Clearly Comics: Deadpool Kills The Marvel Universe

Hey everyone, Joe here, and I'm going to be bringing you a little bit of nostalgia each week from the comic world. In Clearly Comics, I will be reviewing completed storylines, graphic novels, trade paperbacks, and other Comic-character related mumbo jumbo that has captured the attention of many readers, listeners, and viewers all around. I'm going to cover new stories, old stories, stuff you can see on the big screen, and some other things you can enjoy in the comfort of your own home. Stay tuned while I take a look back on some of the most memorable graphic novels and movies, all comic book related, starting with Watchmen, Kingdom Come, The Avengers, and The Infinity Gauntlet.

This week, as a bonus, I'm going to review the recently finished mini-series "Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe". This book was flying off the shelf at my local comic book store, and I was one of the lucky customers to grab all 4 issues. Well, lucky in that sense, at least.

The "____ Kills the ____ Universe" is the ultimate in What If storylines. They're never canon (Since, you know, the company behind it would have to start all over) and really capture people's interests in the most epic of fantasy fight match-ups. This time around, Marvel has decided to capture the assassin skills of Deadpool, the comedic Merc with a Mouth that most of us have grown to love and hate in his most recent re-debut in X-men Origins: Wolverine. Deadpool has a regenerative healing factor, is aware he is a comic character, has multiple personalities (voices in his head, actually), and an efficient way to carry to out every single one of his plans. As such, Marvel has milked this character for all he's worth over the last few years, including movie possibilities, and many comic issues (Deadpool, Deadpool Corp, Deadpool MAX, etc). They've continued milking this character by giving him a comic series dedicated to his assassin/killing skills.

And I, for one, hated it.

Now don't get me wrong, it had a strong start, but there were many things I did not like about the book, and by the start of issue #2 I was massively disappointed. Here is a basic plot summary, because believe it or not there is a subplot beyond "kill everyone".

Deadpool was taken to an asylum by the X-men, admitted in almost immediately, straightjacket and all. Unbeknownst to them, they had left Deadpool in the caring hands of Psychoman, who succeeded in quieting Deadpool's prominent voices in his head, leaving a dormant 4th voice to rise up and drive Deadpool to kill everyone with a power or ability. His ultimate goal is to find the Nexus of Realities, a gateway to which he can jump between dimensions and continue his killing to no end. The story ends with a cliffhanger, as Deadpool jumps into the reality we, as readers, live in, and happens to arrive at the writer's meeting as they discuss writing the page that you are reading. What Deadpool does, is up to your imagination.

Now for the part I was disappointed heavily with: The Killings. There were some that made "sense", and by that I mean they were well thought out and explained perfectly. There were some that after seeing it I had to go "Wait that's it!?" or "What!? No...". And lastly, there were some that were killed off screen and we were deprived of the creative thinking that the writers should have delivered. I feel that with this particular series, we are all drawn in by the wonder of how Deadpool is going to accomplish these feats. Here are the character deaths in these books:

Issue #1 began with the death of the Fantastic Four.
The Thing- shown as being a bunch of rocks and dust. We're not sure how he got to that state, but he is dead.
Reed Richards/ Mister Fantastic- shown dying in Sue's arms. He plasticity is wearing off and he is literally melting. We're not sure how this came to be, but being one of the top minds in the world, I find this scenerio incredibly difficult to believe.
Susan Storm/Invisible Woman- after killing Deadpool, she temporarily forgets about Deadpool's healing factor and is blindsided with a stab.This death is the first one that "makes sense".
Johnny Storm/Human Torch- After crashing into the Baxter Building, Deadpool decapitates him.
The Children, Valeria and Franklin Richards- Stuck in the Negative Zone indefinitely.

After this episode, we are brought into a flashback. Aside from the plot advancement, we learn that Deadpool has killed Psycho Man by smashing his tiny body repeatedly into a table, and has killed all of the inmates in the asylum by burning it down. The issue ends by Deadpool sneaking in on the Watcher, decapitating him as well.

Issue #2 is where I start to lose my faith in this series. Right off, we're given off-panel deaths. This, to me, is a cop-out and lack of creativity. We see the dead bodies of Ghost Rider, Dr Doom, and Howard the Duck, and are alluded to the idea that Deadpool has killed Hank McCoy, AKA The Beast, through context. Afterwards, we are shown a bout with Spider-man. Spider-man is killed by a gun to the head, after repeatedly dodging Deadpool's swords, he is blindsided by his overconfidence in his spider-sense.

The next big death comes to most of the Avengers. The ones accounted for in the room are Iron Man, Captain America, Ms Marvel, Spider-woman, Hawkeye, Wolverine, Thor, Luke Cage, and Jarvis. After revealing Hank Pym is missing, Wolverine sniffs out explosives; Deadpool used Pym Particles to shrink explosives in, wait for the right moment when they were all in the room, and used Pym Particles to grow them and kill everyone except for Luke Cage and Thor. On the same note, Hank Pym's bloody and dead body can be seen expanding with the explosives, indicating Deadpool having gotten to him first. When the smoke clears, Luke Cage is confronted by Deadpool who indicates having put shrunken bombs in the coffee and expanded them at that moment, killing the coffee-drinking Luke Cage. Thor is shown next, and sends Mjolnir at Deadpool. Deadpool kicks Mjolnir, which returns back to Thor, and while it does it is shot with the last of the Pym Particles, making Mjolnir gigantic and crushing Thor. Thor is killed when Deadpool holds Thor's nose and cuts off his air-supply.

The final death in this issue is the Hulk. How creatively do we kill the Hulk? Apparently not at all, as Deadpool does the same thing everyone else has in a What If? series- gotten the Hulk tired and calm, returning to Bruce Banner form, and killing Bruce Banner while taking a nap.

Issue #3 is slated as being the X-men issue. Like the previous issue, we're given another page of off-screen deaths. Venom, Multiple Man, Green Goblin, and Power Pack have all be killed with little to know confrontational details.

We officially start the issue by killing the X-men in front of Charles Xavier. First Deadpool hits Cyclops with a red goo that begins hardening around his head. As Cyclops begins to charge his optic blast, the now red ball begins to expand and then explode; it kills himself, Emma Frost, Cannonball, and Pixie. In another room, Colossus, Rogue, and Gambit are fighting off walls that are closing in until Deadpool turns on high-powered electricity to fry them. Deadpool turns to Professor Xavier, allowing him access into his mind, only to have Xavier cower at what he's seen in there and go brain-dead.

Deadpool then begins to, once again, give us off-panel summaries of what he's done. He's trapped Magneto in a room of green acid in a jelly state. Kitty Pryde, Shadowcat as she's more known....well I'm confused. He put her in a box comprised of fun-house mirrors, but even if she can't tell where she is, I'm not sure why she couldn't phase through "everything". Regardless, Deadpool has indefinitely incapacitated her for what it's worth. At this time, Wolverine makes a return, having survived the Avengers blast with his healing factor.

Wolverine is greeted by Arcade, apparently the reason for Deadpool's various contraptions, and kills him to put him out of his misery. He then finds Daken, his son, and X-23, his female clone, strung up and set to die by flamethrowers triggered by their healing factors. Deadpool makes an entrance, wearing the fur skin of Beast (and again, another off-panel non-confrontational kill!) and attacks Wolverine. Deadpool wins this one-page fight, having used a special Carbonadium sword, which prevents Wolverine's healing factor, and decapitates Wolverine.

The last pages of this issue....Yup! You guessed it- MORE OFF-PANEL DEATHS! As Taskmaster works to uncover Deadpool's motives and stop him, he stumbles into the sanctuary of Doctor Strange, we see his bloody body pinned to a table, with Wong's body thrown to the side of the room with a detached head.

Issue #4 continues our trend off screen and minorly detailed events by beginning with a simple panel of heroes and villains facing off, with a third-party announcer declaring that they have all gone psycho due to the fear of being killed by Deadpool. There has also been a gathering of other heroes and villains at the top of a building, ready to leap to their deaths in suicide for the same reason. Among the characters fighting we can clearly see Walkyrie, Black Widow, Black Knight, Shocker, Doctor Octopus, Hitmonkey, Iron Fist and Dragon Man, as well as two other characters I couldn't really identify for one reason or another. Additionally, we're shown a Daredevil, with his clubs sticking out of his eyes, slamming headfirst into the ground. It truly is a pity that we only got to see the end result and not the scenes that forced this outcome. Among the suicide victims, which Daredevil may or may not have been the first of, we can make out even less characters. From the line-up, and from what the Punisher has zoomed in on through a Sniper Scope, we can see The Kingpin, Nick Fury, Bullseye, Jigsaw, Black Tarantula, and 11 total unidentifiable (at least to me) characters.

Here's where the story actually picks up- Punisher spots Deadpool through his scope, takes the shot, blowing off his head. Rushing to get there, he only finds the Puppet Master, now with a quarter of his head missing, dressed as Deadpool with a bunch of puppets on the ground. Deadpool sneaks up behind Punisher, complete with limited edition Frank Castle voodoo doll/puppet, and forces the Punisher to blow his own head off. Deadpool then tells the lifeless body that Puppet Master has given him some "other" special puppets, to which we're given yet ANOTHER off-screen death scene. This time around, the characters you know could've have stood a chance- the Cosmic Beings!? We can clearly see the likes of Nova (well, his helmet), Thanos, Gladiator, Silver Surfer, and the mangled body of Galactus in the background.

The scene shifts back to Earth, where Taskmaster has finally approached Deadpool in a swamp. The two square-off, finally giving us an action scene that last more than a page. Taskmaster begins to perfectly mimic Deadpool, even gaining access to the voice in Deadpool's head. By that time, Taskmaster is able to fully deduce Deadpool's plan, which brings him great fear, and unfortunately attracts the being none other than Man-thing. Man-thing grabs and explodes Taskmaster's head.

In a short conversation, Deadpool convinces Man-thing to sacrifice his body and power and allow Deadpool to travel through the multiverse of universes, eventually ending up in 'our' universe outside of the comic writer's studio as they write what is going on in that page. The rest is left to our imagination.

So that's all- and might I say actually reading the comic was an eyesore. I mean, look at this image above. It may not be clear, you might have to google one that you can zoom in on to fully grasp just how many characters are in the Marvel Universe, and even knowing maybe HALF of their powers you feel jipped out of amazing story. Many of the characters featured in the issues were given one-panel deaths, all of which had already occured so they were mere re-caps of what had already happened. It's safe to assume that anyone not accounted for in the series was simply cut up as a doll created by Puppet Master before he was killed.

So what do I have to say about this series? I give it a 3/10. Some of the ideas, good. Most of the ideas, expected. All of the potential ideas, missed. It's something that should have had a lot more planning and alot more detail to just how Deadpool accomplishes killing the Marvel Universe.



We would like to thank our Local Comic Shops for always providing us with the current issues of comics and wide assortment of Graphic Novels. We would like to personally thank Blu Planet Comics & Games of Massapequa, NY, and The Comic Book Depot of Wantagh, NY. We hope to further cooperate with these stores in getting exclusive interviews, supplies, and to hold other possible future events!

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Interview with James Lovegrove Pt 1.

You have probably seen by now some of my reviews of books by English author James Lovegrove.  Lovegrove’s books I happened upon by accident finding them in my local book store and I fell in love with all of the books of his I have read so far.  I was lucky enough to get an interview with the one and only James Lovegrove.  I have reviewed several of his books on Geek Asylum but in case you had forgotten his writings include The Age of Ra, The Age of Zeus, The Age of Odin, Age of Aztec, Redlaw, and the upcoming The Age of Voodoo.  Mr. Lovegrove and I spoke on all sorts of varied topics from his Pantheon Series, to Redlaw, to a new project of his and then questions everyone loves, random.  So without further ado let’s get started with the interview!

Geek Asylum: What made you want to start to write the Pantheon Series?

James Lovegrove: Its funny believe it the publisher Solaris got in touch with me and said “look we’re looking for new books do you want to write us an alternate history book?”  I said “great” and I sent them three ideas I can’t for the life of me remember what the other two ideas were.  The middle one was for The Age of Ra it was for a story set where the Egyptian gods had been in charge for about a century or so.  They liked the idea so that’s basically where we went and got started.

GA: When Solaris asked you to do that book and they agreed to that one did you expect it to get as big as it did?  It seems you’re already up to the fifth one in the Age of something.

JL: Yea the The Age of Voodoo is the fifth one.

GA: Did you expect it to become the initial trilogy of Ra, Zeus, Odin, and then it become something that you do every year?

JL:  Haha, like most things I do in my life and career I had no plan whatsoever it just sort of evolved.  I think John Oliver who is the chief commissioning editor at Solaris said “we like this book have you thought of doing this with different pantheons?”  That had kind of been in the back of my mind so I said “sure” because if nothing else I am a professional career literary whore I will do anything anyone asks me to do as long as they are going to pay me.  It seemed interesting because the Greek Pantheon is my favorite it is one I’ve loved since I was a kid.  I loved reading the myths, Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Tanglewood Tales, retelling the old stories, and the old Ray Harryhausen movies like Jason and the Argonauts.  I loved that, just grew up loving that.  I studied Greek as a language and a literature as a language in school until I was about 17 I’ve really become infused with it so that was why I really happy to do Zeus.  After that I was looking around and said “all of these great pantheons have all of these great stories and mythologies and the gods are like these weird dysfunctional families.  The plan is I’m going to do six, with three novellas then I’m going to call it a day.  I think that that point I might have exploited it as far as I can.

GA: Heh I saw from just reading the first four, I haven’t been able to get to the novellas yet after discovering they were on eBook.  What I have seen is we have ancient mythology meets modern or even futuristic warfare in an epic science fiction story and I always was into What Ifs? Or alternate histories genre where did you develop the idea to make these stories about that specific science fiction war genre and find a way to keep each one uniquely different?

JL: Well it just kind of happened.  I’ve never written military SF (science fiction) before and as with all things I figured let’s just give that a shot and see if I can do it and I surprised myself and really quite enjoyed it.  I was looking around for sort of new genres and avenues to explore and I found that I quite enjoyed doing it.  As for making them all different I have a very short attention span and I couldn’t do the same thing over and over I would get terribly bored so this was a way for me to keep it fresh and to also keep it fresh for the readers.  So they come to it knowing there is going to be a certain element.  The warfare, the mythology, the gods but they don’t know what the mix will be each time. 

GA: One of the things I particularly liked was that each one I had an idea of where it is going but you don’t need to read them in order of release to understand what is going on, you aren’t thrust into the middle of a ten book series where each previous one is vital to understanding what is happening in the current book.

JL: Absolutely I’m the same way.  If I read a book and a year or two later the sequel comes out I find it hard to catch up because such a long period of time has passed so it was a deliberate decision to make each one stand alone and make each one different from the others while keeping them similar at the same time.

GA: I have to say from what I’ve seen it has worked quite well.

JL: Well thank you for saying that, I do my best.

GA: Which one of those is your favorite both in to write and which Pantheon because I know you said you liked Greek but once you delved more did you find yourself having a new favorite?

JL: I have to say I don’t like playing the game of which book is my favorite because each one I enjoyed for a different reason.  The Age of Zeus I enjoyed because it was the Greek mythology which as I already said was my personal favorite mythology.  But I like The Age of Odin because it was so easy to write.  Once I got the guy’s voice because it is a first person narrative, it came pouring out and I really enjoyed doing that and it was something that I enjoyed because it was something I haven’t done before, write a book in a first person voice.  Each I’ve enjoyed for different reasons.

GA: That’s great.  I can see each one has a feel to it, you can see you enjoy doing each one in the writing.

JL: It comes back to attention span I couldn’t do the same thing over and over.  I find sequels very hard to do.  I’ve done it in the past and I’m doing it now with Redlaw.  I had to find a new way into it so I’m not just doing the same thing over and over.

GA: Yea it keeps you fresh too. 

JL: Yes exactly if I’m fresh then the book is fresh.

GA: On Geek Asylum I’m doing to be doing a column called Fantasy Fights where I take two characters from two various Geek related device be it from TV shows, anime, comic books, movies, books, or other genres and seeing who would win that fight.  So based on that out of all of the Pantheons you’ve written about including Voodoo if they were to all meet in one epic throw down who do you think would come out on top?

JL:  Well first of all I’m looking forward to reading your column because that is a great idea to see who works and who doesn’t.  For my own point of view I have to say the Egyptian Pantheon in the Age of Ra I do have them wiping the floor with the other Pantheons prior to the action in the book.  So it is the concept of the book is that there has been this great series of conquests in the world of the gods and the Egyptian gods have completely taken over and won that by destroying the others.  There is basically a family of four the core of that pantheon who’s names escape me at the moment, but they’re the ones that do all of the heavy lifting.

GA: Those were the seniors of the pantheon, the ones all of the Egyptian gods answer too?

JL: That’s right yes.  That being said it would be fun to have sort of smack down between the Aztec gods and the Greek gods because they all come with their sort of power sets and everything.  It would be like the Avengers and the Justice League.  You would have all sorts of fun pitting the different types against one another or the similar types against each other.

GA: That could always be good because if you take two people who are thunder related or opposites like fire vs. water just to see who would come out on top.

JL: Someone had suggested on my blog that I do one last book where it is just a complete free for all, with all of the gods going up against one another just as they are doing with Avengers vs. X-Men at the moment.  I think it would be fun but it might be a bit of hard work.

GA: It might be a little bit much especially figuring out how to figure out how to put all of those universes together because each one is its own individual world and putting them together would be one giant conglomerate smack down.

JL: And what happens to all of their respective worshipers.  Some of the gods (in each book) still have worshipers and others don’t because they have fallen into decay and are forgotten.  Does that make a difference?  Also do you bring in all of the big guns like Yahweh, and Allah and what about those?  Do they come along stamp their feet and destroy everything?

GA: True, very true.  Which one of the group leaders, and we can base that of who is on the cover of each book Ra, Zeus, Odin…I feel terrible not knowing how to pronounce this Aztec’s god’s name. 

JL: I didn’t know it either until I looked it up, its Quetzalcoatl (Kay-so-coat-al-a)

GA: Ah ok.  I think I pronounced it four different ways in general conversation just changing it each time. 

JL: There is a reason we didn’t put his name on the cover of the book partially because it wouldn’t fit and partially because nobody could pronounce it.  Marketing said let’s just go with the word Aztec instead.

GA: We can throw in Baron Samedi in there as well.  The question comes down to which of the leaders of these gods would win a smaller scale fight?

JL: I have to say it would be Zeus.  He can kick around with the thunder bolts, take out Thor and others for that reason probably Ra as well.  He would come out on top he is an old campaigner who has been around for a while and he would fight dirty.

GA: He is definitely a dirty fighter.  Speaking of people like Samedi and the Age of Voodoo since it is all finished and ready for release.

JL: Actually it isn’t quite finished yet I still have about 50 or 60 pages left. 

GA: So you are in the home stretch.  You’re at the part of the book where when I get to that spot I need time to finish because I won’t want to put it down.

JL: Exactly that is the precisely the point.  It comes a point where the momentum takes over and you are just sort of racing towards the end where you don’t want to rush it but you want to find out the end.  It is sort of a nice place to be and it is also quite stressful because you have to tie it all together but somehow everything always works out.

GA:  I think that the worst or best for me is the Age of Zeus because once they got to the part where they were on the edge of Olympus and the final charge was on there were over 150 pages left and it is just non-stop action so I just had to keep going.

JL: That was my intention.  That book made me say “this is getting to long, this is getting too long” because it is by far the longest one of the series.  I was thinking I have to get my foot on the pedal and get going towards the end, but that all comes back to what I was saying earlier about it being my favorite there was so much I wanted to get in there without leaving anything out.  I had to make sure I had to keep the action taking over because there were plenty of monster attacks.  The idea of men on a mission format where you have 12 people and you know that not all of them are going to make it to the end of the story, and there is the tension of who is going to go next and how are they going to go.  You saying you raced through the last 150 pages is the highest compliment anyone can pay I’m pleased that is how it was. 

GA: I dedicated half of the morning to finishing it.  I made others read it and I told them I know it is a long non-stop action book and it doesn’t read that way and you will get through this quickly and she ended up loving it.  Someone else I know read Ra and he ended up liking that book a lot as well. 

JL: I’m glad people like my books when you lend them out.  Going back to Voodoo and the question.  It is a man of a mission book again.  What I’ve done with this one is that I played it reasonably straight is that it is set in our world and not alternate history.  I tried to be as true and accurate to Voodoo as I possibly can because as you know Voodoo is still a religion that is practiced by many, many people.  At the same time though I took liberties with it so it makes a good story with good guys and bad guys and Baron Samedi is definitely the bad guy in the story.

GA: He always is the bad guy. 

JL: He usually is yes, but then again he is not just about death and graveyards.  He is also the god of sex an orgies and drinking he is kind of that duality.  That is why on the cover he is wearing a pair of sun glasses but one of the lenses is missing which helps show there are two ways of looking at things the light way and the dark way.  I think that is embodied in Baron Samedi.

GA: He is definitely the type of guy that goes both ways of being light and dark because you can’t be the god of life, parties, sex, and orgies and be all bad.

JL: Haha exactly.  Voodoo isn’t strictly a pantheon like the others.  Voodoo is a monotheistic religion with god at the top and the lower are all of the spirits and saints.  They are sort of like angels that intercede between humans and god.  It is fascinating really I didn’t know much about it before writing it much like the other pantheons with the exception of the Greek one until I start getting into the research.  The research is always interesting because that is what leads to what type of story I’m going to be writing.  That to me is the exciting part when you just start to see what kind of story is coming to take shape and what you can use and what you can cherry pick to make things interesting.  But Voodoo is still an action driven adventure novel with a group of Navy SEALS in the middle of it.  There is one guy who is a British network specialist who is sort of an assassin for the British government who finds himself in the middle of a group of Navy SEALS who are tasked with dealing with paranormal problems sort of solving them all around the world.  It is sort of a mix of the two and there is a clash between the two the way he (British assassin) operates and they (Navy SEALS) operates as they head out on this mission which involves Voodoo and various things related too Voodoo.

 GA: Well you have my interest already.  Out of the other four which I didn’t want to spoil on your website, but I reviewed most of these books so far on The Geek Asylum so I can spoil it here.  Each gods have their own little set of quirks.  In the Age of Ra they are world conquerors who took over the world, Age of Zeus they are genetically enhanced men, Odin they are like regular people who are stronger and have various power sets to them, and Aztec they are aliens.  Honestly in Aztec I thought they were just complete myth, but worshiped in a way that controlled the world but then you introduced the actual gods in that book so I realized these gods are going to be real as well.  Obviously there are so many options and ideas you can have and the Voodoo god and corresponding spirits are going to have their own relationship with humanity.  Anything specific for the origin of these gods other than what we just previously covered?

JL: No pretty much these are going to be treated as real spirits and entities who interact with humans and each of them have their own characteristics and personalities.  I will sort of play around with that for a bit.  This time I’m playing it straight to see how that works.

GA: I’m sure it is going to be great and like you said keep things interesting for both yourself and the reader.  Readers can definitely tell when the author is interested in his/her work as opposed to just writing for the pay check.  

JL: Oh yea definitely and I as a reader myself can tell when the author loses interest or doesn’t quite know what he or she is doing.  As long as I’m excited about an idea, and it is hard to stay excited about an idea over the course of 4-5 months it takes to write a book then at the same time though I think I’m creating something here that is new and that is the exciting part and I want it to be a different so it can be as interesting as it can be.  Again that has to do with having a short attention span. 

 GA: That is great keep it fresh keep us happy and you at the same time.  Moving on to the novellas, Age of Anansi, Age of Satan, as I saw on your blog plus the untitled.  Before I go any further do you know who that third is going to be about just no name.

JL: No idea whatsoever.  I’m going to probably be doing it sometime early next year.  I have some time to think about it.  With the novellas they are eBooks for the moment but they are going to be collected in an anthology next year probably called the Age of Godpunk.  It was coined by one of the editors at Solaris a line editor David said we should stick the word punk on the end of a word and it becomes a new genre, but we did it for fun.  So yea the Age of Godpunk will be Age of Anansi, Age of Satan, and one other.  I think the plan is each of these are all sort of different they aren’t military SF they are more fantasy based, but they allow me to go off track and it is only a novella so you can play around a bit more and be more experimental and have more fun.  That is the plan behind those.  I still love writing them and I hope they are readable and fun and they are slightly lighter hearted as well.

GA: Sometimes doing something a different pace is always a good thing which is why it can be difficult to read the same author over, and over, and over because you know even doing different books they are going to have similar styles to themselves.

JL: Absolutely that is it and I like to mix it up a bit which is the same reason I write books for children and teenagers it is another palate to explore.  Keep the novelty going.

GA: Do you have any idea who is going to be that big number six to finish the second Pantheon trilogy?

JL: Yea we are thinking Age of Shiva going towards the Hindu pantheon and write sort of a super hero story.

GA: They would probably be a good choice for super heroes in a pantheon.

JL: I just sort of dipped into the mythology but they all seem to be kind of super heroes.  I remember reading a long time ago someone showed me an Indian comic which was retelling the myths and for all intents and purposes it was a super hero comic with just blue skinned gods instead of Superman or Captain America and I thought I could do something with that.  I haven’t sat down and done the homework and done a synopsis yet but the editor John and I are pretty sure we are going with Age of Shiva.

GA: That would be good too because it is also a widely practiced religion so it must be difficult at times to have a story where your telling a fictional story about a currently worshiped religion without insulting the worshipers. 

JL: Exactly and it is going to be tricky and I hope people will see it is going to be fun and as true to the mythology as I can.  I don’t want a billion Hindu’s or whatever it is angry with me.

GA: Let’s wrap up the Pantheon book set and move on.  Is there anything else you want to add about any of the books or any teaser you want to share?

JL: I really can’t think of anything.  After finishing the first three I was  thinking I’m not going to do anymore of these, but Solaris was saying “you should do more of these” so at that point I thought maybe I should.  I might not call it a day after six.  There is still the Chinese mythology, the Celtic myths but I will just have to see.  Most likely take a break for a year or two.  As we are going to discuss later I have a couple of other projects lined up to fill that gap.

GA: Would you ever consider doing a book on one of the big three?  Judaism, Christianity, or Islam?

JL: The thing with monotheistic religions is that there isn’t the unity or family that you can play around with and you know in Christianity God is a single parent with one son.  In the family dynamic or team dynamic is what makes writing and reading this fun.  I think I would be crazy if I tried to tackle Islam.

GA: Especially with today the way some people in this world behave.

JL: We did make jokes about what an Age of Allah what the cover would be but those are just not going to be repeated.

GA: I wouldn’t even think to ask what your ideas were.  I think we can leave that type of cover to imaginations.

JL:  Speaking of the covers though and I know you know because we have talked about them they are fantastic.  I think they contribute a great deal to an overall feel of the books and making them appealing to the people.  Marek Okon does an outstanding job on these covers.

GA: Just fantastic work. Seeing the covers and reading the back of the books is what opened my eyes to the book and as the saying goes “don’t judge a book by its cover” is very true it should also be noted that a good cover is what can help catch someone’s eyes introducing them to a fantastic book

JL:  That is exactly what a good cover should do.  Covers do sell books there is no getting around that and a good cover should stand out on the shelf and it can sell the book.  A cover can be wonderful and be on a book that is utter crap.  That is just the way it is you shouldn’t judge a book by the cover but the cover is often times a good way of telling what is inside and what to expect you might like it just looking at the cover

This is part one of the interview with James Lovegrove covering the entirety of the Pantheon series as much as we can.  Next time we roll along we are going to be discussing things like Redlaw, other works by Mr. Lovegrove and of course random questions to make us all happy.  I just wanted to thank Mr. Lovegrove for his time and willingness to answer all of my questions.  For more on any of his books discussed here visit his website http://www.jameslovegrove.com/ I hope you enjoyed part one, and stay tuned for Part Two!

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Introducing: Geek Asylum "Fantasy Fights"

Superman vs. the Hulk, Captain America vs. Batman, Thor vs. Hercules, Cobra Commander vs. The Red Skull.  These are just some of the match ups we have all wondered who would end up winning.  Deadliest Warrior (R.I.P.) from Spike TV did just that with real warriors from Spartans to Navy SEALS to Samurai.  But the fantasy fighters from comics, video games, movies, manga, anime, television are all just left to arguing fans.  This is where I come in as an expert on these fantasy fights.  I have read countless depictions on the internet of who would win what and seen many comic books showing the fight and how it played out.  My biggest problem is though that these fights in comics are written to sell books.  Sometimes the fans vote on who the winner would be and other times they end up teaming up to fight the real bad guy.  How many times do we need Alien vs. Predator where the one of them (who is a monster alien who has killed people) turns out to be the kind of good guy and we cheer for him?  Freddy vs. Jason was guilty of this too making Mr. Jason to be the lesser of two evils.

I’m going to be doing a column and in my column I’m going to have a throw down between two or more evenly matched individuals.  These characters will be in a fight to the “death.”  I put death in quotes because I know some people will cry and yell saying “Batman doesn’t kill!”; which is true so to the death in this case means either actual death or incapacitation.  To be incapacitated means if the winner wanted to he/she could kill the loser and there would be no way to stop it. I am also going to be including at what power level each fighter will be at for this fight so I don't hear that "well do you mean King Thor or normal Thor?" or "which version of Cell do you mean?"

Now to let me explain how each one of these will work here it goes.  I will give what I’m calling a Brief Bio for each character.  These Brief Bios will explain what power set the character has, who they have fought in the past, and why they are suited for this fight.  After that we get our special Battlefield Conditions.  These conditions are set up by me to create the environment that best makes a fair match between the two and also sets the ground on why they are fighting.  Sometimes it is a just fight, other times a misunderstanding while other times it is two people trying to assert their authority. 

The fights will be conducted in a story fashion not commentary.  I will be writing up each match and posting it with my educated perception of who the winner would be of this epic match up.  I know I can’t please every fan boy and fan girl out there so let me say I understand all potential hate that could be coming my way and I expect it.  Remember I don’t have that crazy simulator where I can enter data and get results of over 5000 match ups.  I have to go on what I know.

So with that being said be on the lookout for my new regular column Fantasy Fights and be sure to tune and check out this column and make sure you read it each week.  If you agree with me and my analysis let people know, and if you disagree let me know.  Just remember at the end of each of these FIGHTS! Someone is going to have to FINISH HIM!

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WWE Raw Wrapup - 9/3/2012

CM Punk's quest for respect has taken a wicked tight left turn at the corner of face and heel.  How is he going to react, how is AJ going to respond, and how is Daniel Bryan's anger collage going to turn out?

Michael Cole is at the commentary booth next to an empty chair - Jerry Lawler's music hit as per normal, but he didn't come out before the show.  We then cut to Lawler and CM Punk brawling in the back and Punk being pulled away by four refs, only to boot The King of Memphis in the face, laying him out.  To open the show proper, the World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus heads to the ring.  Cole reiterates that Lawler was "sneak attacked" by Punk, even though the clip we were shown doesn't prove that, which is a terrible way to put things together.  Sheamus reminds us that we're in Chicago, and about two sentences in, the hometown hero WWE Champion interrupts.  Punk tells Sheamus not to talk to his people.  Punk says the people of Chicago relate to him, then asks how the crowd is doing tonight, receiving a warm welcome.  He then lets us know that Lawler attacked him from behind; Punk is the King of Chicago.  Punk gave Lawler what he "deserved" Chicago style.  Punk continues that the white knight John Cena came to the ring last week to save The King, getting a wave of boos from the Chi-town crowd.  Punk asks if he turned his back on the WWE Universe like Lawler said and gets a rowdy "NO" chant.

Punk says that helping Lawler means Cena agrees with him, which is disrespecting him.  Punk says that by disrespecting the WWE Champion, Cena is the one who has turned his back on the WWE Universe.  Sheamus has had enough and interrupts, saying that Punk has some nerve talking about disrespect.  WWE Champion or not, Punk interrupted Sheamus, so he's being disrespectful too.  Sheamus tries to goad Punk into getting in the ring, but Punk says he has nothing to do with the Great White.  Punk says that as World Heavyweight Champion, he's (at best) second best in the world.  Sheamus says Punk is talking out of his arse, so he may as well turn around so he can look at it.  This draws out General Manager AJ Lee to settle things down.  Tonight will have two main events - The number one contenders to the WWE and World Heavyweight Titles will face off, and we'll also have a Champion vs Champion match.  John Cena vs Alberto del Rio and Punk vs Sheamus, tonight!

Match 1:  Dolph Ziggler (Smackdown Money in the Bank Holder) vs Randy Orton
Winner:  Dolph Ziggler via pinfall

Vickie introduces Dolph as per the norm and lets us know that she will discuss her issues with AJ later tonight.  A stalemate on a shoulder block and a dropkick from Ziggler opens the match.  Orton grabs a headlock and then runs Ziggler over with a shoulder.  A leapfrog from Ziggler leads to another shoulder and a dropkick from Orton this time.  Orton hits the stomps around the limbs then kicks the chest of the Showoff.  Ziggler leapfrogs in the corner, but Orton grabs him for the top rope bounce suplex for two.  Ziggler pops up and punches away at Orton in the corner to regain a bit of steam.  Out of the opposite corner, Orton gets his hands up in the face of Ziggler, then tosses him to the floor.  The Viper pursues and throws Ziggler into the barricades, leaving him on the floor into a commercial.

Orton is still in charge as we return and elevates Ziggler for a big pancake, then mounts for punches in the corner.  Ziggler fights out of the follow up with a swinging neckbreaker; both men roll to the floor and Ziggler throws Orton into the barricade shoulder first.  Ziggler rolls Orton back in and covers him for two.  Ziggler gets to his feet and hits his jumping elbow for two again.  Now into a chinlock and Ziggler keeps Orton grounded, then does his headstand showoff.  Ziggler lands in a bridge, applying more pressure to the neck, then walks his way back into normal position.  Orton fights up to his feet, but runs into a knee.  Ziggler tries the jumping elbow again but comes up empty this time, leading to a slugfest.  Ziggler fights out of the corner and hits a running clothesline for another near fall.  Ziggler now climbs to the top rope, but Orton crotches him then strikes away.  Orton follows up top for a top rope superplex and covers Ziggler for two.  Both men are slow to their feet, but Orton is first - He hits two clotheslines and a powerslam, then tosses Ziggler to the apron, but the Showoff drops him neck first across the top rope.  Ziggler slides back in, but runs into an Orton backbreaker for two.  Ziggler pops up and hits his new jumping DDT, but Orton is out at two.  Ziggler tries the Namedropper, but ends up on the apron for Orton's spike DDT.  Orton coils for the RKO, but Ziggler shoves him off.  Orton hits his signature corner schoolboy, but Ziggler rolls through and grabs a handful of tights, which is good for the win.

Aside from the ending, a bit similar to Smackdown's match, but that's just more of a good thing - Ziggler's athleticism and Orton's intensity make for a great match.  Ziggler's bridging chinlock was a nice change up from the norm on a WWE mat.  Good stuff.

The Miz immediately comes out and walks past Ziggler, making his way to the commentary booth.  Apparently it's now Monday Night Miz.  Cole says that "the most talked about thing in WWE" right now is Daniel Bryan's Anger Management course.  Tonight, the group presents their anger collages.  Bryan gets volunteered to go first, and it's a paper with "NO" and "YES" scribbled all over it.  Kane is next and holds up a blank piece of paper.  Kane is asked how he feels inside and says he'll show us - He puts his paper in the trash can and does his fire summon routine, lighting it up.  Bryan calls him the teacher's pet.  Now it's time to talk about their families.

Match 2:  Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs Cody Rhodes and Tensai
Winners:  Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara

Rhodes and Cara start out and Cara's speed gets the best of Rhodes, with a handspring elbow off the ropes - The standoff leads to a quick commercial.  Tensai is in control as we return, bludgeoning Sin Cara in the corner, then tagging in Cody Rhodes.  Tensai hits a headbutt from the apron for good measure and this allows Rhodes to get a two count.  Rhodes ties up Sin Cara in a bow and arrow stretch mid ring, then Cara rolls out for a quick one count to counter.  Rhodes goes after the mask, then drops a forearm across Cara.  Tensai comes back in and hits Sin Cara with a short arm clothesline, then clubs him.  Tensai continues with a scoop slam and locks on a nerve hold.  Tensai is taking a lot of "Albert" chants from the Chicago crowd.  Cara fights out of a corner with boots and an enzuigiri, but Rhodes tags in, stopping the hot tag to Mysterio.  Cara makes the tag shortly after and Rey lays into Rhodes.

Mysterio takes to the apron and then the top rope for a diving senton for two.  Rhodes tries a school boy, but Mysterio rolls through with a low dropkick.   Tensai comes in to run interference, but Mysterio counters him and hits a 619, followed by a Sin Cara missile dropkick.  Rhodes hits a gourduster for two in the confusion.  Rhodes wants a powerbomb, but Mysterio counters into a hurricanrana and a 619, then tags Cara in to hit a Swanton Bomb for the win.

Sin Cara gets the pinfall, but Rey's music plays.  I never enjoy when they pull that bit.  Watching with someone who's still a bit of a new fan (my fiancee), I realize one of the key flaws with Michael Cole being a lead announcer and not having the straight man, the play by play man (such as Matt Striker) on the mic - Nobody learns what anything is called.  A bow and arrow stretch is pretty rare on WWE TV; why not teach the kids and the newer fans who might be older what it's called?  We all know it's a show, we all know it's planned, but we make a deal with WWE for hours every week - We'll suspend our disbelief and you make us feel like we're watching wrestling matches that matter.  If someone locks in a Kimura in UFC, they'll call it.  Why not grant us that same courtesy and try to bring us back into the illusion?

Back to Anger Management, it's time for work on trust issues.  Bryan and Kane are not participating in the hand holding exercise going on.  Space is made in the middle of the room and Kane and Bryan will be demonstrating a trust exercise.  It's the old "fall back and your partner catches you" trust exercise.  Bryan is the first to fall backwards, and he says he trusts Kane.  Kane catches Bryan as he falls back and stands him back up.  Now it's Harold's turn - Kane and Bryan will both catch him.  Harold hits the ground.  Bryan and Kane ask each other if they knew the other wouldn't catch him.  Bryan says he thinks he finally understands Kane.  This is great already and it's only going to get better.  Kane and Bryan for tag champs!

Match 3:  Sheamus (World Heavyweight Champion) vs CM Punk (WWE Champion) - Champion vs Champion
Winner:  No contest

So once again the WWE Champion opens the second hour of Raw.  This still leaves John Cena to main event.  Storyline or not, this is really out of hand.  Both champions practically jerking the curtain is unacceptable; it devalues the titles in ludicrous fashion.  CM Punk comes out in jeans and a t-shirt.  Punk grabs a mic and plays to the hometown crowd.  The WWE Champion says that Chicago respects him and his decisions.  Punk says that champ vs champ is a main event, not a mid-show trifle.  Punk says that in observence of Labor Day, he's taking the day off from work.  He tosses the mic to the mat and bails from the ring, bringing a chorus of boos from the Chicago crowd - Making a Chicago crowd boo CM Punk is quite a feat.  Sheamus grabs the mic and says that Punk is showing disrespect to his people by walking out.

Cut to Punk leaving the arena, stopped by AJ who says he can't leave.  Punk says to check his contract; he's taking a personal day.  Matt Striker asks AJ what she's going to do about her main event; she asks him who he is then says she'll find Sheamus an opponent. 

Alberto del Rio makes his way to the ring while Sheamus is still in it.  Jack Swagger's music hits next.

Actual Match 3:  Sheamus (World Heavyweight Champion) vs Jack Swagger, non-title
Winner:  Sheamus via submission

Now, this match would be interesting if the 262 lb Swagger was made to look at all credible in the last 12 months.  At the moment, he's entirely a joke and probably one of the most misused members of the roster, so there's no hint of Swagger having a chance against Sheamus.  Quick exchange to open and Sheamus takes control.  Sheamus quickly goes to the apron, then lands a top rope shoulder block for two.  Swagger hits the ropes and tags Sheamus with a chopblock for one.  Sheamus boots out of a corner and hits hammers and a corner shoulder, but misses the knee lift.  Swagger takes him up for a gutwrench, but Sheamus lands on his feet, wanting White Noise; Swagger counters then hits a Swagger Bomb for two.  Sheamus knocks Swagger down and locks in the Cloverleaf, which Cole says Sheamus has never used before.  This, of course, is patently false and Cole throws a verbal party for him using new moves.  It really makes you wonder if Cole does this garbage on purpose, or if he's just that bad at his job.  I feel it's the latter; again, this is where the play by play guy who knows his stats and such would be a huge asset to the show as a whole.

Del Rio attacks from behind and Ricardo runs interference.  White Noise on del Rio and Sheamus wants a Brough Kick.  Ricardo Rodriguez takes it instead as del Rio escapes.  Rodriguez sells the Brough Kick heavily and the doctor hits the ring; perhaps an angle leaving ADR without his usual backup to see how he does on his own without that crutch?

Aside from Cole's worthlessness as a mic-man, how come AJ didn't pick Ryback, who's been on a huge win streak instead of Swagger who is on a more consistent first-name basis with losing?  I mean, we know why, but that's still one of those glaring logic gaps we let slide on a regular basis without getting the favor returned to us in some fashion.

Match 4:  Eve Torres vs Kaitlyn
Winner:  Eve Torrest via pinfall

How does Eve have time to train and wrestle PLUS be Booker T's assistant?  Something doesn't add up!  Eve is all smiles in the ring, which matches her newly found attitude of being supportive of Kaitlyn and Layla.  Speaking of Layla, the Divas Champ is at ringside for commentary.  Kaitlyn trips Eve and hits a crossbody early, then locks in a headlock.  Kaitlyn blocks a hiptoss and hits one of her own, but Eve takes her down and punches her on the mat.  The ref breaks the catfight up and Eve offers a handshake, which Kaitlyn wants no part of.  Eve with an arm wrench and Kaitlyn gets away, but Eve hits a drop toe hold and a front facelock, then takes Kaitlyn over into a headlock.  Kaitlyn fights to her feet and Eve knocks her out of the air in an awkward fashion and Eve steps back while the ref checks on her.  Eve with a kick to the gut and her new neckbreaker for the win. 

Layla and Miz on commentary is WAY too much - The bickering is entirely distracting and draws attention away from the match.  Eve shakes Kaitlyn's hand after the match and rolls out to talk to Layla.  Eve wants to shake the hand of the Divas Champion as well, and Layla complies.  Eve heads out of the ringside area.  Obviously another facet of the "Eve is a manipulator" angle, but we'll see where it takes us from here.

Swagger is in the back and AJ catches up to him.  Swagger says he's taking "extended time off" because he's better than this.  AJ goes into a fit about people leaving her lately, dropping Lesnar, Jericho and Punk earlier tonight.  Swagger tells her he's sorry and leaves the arena.  Well, that's one way to break a pathetic losing streak.

Back to Anger Management and congratulations to everyone.  Daniel Bryan's closing words are full of thanks and willingness to give Kane a rematch from Summerslam.  Kane thanks Bryan and says one day he'll accept that challenge, doing his best not to eviscerate him.  Bryan takes exception to this and says it's hard to eviscerate when you're tapping out.  The rest of the group scuttles out and Bryan says he won't be intimidated.  The doc tries to break it up and Kane grabs Bryan by the neck - The doc goes ballistic, screaming that they don't listen and have learned nothing.  Hope something comes of all this.

Michael Cole says that during the commercial, he was informed that for Raw-Action tonight, the WWE Universe will Twitter-Vote on whether Kane and Bryan wrestle one another, tag together or "hug it out".

Matt Striker catches up with ADR for an update on Ricardo.  David Otunga steps out and says "no comment" at this time.  Oh good lord.

Match 5:  Jinder Mahal vs Ryback
Winner:  Ryback via pinfall

Ryback comes out in his new t-shirt, which doesn't exactly mesh with his character, but it says "Feed Me More" on it, so that's close enough.  Immediately, Chicago opens up with a "Goldberg" chant as Mahal tries an arm wrench on the big man.  Ryback casts him off and strikes away at him.  Ryback blocks an Irish whip, but runs into knees in the corner.  Mahal with a huge shoulder to knock Ryback down, but he answers with a huge scoop slam and a back body drop.  Ryback follows with a deadlift powerbomb.  Ryback hits the huge lariat and calls for the end.  Ryback hits Shellshocked and pins Jinder. 

Despite the "Goldberg" chants, the crowd is vocally behind Ryback, enjoying his catchphrase and dominating power style.  Ryback continues to take slightly more offense from people than in earlier matches, but we're still about where we have been with him.  Time for real forward movement.

Matt Striker catches up with AJ again and asks what she plans to do about the current goings on.  AJ says that Cena vs del Rio is falls count anywhere tonight.  No real logic behind why, aside from AJ losing her cool on the whole.

Daniel Bryan and Kane each make their entrance to the ring area to find out the fate decided for them by the WWE Universe via Twitter.  The results of the poll:  Hug it out.  Twitter, you have failed me in the gravest fashion.  Team Fire and Yes is over before it begins.  There's a referee in the ring to apparently officiate this hug; he's actually gesturing for them to meet mid ring.  This can't be in his jurisdiction.  Bryan gets into a Yes/No argument with the crowd as Kane remains stoic.  Kane and Bryan approach for a hug, but Kane backs off.  Next it's Bryan's turn to back off with another Yes/No argument.  A slight chest bump draws a boo from the crowd.  A repeat.  Bryan gets his arms around Kane, but Kane doesn't reciprocate; Bryan is extremely upset that Kane did not hug him.  Of note, a flash of a Briscoe Brothers "Man Up" t-shirt in the crowd during this was good for a laugh.  Kane finally hugs Bryan, but he didn't reciprocate this time.  Two separate halves of a hug does not a hug make, gentlemen.  Miz is reporting the rules of a "hug it out" as this goes on, which is fair enough, since we have a ref to enforce it.

A hug, finally!  Has Anger Management given these men a breakthrough?  Bryan offers a handshake and Kane accepts.  Slaps on the shoulders and Bryan is taking exception to the force which Kane does them.  Kane now gets shoved by Bryan and returns the favor.  Bryan says they need to cool it and shoves Kane again.  Kane shoves him back again and Bryan slaps him.  Now a fight breaks out.  Bryan wants the Nolock but Kane boots him in the face.  A low bridge from Bryan deposits Kane on the outside and Kane thrusts the throat of Bryan as he flies off the apron.  Kane now bounces Bryan off every surface he can find and throws a chair and Bryan into the ring.  Kane with a chokeslam, but not on the chair.  Kane wraps Bryan's head in the chair and heads to the top rope, which draws another pair of refs out to stop him.  Bryan recovers and whacks Kane with the chair, then gets the hell out of Dodge.

That was weird and awkward and entirely more entertaining than half the matches we see on Raw on a regular basis.  I would normally poo-poo that much time devoted to a non-match, but if it's going to entertain me, it's fine.

Match 6:  Santino Marella vs Antonio Cesaro (c), United States Championship
Winner:  Antonio Cesaro via pinfall

In an inset promo, Cesaro says "Success" in five languages.  Santino immediately slaps Cesaro, which leads to aggression, but Marella hits a drop toe hold and the diving headbutt.  Santino wants the Cobra, but Aksana hops to the apron, so he puts it away.  Santino hits the Cobra strike sans the puppet, which has no effect.  Cesaro hits armtrap headbutts and a deadlift gutwrench.  Cesaro stomps the Cobra puppet on the mat, then lays into Santino with elbows and short arm clotheslines.  Santino ducks the third one and dives for the Cobra.  Santino kicks Cesaro out and puts the puppet on, but Cesaro hits the ring, hitting the Neutralizer for the win. 

So Santino's current storyline is him and his sock puppet having relationship issues...and he's dragging the US Title into it.  Cesaro, make that the European title, be an effective heel and kick the bejeezus out of people smaller than you, just like you should be.  Please.

Match 7:  Zack Ryder vs Heath Slater
Winner:  Zack Ryder via pinfall

Slater with a quick shoulder block, but Ryder answers with a flapjack for one.  Slater with a big right hand and boots, then he air guitars Ryder in the head.  Slater continues with a big neckbreaker out of the corner for two.  Slater with elbows to the collarbone and more air guitaring, then a knee drop for another nearfall.  A chinlock from Slater and Ryder quickly gets to his feet; Slater grounds him again.  Ryder tries to fight out again, but Slater keeps the pressure on.  Slater rushes Ryder, but runs into double knees and a second rope missile dropkick.  Ryder hits a forearm in the opposite corner and then the Broski Boot.  Slater counters the Rough Ryder, but Ryder hits a facebuster and then the Rough Ryder after a quick turnaround.  

Good, straight forward match and most crowds love to see Ryder win and Slater lose.  More importantly, we get to see both men on Raw in a normal match.  Both should be moving up on the roster and it's silly that they don't. 

Vickie Guerrero immediately makes her way to the ring to interrupt and ruin Ryder's moment.  Vickie says she wants to address AJ and wants her in the ring now.  Tonight is not the night to mess with the Raw General Manager, madam cougar.  Vickie stages a sit-in midring.  She waits long enough that we head into a commercial.  Vickie starts her conversation before AJ even comes to the ring and says she's failed and it's time for her to leave.  AJ finally heads toward the ring and she is not skipping or smiling.  The Raw GM says she just got off the phone with the Board of Directors, who has lambasted her actions as of late.  She is not to put her hands on any superstar, manager or announcer moving forward.  She has also been asked to apologize.  AJ says she is sorry.  Vickie goads AJ, asking why she's apologizing.  Is it because she's inept?  Or to Vickie for her attacking her?  Vickie demands a direct apology.  AJ does so begrudingly.  Vickie calls the apology pathetic, wanting it to mean something.  AJ says she's sorry again and Vickie slaps her.  AJ can't strike back and has a maddened look in her face.  Vickie goes to leave, but returns to the ring to rub AJ's face in it a bit more, then slaps her again.  Vickie cackles and leaves the ring, then skips her way up the ramp, further mocking the GM.  AJ throws a fit in the ring, throwing the mic and the chair Vickie was sitting on, then strikes the mat with the chair, screaming.  AJ jettisons the chair up the ramp, then pounds the mat, screaming the entire time.  Maybe AJ should have joined Bryan and Kane in that anger management class.

So the Board of Directors is fine with a manager paint brushing the Raw GM twice, but no retaliation is to be accepted?  The Board of Directors is a bunch of a-holes if you ask me.  Also, after an outburst like that, how could they not rescind AJ's position immediately?  The Board is a terrible crutch that's been used for way too long in WWE when nothing else will make sense because the storylines have screwed up the chain of command so severely.

Match 8:  John Cena vs Alberto del Rio, Falls Count Anywhere
Winner:  Alberto del Rio via pinfall

Opening the match on TV, ADR hits a backbreaker, since the match started mid commercial.  Brilliant.  Alberto with a scoop slam for two and a chinlock.  Cena gets up to his feet and powers out of the hold, delivering a kick to the gut of del Rio.  They hit a double clothesline on one another and somehow make no impact.  Cena misses a haymaker and ADR with a Backstabber for two.  The poor Colons.  Alberto heads to the top rope, but Cena dropkicks him out of midair.  Cena right into the pair of shoulders and spin out bomb, calling for the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Cena connects and wants an Attitude Adjustment, but ADR grabs the top rope and drops Cena throat first across it.  Out to the floor now and Cena gets tossed into the steel steps.  ADR with a double stomp to the chest of Cena, then throws him into the barricade.  ADR wants to whip Cena into the other set of stairs, but Cena reverses the whip.  Del Rio hops over the steps, but Cena follows with a shoulder block over them for two.  Cena clears the announce table, but del Rio hits an enzuigiri from behind for his own two count.  Alberto cinches up for a vertical suplex onto the table, but Cena counters, wanting the Attitude Adjustment again; ADR lands on his feet and shoves Cena into the ringpost.  Del Rio has a chair in hand and swings for the fences, but Cena ducks, causing him to hit the ringpost with the chair.  Cena takes advantage and tosses ADR over the barricade.  Cena drags the stairs over toward the announce table.

Alberto gets to his feet, but Cena stays in charge, throwing him into the barricade again.  Cena lifts del Rio into a fireman's carry and walks up the stairs, wanting an Attitude Adjustment through the table.  Del Rio fights out and hits a belly to back suplex through the table instead.  Del Rio turns Cena over and pins him, but Cena is out in two.  Cena is rolled back into the ring and ADR grabs a mic, then gets in the ring.  He mocks Cena, saying he's beneath him, just like Chicago, punctuating with boots.  ADR says he's going to break Cena's arm and rolls into the Cross Armbreaker.  Cena rolls through the normal lock on and grabs the STF.  Alberto reaches for the mic he was just using and bops Cena in the head with it to break the hold.  Del Rio rushes Cena at the ropes, but he dodges, sending ADR careening to the floor, holding his knee.  ADR still has fight in him and lands a suplex on the steel ramp for two.  Cena fights back and throws ADR head first into the stage twice.  Cena grabs a speaker and lifts it up, but gets kicked in the leg, causing Cena to hobble around a bit.  They fght to the backstage area and Cena grabs a trashcan and throws it at ADR, missing.  Del Rio wants another Cross Armbreaker, but Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment onto a bunch of tool boxes.  CM Punk attacks from behind with a kick to the head and throws ADR on top of Cena for the win.

Punk lifts Cena onto his shoulders and gives him a GTS across a car hood.  Punk gets in the face of the number one contender and says "respect".  Gotta say, the GTS across an *insert object here* spot is a terrible one, since guys do that to each other on turnbuckles and tables on a far too regular basis.  Punk gets in the car he just tossed Cena onto and Paul Heyman is the man driving it.  I think we've all been waiting for this turn in the story for too long.

Now, that was an interesting episode of Raw.  Things move forward, things develop and Paul Heyman is back!  He may not have Brock Lesnar in tow after he "quit", but the WWE Champ isn't a bad addition to your stable.  Miz did a great job on commentary; if we had to make a criticism, his "mocking" voice got a bit grating at times and sounded childish, but aside from his spat with Layla, he was entertaining.

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