a loser for six months now, so this doesn’t make Show look any stronger, other than knocking out someone the same size as Rhodes.

Rock History Lesson #3: The American Fighting spirit lives in Rock and he’s coming to the arena tonight.  Great.  The negativity isn’t to say these aren’t decent Rock promos and don’t have a strong energy; the Rock always exudes energy as he talks.  But these seem infantile compared to the empty arena self-discussion that Cena gave earlier in the night.

Formal announcement that HBK and Undertaker will both be at Raw next week.

Match 5 – R-Truth vs Kane

Another short match.  Kane resists early strikes from Truth, comes back at him with a snapmare and low dropkick.  Problem is, Truth stayed lying down after the snapmare, when he should have sat up and Kane didn’t adjust, so it looked more like an incredibly lazy Boom Drop.  Truth makes a short comeback, Kane dodges the Axe Kick and chokeslams Truth for the pin.

Winner: Kane via pinfall

As Kane hits his after-match pyro, Randy Orton’s music hits, he hits the ring and Kane hits the mat thanks to an RKO.  Orton grabs a mic, lays down next to Kane and says “It’s good to be back” answering Kane’s chokeslam and “Welcome back Randy” from Smackdown.  Odd program, but Orton does need to get involved.

The rest of the night is dedicated to Cena and The Rock.  Cena comes out to the usual mixed reaction.  Cena is happy that The Rock he’s seeing now is The Rock he needs to beat.  He wants The Rock; not Dwayne.  In the same breath, he compares  The Rock to “The situation” from Jersey Shore.  Verbatim, he tells us that “The Situation” is from Jersey Shore.  If you have to make that much of a clarification, the joke isn’t working.  That’d be like calling him “Urkel…From Family Matters!”.  He says that Rock has come back, but he’s shaken.  He calls for Rock to come out, and he obliges.  Rock asks what he sees as he looks at Cena?  “Fear.”  The fear that Rock will take everything away from Cena.  Rock tells Cena he isn’t at all shaken.  Rock takes a couple of “Toothfairy” chants and Cena ends the night by jumping into the Boston crowd.

Here’s the exposition, the interaction that we need from both men to make us care about this match beyond “Hey, Rock is back!”.  If they are going to take one of the main event spots, there needs to be an investment from the fans other than it being a spectacle.  The build now feels like it’s slowly making Cena have more of an edge.  If he can keep that up through and past Wrestlemania, then we have a net gain.  If Rock bests Cena in four weeks, we can only imagine that Rock/Cena 2 will be a main event next year.  Another year long build could be maddening if not done right.  As with the HBK/HHH/Undertaker dynamic, it will have to grow, but it has the potential to be what they want: Record setting, and more importantly…trending.

Coming soon: A reflection on being at Ring of Honor’s Tenth Anniversary Show at Hammerstein Ballroom this past weekend and how damn hard wrestling fans are to please.

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WWE Smackdown Lowdown 3/02/2012

Friday Night Smackdown – March 2^nd, 2012

One month.  Thirty short days until the grandest stage of them all – Wrestlemania.  And our show opens with a recap of why Randy Orton is returning to Smackdown tonight.  Normally, I would say this short pre-credits segment should focus on Wrestlemania, but we’ve seen enough of Rock/Cena in the last week, so I’ll give this a pass.  A reworked intro to show some new faces during the opening credits.

The show opens proper with Sheamus out to an eruption of fan support.  A quick bout of storytime with Sheamus, discussing his journey from Rumble to Mania.  He then switches focus to Daniel Bryan and how he’s changed since capturing the World Heavyweight Title.

 Sheamus draws a quick comparison to himself after winning his first title and how he became what he hates most – A bully.  Much like what Sheamus needed, Bryan needs someone to set him straight, which Sheamus is more than happy to volunteer for.  And on that note…”EXCUSE ME!!”  Dolph and Vickie enter the scene, with Ziggler quick to point out that the world wants and deserves to see him at Wrestlemania, not the Great White.  We’re treated to some jokes about Vickie being a grandma and Teddy Long does what he does best – enter to music, make a match and skedaddle to the back.

Match 1 – Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus

Strong open to the match from both men, with Sheamus running over Ziggler with shoulder tackles and Dolph answering with a well placed dropkick to reset.  After the reset, they look to do the same spot again, but this time Sheamus hugs the ropes, leaving Ziggler to whiff the dropkick.  Sheamus beats Ziggler in the corner and then transitions to 10 forearms while Ziggler is wrapped in the ropes.  Booker T, astute as always, informs us that this is a “beatdown”.  After another reset, Ziggler manages to drop Sheamus across the second rope with a neckbreaker to take control.  Back in the ring, a traditional neckbreaker for a close two count.  Standard repeating and jumping elbow drop from Ziggler for another near fall.  After fighting up from a chinlock, Sheamus begins to take control back, only for Ziggler to slap on his sleeper hold.  Sheamus fights out by jettisoning Ziggler from the ring. 

Climbing back in, Ziggler jumps at Sheamus from the top with a double axe handle, but ends up in the Irish Curse backbreaker.  Vickie sneaks Dolph’s foot onto the bottom rope to break the pin, which Booker T takes exception to.  Sheamus sets up for the Celtic Cross (Which is what they are calling his crucifix powerbomb now), but Ziggler counters into a great sunset flip.  Back to their feet, Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and readies for the Brogue Kick.  Jack Swagger comes out to interfere and catches the kick from Sheamus, who turns around into a huge leg drop bulldog (Ziggler doesn’t really have a name for his version of the Fameasser yet).  Ziggler prepares for a Zig Zag but gets shrugged off and walks right into Sheamus’ version of the Air Raid Siren/Kryptonite Krunch, dubbed White Noise for the three count.

Winner: Sheamus via Pinfall.

Strong opener – always a good way to get the crowd truly interested.  A lengthy match, back and forth, and the babyface Sheamus overcomes interference twice to get a clean win over a strong foe.

We are then informed that John Laurinitis and Teddy Long will swap shows next week, apparently to see who the better GM is.  Effective decision, Board of Directors.

Back from commercial, we rewind to last week with Santino’s cobra spitting in Heath Slater’s face.  I’m going to say more with less here.  Most importantly, they have a match.  Next.

Match 2 – Santino Marella vs Heath Slater

Slater in the ring back from the video package and Santino makes his powerwalk entrance.  Start of the match gives us a split-dodge and some jabs from Santino.  Slater blocks the saluting headbutt for a reset.  Off the ropes, Slater lands a great facsimile of the Harlem Side Kick on Santino; Booker has nothing to say about this.  Way too many opportunities for good comments from him are missed and way too many obvious comments are given.  As Slater ascends the turnbuckle and subsequently gets crotched, a few rowdy fans started a weak “You can’t wrestle” chant in his direction.  While crotched, Slater eats a Cobra, tumbles off and gets pinned.

Winner: Santino Marella via pinfall

As Santino trombones around the ring, which the crowd loves, Michael Cole talks about how ridiculous the Cobra is and how it’s even worse than the Spinaroonie, which of course draws the ire of Booker T.  On another note, the “You can’t wrestle” chant at Slater is wholly unwarranted.  He’s no fan favorite, he’s no megastar, but Slater wrestles incredibly well and sells like a champ.  “You can’t tan” would be a bit more accurate.

A quick rewind to the most recent HHH/Undertaker Wrestlemania 27 recap.  Jim Ross’ voice over this type of video truly makes it better, bigger, stronger.  There just isn’t anyone who can make you believe in what you’re watching like good old JR.  HBK will be on RAW again; important, as he will definitely play into the Wrestlemania 28 rematch and needs to be established with a good reason to do so.

Eve is primping in the back, staring at herself in a mirror.  Natalya (previously a cruel heel) tells Eve that she doesn’t at all approve of Eve’s treatment and use of Zack Ryder.  Eve tells Nattie that Ryder is “Sweet and genuine, but he stinks.” Natalya, on cue, farts and tells Eve “No, THAT stinks.”  So in one fell swoop, we find out that Ryder’s choice of Axe spray is less than stellar and that Natalya has now embraced her IBS, which is then discussed by the commentators.  Super duper use of a great female wrestler, guys.

Match 3 – Natalya vs Eve Torres

Natalya is in the ring, Eve gets an intro, to huge boos and “Hoeski” chants.  We wrestling fans love chanting things.  Natalya with a quick headlock and Eve with an (unexpected) jiu-jitsu style escape.  To be fair, she does some Gracie training, but we haven’t really seen it in the ring until now.  A quick exchange leads to dueling kip-ups.  Eve breaks out another new hold for this match: A straight-jacket clutch (You WWF No Mercy fans may know this by the name “Goku-Raku Stretch”).  Natalya counters for a roll, Eve counters this by rolling through and picks up a three count.

Winner: Eve Torres via pinfall

Not much to note here, really: The commentators ignored the action of a divas match as usual (Three men on the headsets, not one can point out a new move for a popular diva??) and Natalya extended her hand for a shake early in the match, which Eve ignored.  So Eve is solidly heel, Natalya is moving back in the direction of a face, but with a semi-comedy gimmick.  We’d all much rather see her fart weekly, rather than seeing Sharpshooters.  WWE knows their fan base so, so well.

Our next segment has Cody Rhodes come out to the ring, which is always a treat.  He prepares to show more embarrassing Big Show moments at Wrestlemania, but Show comes out to interrupt.  Rhodes runs away through the crowd and Teddy Long comes out to make Rhodes vs Show for the Intercontinental title official for ‘Mania.  Big Show was the World Champion just months ago.  Now he’s thrilled for an IC title shot.  Should be happiest about getting his hands on Rhodes.  Can’t imagine Show goes over and wins this title from what has become a young star, so interesting to see how this plays out.  Also, Show is facing Henry right now

Match 4 – Mark Henry vs Big Show

Early in the match, Show takes a backwards flip over the top rope courtesy of a Mark Henry lariat.  Not sure I’ve ever seen that before.  After Show’s head is rammed into an exposed turnbuckle, we cut to commercial.  Back from break, Henry is still in control and Rhodes is on commentary.  Outside, Mark Henry throws the ring steps at Big Show’s head, as he is leaning on the ringpost.  Show dodges, but regardless of hitting him or not, how is that NOT a disqualification, really?  Back in the ring, Henry lands a Vader Bomb on the Big Show for two.  Show fights back with a big boot and spear, but walks into the World’s Strongest Slam for a very close two count.  Mark Henry gets up and walks into a desperation WMB from Big Show for the three count.

Winner: Big Show via pinfall

Some stare downs, some trash talk.  All in all, meant to show that Big Show is back to being a menacing force and Rhodes need fear.

Drew McIntyre is in the back and Long informs him that this is his last chance.  His real last chance.

A Raw recap of Orton ‘suffering a concussion’ from a Bryan belt shot to the head.  Orton tells us he’s angry and vengeful; big change of pace.  Orton feels Bryan cost him a chance to be the champion at Wrestlemania and wants to collect on a debt.

Match 5 – Drew McIntyre vs Justin Gabriel

Drew in the ring, Justin gets an entrance.  Too many of these tonight; the entrance is a big part of a wrestler’s character.  Drew starts out aggressive with clotheslines and a big boot, followed by repeated cover attempts.  Shows us that he wants to win above all else.  He’s also very careful about 5 counts in the ropes and turnbuckles, which he shows by begging off with the ref; a nice touch.  Gabriel hits a big headscissors-to-DDT transition and lands the 450 for a pin, after essentially no other offense.

Winner: Justin Gabriel via pinfall

Teddy Long pops up on the Titantron to send Drew packing, for real this time.  We can only imagine that when Laurinitis runs Smackdown next week, he’ll rehire Drew and pull him into his fold.

A trailer for Edge in “Bending the Rules”. Usually I wouldn’t care about a WWE commercial for a WWE film in a WWE show, but Edge is so damn smarmy that he actually might pull this role off well.

Raw Rebound for the fourth “rewind” of any sort on this show, five if you count the pre-credits opening video.  Focus of this one: Cena’s claim of “Dwayne” vs “Rock” as two different people.  I’d much rather see a fun match in all this recap time with the likes of Tyson Kidd or Trent Barreta, but I seem to be in the minority on that.

We cut to Daniel Bryan in the back, saying the World Heavyweight Title hasn’t changed him at all.  He gets a Mick Foley-style cheap pop for saying he’s from Washington, only to take the heel route to cheap heat, saying he’s glad he left as soon as he could.  He runs down his “role model” shtick, which is serving him incredibly well right now, but also shows a fire and intensity.  This is important, as up until now, he’s absolutely been showcased as a wuss, a cheater and not ‘worthy’ of the title.  As he finishes, Randy Orton’s music hits and it’s time for the main event of the night.

Match 6 – Randy Orton vs Daniel Bryan (World Heavyweight Champion), non title

First and foremost, I want to give big credit to the five guys on the hard camera side with “YES!” signs.  They managed a retweet from Bryan for that, and in modern WWE, that’s huge.  I’m sure they trended.

Orton, as expected, is very aggressive to start.  After a tumble outside, Orton stomps Bryan’s head on the steel steps, much to the chagrin of AJ.  Back inside, Bryan blocks a superplex attempt and follows with his big dropkick in the corner.  He follows with a dropkick to the arm and a single arm DDT; the previous segment’s intensity shows through with his focus on a single body part.  Orton begins to make his comeback but gets cut off.  Bryan tries to follow with a dive from the top, but eats a dropkick on the way down.  Orton finally makes his usual comeback, lands the second rope spike DDT and coils for the RKO.  Bryan counters twice, but finds himself set up for the spike DDT on the outside.  Then the arena goes dark and Kane’s pyro and music hit.  To finish the match, Orton goes after Kane and Bryan slips in to beat the count out.

Winner: Daniel Bryan via countout (Not announced)

Kane and Orton fight, Kane puts Randy’s bad arm into the ringpost and lands a chokeslam.  At one point, Bryan bailed from the ring and left poor little AJ (Who, for some reason, Booker T was absolutely brutal to on the microphone tonight) alone with Kane, but he ended up distracted by Orton, leading to the aforementioned chokeslam.  Kane gets on the mat and welcomes Randy back on the microphone.  Why?  Who knows.  We’ll see in a couple weeks as it develops.  The logic is likely nothing more or less than “Orton needs an opponent leading to Wrestlemania and Cena already beat the ash off of Kane”.

To end the show, Laurinitis and Otunga are shown in the back, impressed by Kane.  Laurinitis then says he’s going to book Kane vs Aksana next week.  That’s pretty harsh, Mr. Excitement.

Things continue to build for ‘Mania : Our world heavyweight champion continues to wrestle well but win by nefarious means, if at all.  Big Show, a former multi time world champion, is excited for an Intercontinental title shot.   Kane is mad at Randy Orton for existing…or something.  He’ll probably say how happy he is that Orton embraces hi s hate more than John Cena.  Eve is a heel.  At least Sheamus is doing what makes sense: A strong, consistent string of wins, by defeating his opponent in the ring.  The last few sentences may have sounded unnecessarily negative, but I am still more than excited to continue down the Road to Wrestlemania to see what unfolds.

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DC Comic Recap: Justice League

Your "New 52" Justice League

Way back in September, DC launched it's "New 52" series. For those who don't know, it was a major turning point where DC scrapped ALL of it's titles and began with 52 new #1 issues. This change was brought about at the end of the previous "Flashpoint" story that occurred over the summer, having altered the timeline permanently. The New 52 are the changes and new beginnings that occur due to this major change. This past February, DC wrapped up the first arc to one of the most anticipated titles of the New 52, the Justice League.

Before the New 52, everyone knew the Justice League. Whether you remember them from many years ago reading the comics, or from more recently watching them as a cartoon, you know of the core members. Most recently, you probably remember a team consisting of Superman, Batman, The Flash, Wonderwoman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, and Hawkgirl. You may throw Aquaman around here and there, or you might even go so far back as to wonder how a team existed without Robin or the Wonder Twins.

This time around, we see the same core five (Batman, Superman, Wonderwoman, The Flash, and one of the Green Lanterns) and then two not-so-new members. If you divert your eyes to the image above, the first incarnation of our New 52 Justice League will have Aquaman and Cyborg, previously affiliated with the Teen Titans.

Justice League, as it appears now, ran for 6 issues in it's first storyline, which introduced its readers to how the team was formed and established who was on it. Additionally, it gives us a slight look into one of the biggest villains both before and after Flashpoint, Darkseid.

So by now, you're probably itching to know what went on in these six monumental issues. If you aren't, you should be, so either continue reading or go to your local comic store and pick them up. If you're patient or low on cash, wait for the trade paperback or hardcover graphic novel. I'm telling you, it's worth it!

Let's say you're just lazy. Or maybe you like the way I write. Maybe you just want to know NOW. So, here you go. This is my issue-by-issue summary of what went on.

SPOILERS BELOW


We begin this storyline with Batman being chased by the police. We're not sure why, but he's apparently a wanted fugitive. In fact, as we later are told, most super-humans are. He's seen tracking a strange creature with a small box. Saved by the Green Lantern, who is surprised to see that a Batman even exists, the two notice the creature explode itself praising "Darkseid". After investigating the box, the two take to the skies to interrogate Superman, the only other alien life-form on Earth, to see if he knows anything.

Superman begins to attack them both, and while he has the upper hand, the Green Lantern phones in Barry Allen. Barry Allen is the Flash, and as the name implies, is there in just that- a Flash. After a small scuffle, Batman intervenes and the four discuss the box. As they discuss it, the box activates, teleporting many of those creatures, minions of Darkseid, to their scene and they begin fighting them off.

During this, Victor Stone witnesses the Green Lantern and Batman flying to meet Superman and a fellow teammate of his football team makes a remark how Mr Stone is a scientist studying super-humans at S.T.A.R. Labs. Later, when Victor is visiting his father at the lab, he notices the box being studied when it activates as well, transporting minions there and severely injuring Victor. Mr Stone straps his son to a machine, which assimilates with his body immediately, and begins activating various programming. It decodes the box, and transports Victor away temporarily.

Diana, the Wonder Woman, notices a horde of Darkseid's minions attacking and decides to attack them for the thrill of battle. Her fighting eventually leads her to the scene where Batman, Superman, Flash, and Green Lantern are fighting Darkseid's minions as well.

Aquaman is also introduced, having informed the other five that they are invading the sea as well. After showing off a bit of his talent for calling on various predator fish, he kills a large minion by impaling it with his trident through it's head.

At this point, Victor Stone returns, teleporting himself involuntarily to the scene to join the six heroes, murmuring something ominous. At that moment, Darkseid himself appears, fire in his eyes and all.

This is where issue #4 ends. I'd go on to give you a summary of what has happened in issue #5, but it's been done previously by Andrew M., which was posted to The Geek Asylum at the time of it's release. Feel free to read the full summary by clicking Here. You've made it this far, so show some support (and some interest!) and read his summary.

We move on to the last issue of this particular storyline, where we get a reality check on page 1. We see innocent civilians being attacked, and then subsequently saved by the remaining members of the team. As Aquaman, Flash, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and Cyborg repetitively make attacks on Darkseid, Batman is shown trying to rescue Superman. We see that he overhears some of Darkseid's minions mentioning the importance of the Kryptonian in helping locate Darkseid's daughter. Of course we don't know who that is, but I have a good hunch it'll come into play later in the series.

Cyborg activates one of the boxes, transporting the team and Darkseid to Superman's location, where Superman breaks free and unloads on Darkseid. After a severe pummeling, Cyborg teleports all of the team back to Earth, and deactivates all of the boxes left behind, at least delaying the return of Darkseid for the moment.

The team is congratulated and praised, although everyone agrees they are no team. They all feel as though they coincidentally joined forces to face a common threat. When asked what they would call themselves, the Flash takes the opportunity to call themselves a team, naming them "The Super Seven".

When you go to your comic store, or if you see it in a book store, pick up the issues. Don't wait. Don't be that guy or that girl. Don't be the one buying a graphic novel. Buy the 6 issues. It's worth the money.

These 6 issues lay down the foundations that the rest of the series will build upon. It has established at least the first seven members and started a plot line that probably will play a major role down the line in the series. The issues have amazing artwork, amazing detail, and really give you a good outlook on each character's individual powers. Go get them!

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Skylanders: WTF Is The Madness All About?

When we were children, we did childish things, but now that we’ve grown up, we put away those things. I think I heard that said somewhere… but, in theory, and in a mentally-mature world, sure! That’d work. But we like our video games. We like to see fantastic simulations of things that could never really happen, or shoot the crap out of the bad guys without ever having to tell Mom that we enlisted in the military.

Some people take their love for video games and bring it to the next level. Folks, I introduce to you the newest sensation for all ages, Skylanders: Spyro’s Adventure. I work in retail and1 out of 5 people that come in or call up ask for these stupid Skylanders figurines. I don’t even bother looking to see if we have them because I know we don’t, and I don’t bother to ask when we’re getting them in because my boss answers with the typical “who the hell knows?”

And so, I politely tell them we don’t have any. Onward they go to barrage the next store. Here I am thinking to myself, it’s like Turbo Man all over again! It’s true, but if there’s any implication that these things are the bee’s knees, the empty shelves would say exactly that. I have three questions: first, WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE THINGS?

Secondly, where the EFF did they come from? Lastly, when are we getting these things in stock? While I’ll never get my answer to the latter, I can help unravel the skyrocketing popularity of the newest must-have. It started with a company called Toys for Bob who is owned by Activision. The team was given the opportunity to revive the Spyro franchise, and while they sat on the idea wondering if it would actually work or not, Alex Ness and Paul Reiche III believed that it was "so outlandish that it was the most promising idea the team sketched out for the brand."



Ness reminisces "We thought a lot about toys. ...When you played with action figures, you always imagined them doing stuff, and we thought 'What if we could actually bring that toy into the game and do stuff with it?'" And this is where the idea was born. When Ness and his crew brought the idea up to Activision, it was by no means an automatic OMFGLEZDODISSSSSS!

It was more like a "Yeah, I guess" kind of deal. Much like how many of you (myself included) might see Skylanders right now. No matter what you think, Toys for Bob and Activision hit (in Dante's words) "jackpot." People of all ages are obsessed with this. It's the new Pokemon. The game is multi-platform throwing your character into this fantastical world of magic and prehistoric adventure.

If you haven't seen any videos on it - whether or not you care about it - your opinion might just change after watching it. It's Spyro at his most badass, his Skylander buddies at their funniest, and world-saving at its most entertaining. Think Space Jam humor mixed in with some Jak and Daxter hilarity.

So okay, you're not feeling this yet, I get it. But think about it for a second - most games you play, you play the whole way through the story through the eyes of one character, snipets of multiple characters, or you get a really shitty storyline if you're fortunate enough to be able to play through every avalable character (like Tekken). Skylanders is a bit different; you grab Spyro, put him on your portal, and now he's in your game.






Want to play someone else, like Trigger Happy? Put him on the portal, and now you're playing as him. Each character faces the world in different ways, so we can already say that the replay ability is massive in Skylanders. It's a great way to incorporate toys and childhood imaginations and make it come alive again. In this game, you aren't just the player. You're what they call a Portal Master, and as the Portal Master, you take control of the currently available 37 figurines(and to think, my store can't even get one toy!), including Spyro.

You're thrown into this fantastical world and embark on a journey of exploration, battle, treasure-hunting, all while on a quest to save the world from their enemy Kaos. This "portal" refers to a portal that you get when you buy the game, and it comes with 3 characters. You set up the portal, place it near your tv, and now the portal and the console are connecting to eachother, much like how a wireless controller works. But you're not simply just some shark or dinosaur looking thing.

Who you play matters. Much akin to the D&D setup where each character belongs to a certain class or "element" and each have varying attributes depending on who you choose. Each character have a primary and secondary attack, and after you level up, you gain more attacks, upgrade your attributes, etc.

It's a sophisticated game that even 6-year-olds can understand, and appeals to the nostalgia and familiarity of those who were into Spyro and have a geeky love for Dungeons and Dragons. I've said my piece, now let's hear yours. Any of you guys play it? Do you guys think it's worth the hype? Let us know in the comments below.

 Quotes pulled from: Game Informer, Youtube

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Syndicate: Bio-chips, corporate warfare, Skrillex, oh my.





Syndicate is not Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Syndicate is Syndicate, and that's okay. It's really not fair to compare the two, but I'm going to entertain it because it's bothering me. It's also because there are too many similarities to ignore. Don't misconstrue these similarities as Starbreeze Studios (Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay and Chronicles of Riddick: Assaullt On Dark Athena)  "ganking" DE:HR. The similarities lie only in setting and certain themes.

Both games are visually and thematically identical, just replace trans-humanism with humans embedded with bio-chips,  hardcore corporate espionage with full blown corporate warfare, and Adam Jensen with Miles Kilo. They're also fundamentally different from a gameplay perspective.

Syndicate is a superior shooter in almost every regard because it is a traditional FPS, through and through. Syndicate does try to emulate the cool praxis point system that was in DE to an extent, only it isn't nearly as robust or well designed. It serves little or no purpose in the game, while the praxis point system was basically the entire foundation of how your character played in DE.

The similarities are hard to ignore, especially in the narrative. Both tiltes tend to paint this very bleak future where corporations will be exceptionally greedy and evil, but Syndicate goes in a darker direction. While Deus Ex flirted with moral grey areas and ethics, Syndicate creates a world where corporations are the governing bodies of the world.

I'll break this down really easy for you. It's 2069 and companies are at war with each other in a massive power struggle. The world population has exploded, and to garner control, companies implanted chips into the general populace. Those who can't afford to be chipped are relegated to the pit of the underworld. You are an agent employed by Eurocorp, and it's your job to preserve the good of the company. The parameters? Execute objectives by any means necessary.



The world as Miles Kilo sees it. The DART 6 bio-chip opens up countless ways to dispatch your enemies. Usually ending in some grisly scene where people scream, bleed a lot, and explode.  

Sure it's a bit cliche, but I still go gaga for these sci-fi bits. DE:HR has a richer story to tell, but what sets Syndicate apart is its creative approach to a genre where players have seen it all. Syndicate may be an FPS, and finding imaginative or creative ways of making another FPS exciting is difficult. That being said, Starbreeze Studios did a phenomenal job of making Syndicate stand apart with some really ingenious gameplay elements.

The DART 6 gives you some insane ways to dispatch your enemies. It allows you to hack into enemy chip sets compelling them to do things that they have no control over. For example, say you're in a situation where you have three enemies firing at you, you have the ability have the guns backfire on enemies. This gives you time to turn on the slo-mo function (which has been done to death, but it's still so cool) and pick your shots. This is one of the more timid take down methods, the rest are incredibly violent.

The suicide and persuade functions are really where it's at. You can literally get into the heads of your enemies and have them take themselves out while taking out their team in the process. I loved how the DART 6 system worked seamlessly within combat. You could be in the middle of an insane firefight (which happens every five minutes) , and DART 6 works on the fly.




Low on ammo? Time to get creative. Use the persuade option to get covering fire from one of the grunts, and then get in close and snap a few necks to get ammo. Activate the backfire function to buy the time you need to plant a few rounds in the last couple of grunts. Remember the guy you used persuade on? Don't worry, once he's served his purpose he'll turn the gun on himself. Like a boss.

The DART 6 system has a lot to do with why I really enjoyed Syndicate. It's an  unique addition to a title that would otherwise be your run-of-the-mill shooter. The action is so satisfying in Syndicate not only because of DART 6, but sharp AI as well. The action can get overwhelming at times, requiring players to think on their feet. Enemies are well-organized, constantly flanking you as they ruthlessly attack you.

Syndicate isn't doing anything terribly new from a narrative standpoint, however, it does break some new ground with the DART 6 system. Syndicate is a gratifying experience (making an enemy pull a grenade on himself and running into his teammates never gets old.) due in large part to Starbreeze Studios creative approach to a genre that many feel has run stagnant.

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Project X-TREMELY AWESOME!

“The party you’ve only dreamed of” is the slogan of this film, and boy was it dead on. Before I get any deeper into this let me just say that if I were given the choice to do one last thing before I die it would be to go to this insanely over-the-top, X-tremely awesome anarchy-infestation of a party. If anybody else besides Todd Philips took on this project it would have fallen short. For those of you who don’t know, Todd Philips directed the films Old School, and The Hangover.

Throughout the history of film, or at least in the past decade there have been way too many party films to stomach. I can whole heartedly say that this one takes the cake! Imagine that you are in high school, or if you are then this is no problem. Imagine that you are the loser that nobody knows exists, your own parent’s think that you suck at having a social life. Then, for your birthday this year you throw this unbelievable party that everybody has either heard of or has been to. This is the main plot of Project X.

Project X is shot in the found footage style that many films are leaning towards now. Think Paranormal Activity 1,2, and however many more there are, the brand new film Chronicle (which was awesome by the way) and there are many more that are shot in the same style that are not really that noteworthy. For a party movie, this camera style worked flawlessly. You actually felt like you were there, getting wasted, taking hits, and going skinny dipping with all the drop dead gorgeous girls that only exist in our dreams...exhibit A:

That's just not fair...


One thing that I thought was kind of genius was the way they used montages to their advantage. Now, I know you’re thinking that the whole party is just going to be mashed together in a 7-10 minute montage and then you will have to stomach some story that nobody cares about at the end…wrong! By my count there were 3 or 4 montages, and as the night goes on, the crazier and crazier things begin to get, and you immediately begin to notice the changes in the montages as the night flies by. 

I really did love this film. It had everything I hoped for and even more. The stuff in trailers is just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many more perverse things that only Todd Philips would be able to deliver upon. This film had those moments where we as the audience would break out in laughter, scream all at the same time, and even applaud at the shock and awe moments that were thrown in our faces without our permission, which made it that much better.

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Why SSX Needs Traditional Multiplayer

When I was playing the SSX demo all last week I was having a blast, trying to best my own times and scores, and more importantly, trying to beat my friends times and scores. Anyway I looked at it I was going to buy this game. I still remember back on the PlayStation 2 playing Tricky for hours on end without breaks. Having friends over and kicking each other’s asses, it was good times.

I wasn’t going to buy this game just for the single player, although the single player is very good on its own. But I want to jump into a multiplayer lobby with my friends and show them that I could get 20,000,000 points with ease in mere minute, then I would get up and do a victory dance in my underwear. Come on don’t deny it, we all do it from time to time.

EA Canada though it would be a good idea to remove the “traditional multiplayer” experience from the game almost completely. Instead you can race or compete for the highest trick score or the best track time on you own time. In short, it is a greatly extended single player experience with amped up leaderboards, no lobbies, no screaming at each other (or a complete stranger) over xbox live, you just jump in, throw down, and jump out.

When the event is over it tallies up all the times or scores and gives you a payout of credits that you have earned. You can’t actually compete with someone in real time online, or even worse, your friends…assuming you have any.

It’s actually pretty funny the way EA sold this title by saying that this SSX was to feature an almost groundbreaking new multiplayer experience. In fact it kind of blew back in their faces as a great number of fans, myself included, really can’t stand the idea of not being able to play with their friends in real time. Which is why I now point the soon to be open side of the yogurt away from my face.

Now I’m not saying that I am going to boycot the game or anything just for that one reason, however, this title is in serious need of a patch in the very near future to add traditional multiplayer to the mix.    

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