Geek Asylum First Look: The New iPad

Apple started the weekend big with the release of the brand new iPad. Critics have met this 3rd generation iPad with some mixed reviews. Some calling it a glorified iPad 2. Well I have a bit of a different tune for this tablet…

I had been holding out on the iPad for a while, waiting for better pricing and specs. Well I didn’t find better pricing this time, but what arrived to my front door today was a tablet worth the wait. The screen is probably the most impressive feature of the iPad. The sharpness and detail of the display is unmatched. I was instantly blown away by the colors and details as soon as I setup the new device.

The device has also upgraded in speed from the previously model. I found switching apps, loading apps and maneuvering around the iPad, extremely fast and responsive. I have yet to find any annoying delays with the device. Not being quad-core was a bit of a let down but the A5X processor seems to be doing its job very well.

Maybe it isn’t the upgrade that iPad 2 owners were looking for, and not entirely necessary for them to run out to the stores and purchase, but I believe this new iPad is worth the buy for the right user. Those looking for their first tablet, or an upgrade from the first iPad or older tablet, would do well with this device. The quick response of the tablet and the gorgeous display justify the purchase.

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The Evil League of Evil is Coming Back, So Beware!

The wait is finally almost over. It's been four years now and the fans of Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog are getting anxious for the second installment. And then, like a burst of effulgence shining through the dark clouds, we recieve good tidings of great joy. 

Writer/Director Joss Whedon says that there's one major obstacle to filming the movie. It has nothing to do with the songs because “we do have a number of songs written,” he said. “We have a whole outline.” It has nothing to do with the script writing either. So what's the issue? The simplest and most annoying problem to any team trying to get things done - trying to piece everyone's schedule together to do this. “We’re stuck, basically, at this one part in the process,” Whedon said. “All of us are looking at this summer as the time when we can go, ‘Hey, you know what? We’ve got a little free time, let’s get unstuck.’ Neil has been like, ‘How long?’ We’re all sort of just waiting, but the waiting will stop.”

If you have no idea what Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog is, I have no clue what rock you've been hiding under, but get out from under it and watch it. Watch it on youtube. Rent it from iTunes. I think it might even be available on Netflix (it was last time I checked). Featuring The Guild's Felicia Day, Firefly's Nathan Fillion, and the infamous Neil Patrick Harris, you will explode your pants with nerdy goodness. More updates to come as news comes in, so hang onto to your trousers, kiddies. It's about to get real.

Sources: Wired, imdb

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That Awkward Moment When...

Jay says to me one day, "Heather, I think I made a mistake..." I immediately knew what this meant. My friend Jay (real name hidden), has had a stalker come into our store for quite some time now. She's a bit of an airhead to say the least and when I met her, the only thing I could think was that she was a total space cadet. I gave Jay a look and said, "you didn't..."

"Yeah, I did." Long story short, I said, "So you're now dating... what's her name again?" A blank stare followed resulting in me staring back. "Jay, what is your girlfriend's name?" "Uh... Kate... Katherine.. Kathy? Kathy, I think." I never got an actual answer to what her name was, but bro, we feel your pain. It's stories like this that makes a great videogame and Atlus took that and ran with it. So what do we have? We have Catherine.

The game is a bit more than 8 months old, yet Catherine continues to be a top game for gamers. Even the box art draws guys and chicks alike - very suggestive, very minxy, very sexy - nothing more than the usual J-RPG. So what we have here is an instant hook, but thankfully Catherine delivers a lot more than a teasing blonde girl and a Tenchi Muyo-frantic male character featured on its cover.

The poor sod's name is Vincent who finds himself in an awful predicament after an oh-so-familiar scenario of getting drunk and waking up to some weird hot girl named Catherine. The fun doesn't stop there. Not only does Vincent have a serious girlfriend already, but he finds out that she's pregnant. And to make it more fun, her name is Katherine. Yup. Catherine and Katherine. At least he doesn't have to worry about saying the wrong name in bed, right? Talk about an awkward situation!

Since the first night he sleeps with Catherine, he starts to have terrible and freakish nightmares involving a complex puzzle to climb to the top of a block tower while something is usually chasing you the whole while. If you fall, you die, but if you make it to the top, you'll find yourself in a cathedral-style purgatory where you slowly figure out what's really going on.

And just when you thought that things weren't bad enough, you find out that it's not just happening to Vincent - it's happening to countless other young men around his age, but something different is happening to the other guys than what's happening to Vincent. This game is every bit fun, challenging, irritating, entertaining, sexy, immersive and interactive.

You can hang out with your friends at the local bar, The Stray Sheep, order drinks, and drink the night away while talking to your friends. You can talk to the locals and find out what's going on around town as well. You can also recieve texts on your phone (this is also where you'll save) and choose if you want to answer the phone or ignore it as well as choosing how to reply to texts, if you so choose to respond at all.

Your actions will determine how the rest of the game will play out - there are 8 endings, so choose wisely! I give this game two really huge thumbs-up. I suggest you add this on the Games-To-Play list, just in case you happen to run out of titles to choose from.

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DC Comics: "Flashpoint" Trade Paperback Now Available!

This is the Trade Paperback you want to get. If you see it in the book store, grab it. If you missed the opportunity, read it. If you have all the comics of the series, get it anyway- it'll get you a neat little package you don't need to ruin your comics for as you read it over and over and over...

DC's Flashpoint series was released back over the Summer of 2011, and if you missed the opportunity back then, make up for it now. This series is where the "New 52" kicked off from. The events of this series is what caused it all. Now's your chance, so don't wait around, get it! It was just released this past Wednesday, March 7th, as a Trade Paperback (Or Graphic Novel, depending on what you call them).

The basic premise is that the timeline has been altered and it's up to the Flash to travel through time to find out who is responsible. the Flash ends up in an altered timeline, where many things are different. Bruce Wayne is dead, having taken the bullet instead of his parents when he was younger, with his father as The Batman. Aquaman and Wonder Woman are enemies. Superman is a government project. Don't worry, the fun of this altered universe doesn't stop there!

Aquaman VS Wonder Woman...not only are they enemies, they get a wardrobe change too!

I won't spoil anything else- you should read it for yourself! The events of Flashpoint cause the release of the New 52, so get all of your answers in this Trade Paperback while you can! Flashpoint retails for $14.99 cover price, and is 176 pages of DC greatness! If you get hooked, don't worry- the Trade Paperbacks of the tie-ins will be coming out of the coming weeks as well, with the Wonder Woman, Batman, and Superman issues already hitting shelves.

Want to find it online? Search ISBN: 978140123338951499

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Marvel Comics: Thoughts on Norman Osborn

Norman Osborn. The Green Goblin. The Iron Patriot. Director of H.A.M.M.E.R.

If you haven't heard of him by now, where have you been? For those of you who don't know, Norman Osborn is the main archenemy of Spider-man under the monicker "The Green Goblin". Maybe you've heard of him, with green skin and purple clothes, you probably saw him on a glider throwing pumpkin bombs from a satchel at the waist. He was the villain in the first Spider-man movie, played by Willem Dafoe and sporting a green armor-costume.

[WARNING: SPOILERS POSSIBLE]

In recent comics he has been a member of the Thunderbolts, the driving force behind H.A.M.M.E.R. during the "Dark Reign" storyline, the mastermind behind the events of the Asgardian Seige and the Dark Avengers, and most recently the head of an alliance of HYDRA, AIM, and H.A.M.M.E.R.

His most recent stunt? Trying to make the avengers look like vigilantes. He does this throughout all three Avengers titles (The Avengers, New Avengers, Secret Avengers) by pointing out their flaws, having solved problems before the Avengers could arrive, and taking down the Avengers themselves. This storyline ended this week in Avengers #24.

Norman Osborn has also utilized a variety of resourceful tactics. Of course as the Green Goblin he has created his own tech, including pumpkin bombs, blades, and the glider itself. He also has enhanced strength and stamina due to his goblin serum, and amazing regenerative capabilities. It was believed for a while that he was dead, although he was just recooperating in Europe and appeared later in the timeline.

The most recent two ideas of Osborn came in the form of his own team of Avengers. The first incarnation had a variety of villains posing as a member of the Avengers, such as Venom posing as Spider-man, Bullseye posing as Hawkeye, or Daken posing as his father Wolverine. Norman gained access to Iron Man's armory, and took it upon himself to utilize a red,white, and blue armor and become the Iron Patriot. This costume came up during the Dark Reign storyline, and was used not only as propoganda to gear views towards his patriotic side, but was also a viable piece of weaponry to try and hunt down the heroes still in hiding. The armor was seized and presumably disassembled after the events of the Asgardian seige, where Norman was not only defeated but also put into a prison.

The second incarnation came when he broke out of the prison, enlisting Skaar as his Hulk, Trickshot as his Hawkeye, and Gorgon as his Wolverine. This incarnation lasted only 3-4 issues, but over all of the Avengers titles as his big return. During these issues he was able to showcase an increased strength, as well as a few other powers that surprised everyone who witnessed it.

The reasoning behind this was simple- he was made into a Super Adaptoid. This was revealed in Avengers #24, where he touched the Red Hulk and "hulked-out". Norman Osborn was quickly defeated, as many of the heroes touched him within a short time period and his body got overloaded and began to deteriorate. Presently, it was confirmed that Norman's body was not only a mess, but that he was in a coma as well.

Unfortunately, Norman Osborn is a repetitive failure. He always fails, and his partners and team-ups are all aware of this, making jokes of it mid-comic and planning around it. Because of this, Norman Osborn has been both a major threat and a minor threat. As a major threat, he is an individual that can become a villain against many heroes at once. Between his own talents and his own genius, he is more than a match for even a full team of Avengers, of which he's proved on several occasions. \

On the other hand, he is a minor threat in that, as we can see with Avengers #24 that he can be easily stopped in less than in an issue. If you read Avengers #24, you can see that his powers are not only revealed, the background of these powers are revealed, he showcases the extent of these powers, and he is defeated all in one issue, with extra pages to spare. As a quick review- That's all that Avengers #24 is. So aside from a collection, just move right into issue #25, because the only thing you need to know that Norman Osborn is in a coma and that HYDRA has reformed underground.

This most recent storyline I am disappointed in, and it feels rushed. Rightfully so, as any comic reader is more than likely waiting patiently for the Avengers VS X-men beginning next month.I feel that he was misplaced, because we should have really gotten a decent segue between what's happening now and how the battles begin. As the last story before a major arc like that, I'd have preferred Norman to surface after or even during Avengers VS X-men, and become a major threat, rather than a filler villain that he's been grounded to.

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DC Animated Movie: Justice League - Doom

Justice League: Doom is a new DC Universe animated film released just recently on DVD, February 28th 2012. There's a special edition coming out in April, but why wait- get it now and enjoy it.

So why write this article? It's just a movie, and a cartoon at that. It's based around the Justice League, and probably won't appeal to you unless you enjoy other features like these. Any other human being can tell you that you have two choices: Watch it, or don't watch it. I'm here to tell you my answer- Watch it.

You see, this fun little movie does several things. Let me start by giving you the plot summary, nothing with spoilers of course, but enough where if you neglected to read the back of the DVD case or Wikipedia you aren't at a complete loss.

In this film, the Justice League is hunted down and defeated one by one. While it seems impossible, these plans were made possible by Batman, who had devised these methods should any member of the Justice League go rogue and become an enemy. The problem here is that when a villain gets a hold of these plans, the Justice League are targeted and defeated. This animated film is a fair adaptation to the JLA storyline, "Tower of Babel", with some minor tweaks and changes for the film.

Cyborg. Where can you go wrong?

There's many reasons to watch this movie. Let me introduce the first: Victor Stone. The Cyborg. That's right, the Teen Titan. The newest member in DC's "New 52" Justice League series. If you don't know who Cyborg is, or if you want to see more Cyborg action than you did when reading the new Justice League comic, this is where you'll go. Don't be fooled by the childish character portrayed in the "Teen Titans" animated series, this Cyborg will leave even veterans to Comics going "Whoa."

Here's the second: The Justice League is defeated. I think it's safe to say that if you ever wanted to see this, watch it happen. You'll learn why, watch how, and see each member fight to their fullest because of it. If you aren't aware, this doesn't happen often, and you'll get to see each member bask in their own individual moment of glory as they fight.

Action. Lots and Lots of Action.

Here the third: It's a good movie. It has a good plot, a good beginning, a good middle, excellent climax, and an amazing finish. It's what you expect from a film, and not some cheap knock off where they take a few episodes from a series, cut the commercials, and ask that you enjoy. It's jam-packed with action too, so you're not going to be disappointed if all you are looking for is a flat out brawl. Sure- you'll need to know a little bit about Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter and the Flash; but let's be honest, who hasn't at this point?
 
Oh yeah- maybe you didn't catch that, but the Martian Manhunter is in it too! So if you're pre-New52 reader you get a nice addition to your collection to watch some old school heroes take on their classic villains, whereas if you're just getting into comics you get to watch the New 52 Justice League (plus Martian Manhunter) in action with the aid of Cyborg.

I give the film a 9/10. It's got everything you need, except for one minor flaw- It's animated. While it's always good to watch an animated film (and DC does some of their best work in animated features), it's a turn-off for many who see it as a children's flick. Now that you know better, pick it up. Get past the part where it's animated, and bathe in the amazing quality this film provides.

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WWE Raw Wrapup - 3/12/2012

Monday Night Raw – March 12^th, 2012

 

WWE was consistently counting down to Wrestlemania for a couple weeks straight; like so many things, that’s gone to the wayside.  By my count, we’re 18 days out.  Rock and Cena are scheduled to turn up the heat on one another via musical promo.  The rest of the Wrestlemania cast will have their parts in the show, but the bookends will be the non-title main event participants.

The show cold opens with credits and Jerry Lawler in the ring to introduce John Cena, out to cut his rap promo on The Rock.  Cena comes out in a classic Cavs jersey, backwards hat and chain around the neck – the old Thuganomics look.  He has a very stern face on as well; no silly smiling from him tonight and this is entirely a good thing.  Short of transcribing the rap itself, I’ll leave it said that, even as someone who didn’t particularly enjoy Cena in his rapper days, this was far more entertaining than anything to come out of his mouth in a long time.  Link to the rap can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_dpK88vSAY

As Cena wraps up, Vickie Guerrero comes out to explain that Daylight Savings should be illegal, since it robs the world of one hour of Dolph Ziggler.  For once, I kind of agree with WWE’s resident cougar.

Match 1 – Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus

Ziggler starts out with a bit of wrestling around Sheamus and playing to the crowd.  He sneaks behind and gives Sheamus a forearm to the back, and Sheamus answers by leveling Ziggler with a shoulder block.  Sheamus lands hard headlock takeovers, and leads to Ziggler strung up in the ropes for Sheamus’ signature forearms, but Ziggler scampers off the apron to escape and we head into a commercial.  As the feed comes back in, Sheamus lands a hard clothesline and ties on an armbar.  Ziggler fights out and attempts a hip toss, but Sheamus blocks and counters, hip tossing Ziggler over the top rope to the floor.  Ziggler slides under the ring and Vickie runs interference, allowing Ziggler to come out on another side and dropkick Sheamus in the back.  Back into the ring, Ziggler takes control and lands a neckbreaker for two.  Ziggler settles into a chinlock and we cut up to a skybox with Bryan and AJ, along with Josh Matthews.  Matthews probes the couple, asking AJ if Bryan was rude on Smackdown, telling her to “shut up”, which she sheepishly says wasn’t rude.  Bryan takes offense to the line of questioning and explains that “AJ loves me…and the feeling is mutual”.  This was line of the night.  Smarmy, egotistical heel taking a young girl’s love for granted.  Back in the ring (great communication from production to refs, I can only assume), Sheamus powers up to his feet and drops Ziggler on his back to escape the chin lock.  Sheamus goes into rage mode, hitting his axe handles and a clothesline, followed by a powerslam for two.  He sets up for the Celtic Cross, but Ziggler shimmies out, but eats a flapjack for a two count.  Ziggler sneaks to the apron, drops Sheamus’ throat across the top rope and attempts to jump off the top, but gets caught.  Ziggler counters into a crucifix pin, but Sheamus stands straight up, presumably for the White Noise, but the positioning was awkward, so he tosses Ziggler down to the mat.  Ziggler hits a Fameasser for two, and Sheamus lands a Brough Kick out of nowhere for the win.

Winner: Sheamus via Pinfall

Excellent match, great to get the energy in the crowd going for the rest of the night.  The finisher botch was handled incredibly well – instead of struggling awkwardly, Sheamus tossed Ziggler away, they reset and called an audible.  Kudos to both guys.   Sheamus continues to look strong heading into ‘Mania and Ziggler continues to contend with World Title contenders.

The long-expected multi-man tag match for control of both shows is made official: Team Teddy Long vs 

Team John Lauranaitis will be a 12 man tag match for General Manager-ship of both shows. 
Otunga and Santino will captain the teams.

Rewind to Smackdown with Long schoolboying Lauranaitis for the pin.

Mr. Excitement heads to the announce booth for the next match, a mixed tag.  Santino and Aksana enter, followed by David Otunga, with no partner in sight.  Johnny decides to change his mind – this will now be a handicap match, and Mark Henry is Otunga’s partner.

Match 2 – Santino Marella (United States Champion) vs David Otunga and Mark Henry

Long storms out as the match begins to get in Lauranaitis’ face.  Otunga is all over Santino to open.  Long shoves Ace over a chair and Santino begins to make a comeback.  Henry gets a blind tag, and Santino walks into a World’s Strongest Slam for the loss

Winners: Mark Henry and David Otunga via Pinfall

Otunga and Henry double team Santino after the bell, drawing Kofi Kingston out, only to walk into a World’s Strongest Slam.  R-Truth is next, ending up beaten up by both men, taking The Verdict from Otunga and a splash from Henry.  Lauranaitis announces Henry added to his 12 man squad.  Teddy has really picked himself some winners so far.

Miz guest stars on Psych this week, which WWE will remind us of multiple times tonight.

Part of Cena’s rap replays.  I understand this is a big part of the show, but it’s only been 30 minutes.

Zack Ryder happens upon Eve in the back.  Apparently Zack is playing himself and Eve wants to be friends with benefits.  Beth Phoenix is mad at Maria Menounos from Extra, because apparently she wasn’t on her show.  She propositions Eve concerning Zack, and Eve gets mad.  This is all ludicrous.

Miz busts into Johnny’s office and wants to be on Team Lauranaitis at ‘Mania.  James Roday from Psych comes in to back up Miz.  If Miz wins his match tonight, he’s on the team.  His opponent?  WWE Champion CM Punk.  Roday doesn’t seem to like Miz’s chances.  Always a vote of confidence when your buddy thinks you’re about to get your ass kicked.

Match 3 – Jinder Mahal vs Brodus Clay

Mahal attacks Clay from behind and gets a headbutt, a t-bone suplex and a big splash for the pin for his troubles.

Winner: Brodus Clay via Pinfall

The intro and outro for Brodus are each longer than the matches he has.  I’m okay with this gimmick, but “real” matches wouldn’t hurt the guy.  He’s a like a giant Taz – let him suplex the bejeezus out of people.  He’s been gone for two months and comes back with possibly his shortest match, with no change at all to his shtick.  Seems odd.

Shawn Michaels comes out and begins the verbiage of “the end of an era” which will be the central theme of HHH/Undertaker at ‘Mania.   Normally I love a talking segment with HBK, and when you throw in ‘Taker or HHH it’s typically better.  This was a LOT of words to boil down to “we all respect each other”.  Undertaker introduces the only new thought: The end of the match, win or lose, must be pure.  He doesn’t want HBK’s ego getting in the way of a pure ending.  Shawn reiterates that as special referee, he knows who is going to win.  As he leaves, HHH comes out onto the stage, looks at Undertaker and gives him a crotch chop.

Next Segment: Slam of the Week.  They replay Jericho countering Punk’s inside cradle to pin him from last week.  I remember when the Slam of the Week was just the biggest spot or baddest bump of the week.  A simpler time, I guess.  Wouldn’t really consider a small package a ‘slam’.

James Roday will announce the participants for the next match.  As he takes the microphone, a lone fan is very clearly heard yelling “We want Gus!”.

Match 4 – The Miz vs CM Punk (WWE Champion)

Jericho is watching this in the back, in wrestling gear and lite-brite jacket.  Miz starts with a quick schoolboy; good call, to show that he wants to get this win.  Punk lays in with kicks and Miz delivers a knee to the gut.  Back from a commercial, Miz has Punk in an abdominal stretch.  After escaping, Punk lands a high kick and follows with a springboard clothesline, a neckbreaker and the corner knee/bulldog combo.  Miz fights out of a GTS attempt, but eats a leg lariat from Punk off the ropes.  Miz answers with a kick to the knee and his signature DDT.  Punk dodges Miz’s top rope axe handle and attempts another GTS, but Miz fights out, landing behind Punk.  Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Punk throws him over his shoulder, hanging on and wrapping him into the Anaconda Vice for a tap out.

Winner: CM Punk via Submission.

Jericho appears on the Titantron.  He accuses Punk of being a fraud.  He asks “why are you a straight edge?”  Turns out Punk’s dad is an alcoholic.  Jericho promises to drive Punk to drink.  Punk sells this diatribe like a shotgun and very slowly leaves the ring and makes his way up the ramp to the back.  I’ve mixed feelings on this.  On one hand, expanding the story is a good thing, even if it is getting close to Wrestlemania.  On the other, this was a match that was based on two wrestlers, claiming to be the best wrestler in the world, and settling it by wrestling.  This is one case where the personal attack may not add to it.  I’ll reserve judgment for a couple of weeks though, as I keep the faith in Y2J.

There’s a ‘commercial’ spot for David Otunga’s twitter and his legal services to be provided via twitter.  Entirely strange.

Match 5 – Randy Orton vs Jack Swagger

Swagger gets the ‘no entrance’ treatment.  Swagger starts by taking Orton down and they exchange fireman’s carries.  Orton lands a dropkick and tosses Swagger to the outside.  He whips Swagger into the stairs and rams his head into the announce table.  Back into the ring, and back out to commercial.  Back from break, Orton is fighting out of a hold, but Swagger chop blocks him to start working on the legs for the Ankle Lock.  Swagger scoop slams Orton, but whiffs a Swagger bomb.  After an ankle lock attempt, they find themselves both climbing the same turnbuckle.  Orton wins the fight and lands a superplex.  Cole tells us we don’t often see him do that, even though since his return it’s become a mid-match staple of his repertoire, likely as a tribute to his dad “Cowboy” Bob Orton.  Orton turns it up and lands signature clotheslines and a powerslam, followed by the rope-hung spike DDT.  He coils on the mat and hits the RKO for three.

Winner: Randy Orton via Pinfall

Kane’s pyro hits and the arena goes red.  But Kane doesn’t come out.  Orton was selling looking over his shoulder during the match.  Perhaps this teases someone actually getting into the head of Randy Orton.

Another part of Cena’s rap is replayed.

Rock makes his entrance to end the show.  It boils down to insulting Cena and reminding Cleveland that they rock via song.  Rock finishes up with a mom joke and then leads the crowd in a karaoke-custom edition of Queen.  Somehow Rock is incapable of following the lyrics on the Titantron, stuttering and ad-libbing throughout.  The crowd still eats it up, so job well done, I supposed.  Without a doubt, Cena’s rap came off far stronger than Rock’s happy guitar time.  See The Rock sing here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_dpK88vSAY

An odd up and down Raw.  Cena was as strong as possible with his opening promo and then wasn’t heard from the rest of the night.  Ziggler and Sheamus put on an excellent match and showed that they can think on their feet.  We got two squash matches, one to semi-advance the General Manager storyline and one because the Funkasaurus is back.  Undertaker and HBK didn’t accomplish much with their talk; we know Undertaker wants things to go down “pure”, regardless of the outcome.  Punk and Miz had an ok short match, but Miz continues to look weak with a weeks-long losing streak, not even able to make the team for a 12-man tag match.  Orton picks up a clean win and, instead of Kane just attacking him, he messes with the Viper’s head.  Rock’s promo wasn’t bad by any means, but compared to Cena, it just seemed to fall a bit flat, shadowed by the song’s focus on begging Cleveland to cheer for themselves.

This falls into the “filler” show category as we head into Wrestlemania.  There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, but there was a lot of talking on the show.  I like that Rock and Cena don’t seem to be heading toward a fight before the pay-per-view.  They need to stay hands off until that match.  Next week, HBK/HHH/Undertaker will all be present; here’s hoping they make more of a point than this week.  Who do you think came off better between Rock and Cena?  Let us know in the comments!

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WWE Smackdown Lowdown 3/9/2012

Friday Night Smackdown – March 9th, 2012

For some reason, tonight we’re not given a countdown for Wrestlemania.  By my count, we’re 22 days out.  It’s crunch time; angles need to be finalized (to be fair, the whole uppercard actually is finalized by this point), promos need to be cut and shows need to open strong.  Which is, of course, why we’re greeted by John Laurinitis and David Otunga in the ring to open Smackdown.  A cage is lowering as Mr. Excitement brags about Teddy Long never giving away a cage match.  That’s right, John; Teddy never gives away what should, by all rights, be a main event level match type to open his show.  The participants for our steel cage opener?  A rematch for the United States title that Santino Marella captured this past Monday.

Match 1 – Cage Match - Jack Swagger vs Santino Marella (United States Champion); United States Title Match

Swagger enters with Dolph and Vickie flanking him; shenanigans shall be afoot in this one.  Recapturing the personality he lost with his World Heavyweight Title run, Swagger does his pushups AND his line crossing bit.  Swagger’s new haircut makes him look like a 6’6, 250lb Beaver Cleaver.  Awful.  Santino enters after a couple of pre-match laps around the cage.  Michael Cole has Laurinitis’ head cutout on paper and on a stick.  That’s as much reason as we got for that, so I’m going to ignore it.  Santino opens the match by dodging Swagger.  During this exchange, the size difference between the men is obvious; Swagger is a big, big man.  He’s the type that makes no sense to be on a losing streak; above many other roster members, Swagger looks like the type of guy that would outright kick your ass.  After a couple of ‘usual’ cage bumps, Swagger grabs Santino for a short-arm clothesline.  Santino dodges a second one and runs to climb the cage, but gets caught and thrown like a lawndart into the cage wall.  He quickly recovers and catches Swagger with a typical Santino split -> hiptoss -> headbutt combination.  Instead of saluting, Santino did what can only be described as a “Flair Flop headbutt”.  The cobra comes out, which draws Ziggler to grab onto the cage; Santino answers with a cobra to each set of knuckles, which Ziggler sells like a hit with a hammer.  Ziggler is sent away from ringside by the referee as Santino cobras (that’s a verb now) his way out of a belly-to-back suplex attempt from Swagger.  A commercial break leads us into Swagger being control on the return.  Santino tries to counter with a schoolboy and a sunset flip, but ends up eating a drop toe hold into the turnbuckle, followed by a Swagger Bomb.  Santino recovers after Swagger gets crotched mid-escape and lands a tornado DDT.  Santino runs for the door, but Swagger catches him twice, the second time breaking out the Ankle Lock.  Vicki prepares to slam the door on Santino’s head, but he rolls through the Ankle Lock and she ends up tagging Swagger.  Santino rolls out to escape for the victory.  Of note, the shot from the cage door landed the pipe, not the mesh on Swagger’s head; that had to hurt.

Winner: Santino Marella retains the United States Championship via cage escape

Santino is greeted by Teddy  Long for a hug (He is, after all, still the assistant to the general manager of Smackdown) and the fans go nuts.  They really do love what most people see as a ‘joke’ wrestler.  A mid card title run gets him more camera time, more time to cut his fun promos and more time for the fans to see his signature spot.  No real detriment there.

Cut to Otunga and Laurinitis in the back, enter Teddy Long.  Laurinitis demands an apology for Long “Pushing him on his butt”.  Laurinitis is still booking Aksana vs Kane.  Teddy and Laurinitis will wrestle for Aksana vs Kane; as per Laurinitis, if Long wins, the match will happen.  In other words, Laurinitis wants Long to lay down for him.  These guys aren’t active wrestlers, so a loss on the books isn’t all that embarrassing.

Raw Rewind to HBK/HHH on Raw.  Undertaker and Michaels will be on Raw together.  Until ‘Mania, we will likely see every possible combination of these three men in the ring to tease tension.

Drew McIntyre enters, with music and Titantron.  A fired man can contact the production truck, request an entrance and nobody seems to have an issue with this, apparently.  Laurinitis is giving him a chance to win back his job.  Khali enters, much to the chagrin of Drew.   Otunga then comes out and tells Khali to sit, because Drew’s opponent is…Hornswoggle!  So why send Khali out at all?  Also, I (and I can only imagine so very many of you) saw this coming a mile away.

Match 2 – Drew McIntyre vs Hornswoggle

Drew drops Hornswoggle with a leg wheel trip, which Hornswoggle took like a DDT from Raven.  Drew proceeds to scoop slam and pin Hornswoggle, only to pull him up at a two count.  Drew repeats this, then drops Hornswoggle with a rib breaker and tosses him to the side, at which point the ref stops the match. 

Winner: Drew McIntyre via referee stoppage

McIntyre celebrates at a Daniel Bryan level.  Khali hops in and gives Drew a Brain Chop for his troubles, because apparently Khali is concerned for Hornswoggle.  We’ll never revisit this.

Long is prepping for his match, and Aksana comes in to tell him “Teddy, I’m scared Kane” (and no that isn’t a typo).  Teddy is prepared to teach Ace a lesson.

Laurinitis is shadow boxing like someone who’s never thrown a punch in his life.  So to prepare for a wrestling match, where closed fists aren’t allowed, Johnny is shadow boxing.  Pay attention, Board of Directors.

Match 3 – Ezekiel Jackson vs Mark Henry

Both men start out hammering away at each other.  The ref pops into view and it’s a new ref!  For some reason, my fiancée popped for this and I promised I’d tell the world.  New ref is almost as fat as Todd Sinclair (of Ring of Honor), but I guarantee he doesn’t move like him!  Henry takes control of the match, big scoop slam on Zeke.  Henry whiffs an elbow drop, Zeke comes back with his repeated clotheslines in the corner, then walks into the World’s Strongest Slam for three.

Winner: Mark Henry via Pinfall

I imagine they want to make Henry still a credible threat, and Michael Cole declares this an impressive win.  David Otunga beat Ezekiel Jackson in half the time, two shows in a row.  What part of this was impressive?

As we move toward John Laurinitis vs Teddy Long, Cole mentions this being Laurinitis’ first match in WWE.  This is true; he wrestled in Japan and WCW, best known as Johnny Ace.  No mention is made here that Ace, for all intents and purposes, invented the Cutter (which he called the Ace Crusher), which we’ve all seen and popped for as done by Diamond Dallas Page and Randy Orton (among countless others).  To give him some credibility, why not mention that he laid the foundation for the RKO; arguably the most popular finisher in WWE?  Because Michael Cole doesn’t do his job.

Match 4 – John Laurinitis vs Teddy Long: If Teddy Long wins, Aksana faces Kane.

Laurinitis is out in underarmor; why not wear his own Future Endeavored shirt?  Ace demands Teddy lay down, which he refuses.  Laurinitis then beckons Kane to the ring.  Why does Kane obey Laurinitis, exactly?  Orton chases out and delivers an RKO (that move you invented came back to haunt you, Ace!) to Kane outside the ring.  Laurinitis yells at Orton, and Long rolls him up with a schoolboy for three.

Winner: Teddy Long via Pinfall

Long and Aksana quickly leave the building after this.  Important here:  Apparently the RKO trumps the general manager’s decree, as Aksana should, by all rights, have had to face Kane tonight.  Also, Teddy does a better schoolboy roll up than half the roster.

Match 5 – R-Truth and Kofi Kingston vs Primo and Epico (Tag Team Champions); non-title match

Truth enters and high-fives little Jimmy (the invisible one).  Booker gives the worst Laurinitis impression ever.  The Colons’ entrance still focuses on Rosa.  Off to a great start.  Kofi and Epico start, and Kofi lands an impressive Monkey Flip; Epico can fly, even when he’s on the receiving end of a move.  Truth comes in and he and Kofi land a double hip toss, which Truth follows up on with a devastating combination of yelling “What’s up”, doing a split, hitting the ropes, doing a 360 degree dance and landing a leg drop.  Kofi reenters and the team hits a combination high kick for a two count.  Kofi goes to hit the ropes, but Primo splits the top and middle rope and Kofi takes a tumble outside.  Booker credits this idea to Rosa, with no indication at all that she had Primo do this.  So Rosa knows the ring better than Primo Colon.  Ok.  Primo and Epico quickly tag in and out on Kofi to keep him down.  Crowd rallies, but Epico hits a butterfly suplex on Kofi, which Josh Matthews reacts to with “nice throw”.  Epico slaps on an abdominal stretch, answered by the commentators as “A potential submission maneuver”.  These things all have names; I don’t know why WWE has made a conscious choice to move away from calling them anything but a “move” “throw” or “maneuver” with other qualifiers sprinkled about.  Booker T, of all people, corrects this and actually calls it the abdominal stretch.  The ref gets distracted and Kofi end sup held down by Primo, with tags teased.  Kofi lands a single leg drop kick and Truth comes in to run wild off the tag.  He hits the Lie Detector forearm, but Epico breaks up the pin.  Kofi hits Primo with a corner rope-hung kick, and he walks right into what Truth called, at last check, “The Little Jimmy”, which is his jumping complete shot.  This is good for the three count.

Winners: R-Truth and Kofi Kingston via pinfall.

Once again, the tag champs lose clean to a ‘team’ of two wrestlers stuck together because there’s nothing better for them to do.  This is why nobody cares about the non-existant tag division.  At the very least, this was a great match, so I’m willing to let this go, as long as it leads to something.

Raw Rebound to Cena/Rock.  Cena loses everything if he can’t defeat the Rock.  There’s really no logic behind this.  At all.  You’re still the biggest active star in the industry after Wrestlemania, regardless of the outcome.  Your job and career are not on the line.  This is false drama being piped in.  Admittedly though, after the last couple promos from these two, I’m beginning to become more invested in this match.

The next (and final) segment is Michael Cole interviewing Bryan and Sheamus, to lead into the main event.  I quite like when WWE structures it this way; both guys need to be out here for the match, so why have two different segments?  It’s a great natural flow.  Cole accuses Bryan of needing luck, to which he responds that when you’re good, you don’t need luck.  Bryan gets by on “the knowledge and application of scientific wrestling, a vegan lifestyle, charisma and sex appeal.”  When Bryan is left to be a smarmy heel, he absolutely shines.  Cole then asks Sheamus if it was the luck of the Irish that led him to his Royal Rumble victory.  He says he’s been lucky all his life, and people make their own luck.  AJ opts to begin speaking to which, Bryan immediately snaps “Shut up, AJ.”  He says she’s done nothing but get in the way.  Sheamus tells Bryan that he should be the one wearing a skirt in the relationship and that at Wrestlemania, his luck will run out.  The remaining wrestlers for the main event begin to enter in a heel, face, heel, face pattern.  That’s a bit different.

On the whole, this promo is great: There’s a centralized theme (Luck) with a good contrast of Bryan “not needing luck” and Sheamus saying that people make their own luck.  Bryan gets to play the heel with his egotism and telling AJ to shut up.  I can’t help but feel this continues leading to April 1^st, culminating in Bryan taking it one step too far, AJ slapping him and his walking into a Brogue Kick or White Noise.

Match 6 – Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show vs The Miz, Cody Rhodes (Intercontinental Champion) and Daniel Bryan (World Heavyweight champion)

This seems a mismatch: On one side, you have three men that entirely outsize their opponents, and on the other side you have both Smackdown champions.  Sheamus starts the match out by running over Rhodes.  Orton tags in and runs all over Rhodes, with the commentary team making mention of the Legacy history these two have.  This needs to be done more often, but kudos to them.  Bryan tags in and hits a corner dropkick.  Orton tags out to Show who proceeds to scoop slam Bryan who scampers over to his corner and tags out to Miz.  Miz takes a frying pan slap from Show and tags out to Rhodes.  Rhodes tags Miz back in and bails to the floor, leading to a commercial.  Back from break, Sheamus is hammering Miz.  Miz begins to fire back, but takes a rolling fireman’s carry from Sheamus.  Front dropkick from Miz knocks Sheamus outside and Bryan chases Sheamus off the apron with a flying knee.  Sheamus back in, and Bryan tags in to keep the pressure on.  Repeated knee drops onto the head of Sheamus, then tags out to Miz who boots Sheamus in the head for two.  Rhodes comes in for some stomps, followed by Bryan in for his signature chest kicks, now yelling “YES!” with each one.  I love this gimmick.  Miz comes in and hits his signature DDT, tags Rhodes back in who applies a full nelson to Sheamus.  That’s just begging for a counter and a hot tag.  Sheamus fights out, sets up for the Celtic Cross, Rhodes shimmies down for a russian leg sweep but ends up taking the Irish Curse.  Orton and Miz tag in and Orton does the usual clotheslines and powerslam.  Big Show takes Rhodes out and Bryan ends up tussling with Sheamus.  The Wrestlemania opponents have paired off, leaving Orton to counter the Skull Crushing Finale and land an RKO for the three count.

Winners: Randy Orton, Big Show and Sheamus via pinfall.

Kane comes back out to avenge his RKO earlier in the night and after a brawling lap around the ring, Orton and Kane end up fighting up into the crowd.  The copyright logo comes up and the show ends mid-brawl.  Kind of anti-climactic.

Good match, lots of quick tags from the heels and the signature spots everyone comes to see.  Nothing negative to say about this one. 

There’s still a heavy focus on the general managers, which is still leading in the direction of Team Teddy vs Team Ace at ‘Mania.  The Board of Directors really shouldn’t make decisions that way but what do I know?  The focus on the tag champs is still heavily on Rosa Mendez’s midriff and not on the Colons, who are great in the ring.  With no Money in the Bank match scheduled this year, I would wager a guess that Truth/Kofi (Boomtruth?) will face them for the tag titles at the big show.  Daniel Bryan and Sheamus are looking great heading into April 1^st and of any match, this is one where either outcome is great.  Punk should be retaining over Jericho, but either man holding the World Heavyweight Championship would be fine.  This may have been the first show with a cage match that didn’t involve the World Heavyweight Title in some fashion in quite some time; this isn’t at all a bad thing.

A look at ROH’s Tenth Anniversary show, as well as a look at the best wrestling you’re not watching will be coming soon – watch for them on the geek asylum twitter handle @thegeekasylum, as well as my own @sbfantom!

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Diablo 3 Gets Official Release Date!

The wait is almost over folks. With all the suspense from tight lipped employees of Blizzard, and very poor rumors from supposed retail store workers, we finally get an official release of the most highly anticipated PC game of the last 10 yrs. Diablo 3 will be released MAY 15 2012!. Let the countdown begin.

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A Geek Follow-Up: Double Fine Adventure Raises HOW MUCH?!

In a previous article by our lovely contributing writer Heather, she brought to our attention a small studio named Double Fine, led by former writer and programmer for LucasArts Tim Schafer. This studio was looking to raise $400,000 from fans using the website Kickstarter to start a new adventure game called "Double Fine Adventure. It seems they were under estimating how much gamers really want a good open adventure game. In the first 24hrs they raised $1,000,000 and in 2 weeks it was up to $2,000,000, so to say the least i'm sure all expectations have been blown away. Its only been about a month but now the fund raising is over. Double Fine and 2 Player Productions received over $3,000,000 in fan funding for Double Fine Adventure! Actually it was $3,335,265 to be exact. So now that the project is fully funded, let the real fun will begin.

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Geek Community Spotlight: CineFantasy

Our first Geek Community Spotlight goes out to CineFantasy. CineFantasy is a small post-production group based out of Italy. Luckily, YouTube has given them the ability to channel their fan-made video expertise to the masses. Their goal, “to create films and (web) series ever more beautiful.” In my opinion, more bad ass as well.

These geek connoisseurs have a sweet collection of self-made action sequences with the use of air soft weaponry, abandoned warehouses and great visual effects. The popular Call of Duty and Battlefield franchises also inspire their videos.

Was that an RC-XD car I just saw?

Not to shabby for a group of individuals with no serious funding backing them. They use a Canon EOS 5D and 60D cameras for it all. You can find their YouTube channel right here. Show some love.

Watch the video below for a little taste.

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IDW Comics: Magic The Gathering

IDW has delivered to us a comic book series modeled after the trading card game, Magic The Gathering. If you checked your local comicbook store, card store, or maybe even a book store, you might have caught a glance at these two issues, the lattter having been released this past Wednesday, March 7th 2012.




















Unlike most comics, these comics are displayed in package, sealed. They also include a piece of cardboard for sturdiness. So, in short, if you're able to pick up the comic and flip through it, you're missing out on something. Something that may interest you. Something...well remember how we mentioned Magic The Gathering is a trading card game? When you purchase the issue, you get a Magic The Gathering card, with artwork the same as the cover art. These are the two released so far:

If you're familiar with Magic the Gathering, you'll know what I mean when I say it's just a story of another Planeswalker. Outside of the names of a few familiar planes such as Ravnica and Innistrad, there isn't any indication of interaction with other planeswalkers or stories. If you don't know  anything about Magic The Gathering, a Planeswalker is a mage who can travel through the various planes of the multiverse. Each comic book also gives a small summary of what a Planeswalker is on the inside covers, incase you need the reminder or the lesson. As a story, this leaves multiple outcomes, as the character can cause a problem in one plane, travel to another, and have a completely different problem. The main character, Dack Fayden, does just that, jumping between the planes to gather information, create and solve problems, or just use the resources specific to a certain plane.

After reading the first two issues, the story is easy to get attached to. There isn't a lot of confusion, especially as Dack likes to think to himself alot. Overall it's a very easy read and I would recommend you pick up the books. I don't know much about the cards in their current state as far as the Trading Card Game goes, but I do appreciate the extra care IDW has put in to make sure theft of these cards is not so easy.

So it's up to you if you want to make the purchase of these issues. There's no indication that this is a limited series, whether it will always include cards, or whether or not it will always be about this particular character. If you're interested in Magic the Gathering, it can't hurt to pick it up. If nothing else, you get cards you can trade.

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