Battlefield 3 just keeps getting better

Battlefield 3 is one of the greatest first person shooters out there on consoles and PC alike right now. I recently started playing it again after a few months of inactivity and boy was it worth it! Thanks to the new Rent-A-Server system the online competitive MP is even better than it was before. You can now search for specific game modes/maps at the press of a button. The new server system is exactly what the game needed to keep it fresh until the Close Quarters pack comes out in June (which I am also ecstatic for might I add).

Now I can play on Noshahr Canals whenever I want with the score limit set to 500. That’s right, you read that correctly; 500 kills before the match is over. It’s like playing CoD 4 shipment over and over again to your heart’s content. And this goes for whatever map that you like enough to play on over and over and over again!

Moving on to the close quarters map pack that is set to release early this coming June. I really can't wait until this pack hits Xbox. I’ve always loved the Battlefield franchise in general for its outstanding action and scope. Now DICE is going for a change of pace and moving this awesome warfare into tighter quarters. Just think about this for a second 24 (or 64) trigger happy (irritable) gamers in a very confined and claustrophobic area (by Battlefield standards at least) with the Frostbite 2 engine powering every shell fragment, piece of wall rubble, and gunshot that rings out through the hallways of the towers you will be killing each other in. Check out the video below for a sneak peak at the new Ziba Tower gameplay trailer

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Dust 514: The Game is Changing

This is exactly where you had imagined yourself to be. Congrats kid, you've just accomplished more than 85% of the human population ever will. You lean your head back against the steel framed wall that's surrounded you since you've set off on the mission. Memories silently stir you from your sleepy haze, and the voices of all your loved ones from home start to fade. You look around to your team mates and you wonder if any of them are half as scared as you are. Nah, you think. Every thousand mile journey has its first step, and this one's mine.

The tank comes to a bumpy halt and the anxiety in the room starts to flood in. This is the real deal. Your commander struts in with confidence, just as a man in his position should. He briefs you on the mission: a military base has been invaded and is on the brink of surrender to other forces. Go in, get it done, get out. He throws you and your mates weapons. Chaos quickly burrows in as you hear guns, bombs, screams and calls for help outside the tank. You're nervous, but you can't let that show. The doors open. Do I run as fast as I can and prove that I'm quick and efficient, or do I play it safe, take my time, and make sure I'm not seen?

And then you start to question - who is it that you're fighting for? Do you know anything about these men that you've agreed to fight and die next to? The truth is, you don't know anything. The tank, your armor, your weapons... everything you are was crafted by someone else - somewhere in the world. A voice and brain behind the monitor. You don't know who it is, but you do what you've signed up to do. Friends, this is Dust 514.

Okay, so maybe this isn't your first outer space marine mission. And we've all sat in the tanks, dreading our heavy gear and thrown unfamiliar weapons, but not like this. This is a PS3 exclusive MMOFPS - and even better news, it's free to play. Everything from the weapons you carry, to your gear, the tank, and the team you play on is all under rule by another player in the world who fashioned everything you currently know. This player can control his team any way he wants to, whether for good or for evil, but you have no idea what. You have no say whatsoever.

So you go in and do as you're told. If you win the mission, reputation is built, you earn experience, and you've won the base you just captured. However, another player just lost his base to you, and he's going to bite back with revenge. The game is set in and directly connected to the EVE Online universe. You can also join other EVE and Dust players to form your own alliance to conquer planets and even star systems. You can customize your weapons or buy from secondary markets and get a better deal on a previously crafted weapon.

You have the choice between five different races to play, all from human origin. You can play as the Amarr - one of the most powerful and influential races due to its strong Empire, the resilient Minmatar and deathly opposed to the Amarr for enslaving their tribe, the patriotic Caldari, the democratic Gallente - who serve as the leaders in science, business, and pioneers in artificial intelligence, or the closed-off, enigmatic Jove.



The world of New Eden is inhabited by five major races: the Caldari, Gallente, Minmatar, Amarr and Jove. All of these races are of human origin; their ancestors entered this little part of the universe thousands of years ago through a natural wormhole. Though most of the first settlements collapsed when the wormhole suddenly closed, a few survived. Today’s races are the descendants of those scattered colonies.

Every battle, win or lose, will have its consequences. This is not just another "get shot, live again" games like everything else out there. You're in an interconnected world with hundreds of thousands of players that you will fight with, win with, grow with, and die next to. The future of New Eden rests with you. Take on the role as a Logistics Officer, or be a specialized vehicle pilot, or rush into the glory zone in your customized Assault armor. The choice is yours, but choose wisely.

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Geek Asylum's new podcast starts April 25th





Original art for the show's logo by Laurance Honkoski. Thanks L.

This has been a long time coming. I've been in the process of developing the "Completely Random" podcast for some time (well over 9 months in fact), the problem was we couldn't find a home for it. I didn't want to start a site dedicated to just the podcast. I wanted it to be a part of something, and when Eric Colon approached me with Geek Asylum that's when I knew it had finally found its home.

It should be noted that I'm an absolute perfectionist when it comes to podcasting. From editing to post production, I'm completely anal. I realized that really isn't a good approach, and that's the primary reason my last podcast died (Rest in peace AGP). So this time I've decided to say "screw it", let's just have fun.

Completely Random is comprised of yours truly, Chad Tyler Wherry, and THE Drew Brown to complete the tri-fecta. The show about everything and anything related to the things we like, dislike, and everything in between. There is no paparticular format. If there is a comic we want to discuss, we discuss it. If there is a movie we want to debate about, we will. If there is a game...you get the point. We unanimously decided this we be the best way to go. Join us April 25th to have your life infinitely changed. 

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WWE Smackdown Lowdown 4/10/2012

Tonight is "Blast from the Past" on Smackdown.  That's pretty much code for "go out to dinner tonight, folks".  Usually these gimmick shows have something to pull them out of the bottom of the barrel, and luckily this one pulled it out, but we'll discuss this later.  Tonight's Smackdown was the perfect compliment to a lackluster Raw, since it left me thinking "I didn't need to see this at all".  Let's get started.

To open the show, "Mean" Gene Okerlund is out to introduce "one of his favorites", World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus.  Sheamus apologizes for his actions last week (booting a ref clear out of his shoes), to a chorus of "Daniel Bryan" chants.  John Lauranaitis comes out and shows a clip of what Sheamus just apologized for.  He then forces Sheamus to apologize again, first to the referee, then all the referees, then the entire world.  Apparently this isn't good enough for Johnny, who tells Sheamus he's on a permanent probation; fired if he should make any physical contact with any WWE ref and then slaps him with a $500,000 fine.  As the cherry on this heel authority figure sundae, Sheamus will team up with Mean Gene to face Alberto Del Rio and Daniel Bryan tonight.

This was...something.  Johnny is usually a bit more subtle about being a jackass, but here we have a hyper-typical authority figure throwing his weight around.  Not a good progression for him.

Randy Orton is in the back with his father, "Cowboy" Bob Orton, who wishes his son luck in tonight's opening bout.

Match 1 - Randy Orton vs Mark Henry

Henry opens by tossing Orton into the corner, but Orton punches his way out.  Henry headbutts Orton, who responds with more right hands, but then takes a Henry power-slam.  Papa Orton is watching on a screen in the back.  Back from a commercial, Henry is wrenching Orton's head and delivers a headbutt for two.  Henry goes back to the neck wrench.  Orton tries fighting out again, only to take a headbutt and a splash for two.  Henry delivers shoulders in the corner and then a body attack.  Henry delivers another and gets another two count.  Henry whiffs another splash attempt, and Orton fights back - two lariats and a kick to the knee to set up for a DDT for a close two count.  Orton tries his middle rope spike DDT, but Henry escapes and tries the World's Strongest Slam.  Orton goes up and over Henry, lands and tries the RKO, but Henry shoves Orton to the outside.  Henry gives chase, but ends up eating the ring post and a European uppercut.  Orton rolls back into the ring and Kane's pyro and must go off.  Kane appears on the Titantron and congratulates Orton on being able to be a savage.  Kane has Bob Orton in the back, which leads Randy to rush to the back.  Randy finds his father fallen and Kane attacks him with a pipe to the gut and back then leaves the Orton men laying in the back.

Winner: Mark Henry via countout (unannounced)

First and foremost, no end of this match was announced.  At the least, announce the count out that should have occurred.  The Ortons got attacked by Kane, so I'm sure we'll see some blow-off for this at Extreme Rules.  Back from a commercial break, they recap this via replay.  It just happened; we don't need to recap it yet.

Ted DiBiase Sr and Tony Atlas are in the back, ready to watch the next match, which Tony explains to the world will be a squash match.  This is one of the worst things to come out of a guy's mouth before a match.  I hope somebody laid into him for that one.

Match 2 - Ryback vs Benny Kamer

Ryback indeed proceeds to squash a local guy named Benny - He opens with a brutal lariat that flips Benny upside down, then deadlifts him into his finisher, which is some amalgamation of a torture rack, a Samoan drop and a muscle buster.  It's also completely unnamed by the commentators.

Winner: Ryback via pinfall

Mick Foley heads down to the ring, ready to commentate and joins the boys at the table.



Match 3 - Heath Slater and Tyson Kidd vs Jimmy and Jey Uso

Slater and Kidd are accompanied by Jimmy Hart.  Jimmy proceeds to yell at Mick Foley through his megaphone, for no real reason.  Kidd and one of the Usos have a hip toss fight across the ring and Kidd ends up on the apron.  He hops over for a rollup, but Slater has blind tagged himself in.  Slater takes charge, but the Usos nab a blind tag.  Uso #2 lands a forearm on Slater, but Kidd breaks up the pin, then walks into a double team Samoan drop.  Slater takes a Samoan drop and a Superfly Splash for the loss as Jimmy Hart crawls through the ring; apparently Mick Foley had enough of his megaphone crap and put on Socko.  Foley eventually nabs Hart in the ring and sticks Socko in his gullet.

Winners: Usos via pinfall

I'm always happy to see Mick Foley, but this is such a waste of his time.  Tyson Kidd being on TV is good, as he is really a young talent who should be focused on a lot more, but he was made to look like a total goof, which is a shame.


And this brings us to the saving grace of tonight's Smackdown:  Piper's Pit with Daniel Bryan.  Piper invites Bryan to the ring, who comes out to a chorus of "YES" chants.  Bryan is at the point where regardless of what a rat bastard WWE makes him out to be, the vocal fans will love him.  Bryan proudly announces that in his rematch with Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Title, he can pin and submit him, as it will be a 2 out of 3 falls match at Extreme Rules.  Roddy invites AJ to the ring to discuss the breakup.  She tells Piper she's happy and honored to be on the Pit.  She says that Daniel is a good person deep down and that Wrestlemania was her fault and her mistake.  She wants to talk to Bryan.  Piper tells AJ that she's strong, she's smart and she's beautiful.  Piper explains that Bryan has been using her.  Bryan tells AJ that if she ever loved him, she should leave the ring now.

After a bit of apprehension and talking down from Piper, AJ hops out of the ring and heads to the back.  Bryan goes to follow, but Piper stops him.  Piper says that Bryan is all about "YES", but here's a few "NO"s.  You don't tell a lady to shut up.  You don't yell at a lady.  You don't shield yourself with a lady.  That's a coward.  And that's Bryan.  Piper says now he's excited for the 2 out of 3 falls at Extreme Rules:  Now he can see Sheamus kick Bryan's head off twice in one night.  The crowd gives a quick "NO!" chant and Bryan slaps Piper across the face, then bails out of the ring.  As one would expect, Piper is peeved and wants Bryan to step back in the ring, but that would be end of the segment.

Bryan and AJ both played their parts incredibly well, and Piper is always a good addition to this type of exchange.  We may not have 'advanced' much as far as the characters, but just some consistency is a big help at this point in WWE.  AJ didn't just turn around and see the light - she's bordering on a battered-girlfriend, at least from an emotional standpoint and I for one would love to see some more come of this.  Highlight of the show, by far.

Match 4 - Great Khali, Alicia Fox and Natalya vs Drew McIntyre and the Bella Twins

Drew gets tossed by Khali and quickly tags out to Nikki.  He says he's better than this and bails on the match.  Alicia comes in and she and Nikki take each other down by the hair.  Alicia lands a northern lights suplex on Nikki and gets the pin.

Winners: Great Khali, Alicia Fox and Natalya

Alicia somehow bridged too soon on the northern lights so the execution looked a bit odd.  Natalya and Brie didn't even tag into the match.  If this produces some kind of advancement with Drew McIntyre's character, then ok.  If not, thanks for wasting our time, WWE.

A new Damien Sandow promo plays - He's all about sophistication, but no word on his in ring debut, which is what matters most.

A replay of Kane and the Ortons from earlier tonight plays.

Raw Rebound to Cena and Lesnar's scrap and the end of the night.

Mean Gene and Sheamus are in the locker room and Sheamus tells Gene that there's a good chance they won't win tonight, but after the night is over they'll drink to remember or forget.

Match 5 - "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs Hunico

Duggan punches Hunico out of the ring, but Camacho imposes; Duggan calls Sgt. Slaughter down for back up.  Back in the ring, Duggan whacks Hunico and Camacho over the backs with his signature 2x4, then Hunico gets wrapped up in the Cobra Clutch.  Sprinkle some USA chants over this and I'm about done.

Winner: Hunico via disqualification

Yes, it's "Blast from the Past" tonight, but this is just another waste of everyone's time.  Hunico is actually solid in the ring - I'd much rather have a good match with him and Tyson Kidd than the crap they were involved in tonight.


A recap of Sheamus and Okerlund's locker room conversation plays.  This is totally unwarranted and more time filler.

Back from a break, Cody Rhodes is out.  He says that tonight has been a waste of time and we should look to the future.  Dusty Rhodes comes out to tell his son that he loves him and that he's a natural, but he needs to stop poking the bear that is Big Show.  Cody says they can talk in the back and Big Show comes out.  He shows a clip from Cody's "Dashing" days to embarrass him.  Dusty's old entrance theme plays and he dances.  I think that all kind of speaks for itself, to be quite honest.  At the least, we got a decent Dusty impression out of Big Show.

Back from another commercial, Daniel Bryan is in the ring.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio and we're ready for the main event.

Match 6 - Daniel Bryan and Alberto Del Rio vs Sheamus (World Heavyweight Champion) and "Mean" Gene Okerlund

Howard Finkel introduces Sheamus and Okerlund.  Del Rio opens against Sheamus in what amounts to a handicap match.  Sheamus starts with strikes and a back elbow.  Bryan tags in and lays into Sheamus with kicks.  He follows with more kicks in the corner.  Del Rio tags back in, but Sheamus delivers a back body drop.  Del Rio tags out to Bryan who runs into a forearm from Sheamus.  Del Rio comes into the ring to run interference, but gets tossed out of the ring by Sheamus.  Bryan dropkicks Sheamus out of the ring and Del Rio tags Sheamus with a kick in the head.  Okerlund ends up surrounded by Del Rio, Bryan and Rodriguez, who for some reason is allowed in the ring.  The ref also isn't administering a five count to Del Rio, who shouldn't be in the ring.  Piper's music hits and he and all the legends of the night make their way to the ring.  This distracts Bryan, who turns around into a Brogue Kick for a loss.

Winners: "Mean" Gene Okerlund and Sheamus

The legends surround Ricardo and start handing him right hands, signature spots and a Cobra Clutch.  He eventually gets a Brogue Kick.  The highlight of this clusterfuck, if you have a sharp eye, was Alberto seeing what was about to go down and hopping the barrier, to run away.   Apparently they had a couple minutes of air time left to fill, so Cole climbed in the ring, made a retirement home joke and got punched in the face by Pat Patterson.  That's not a bad way to end the night.

Another throw away show, ever so slightly saved by Bryan in Piper's Pit and Alberto Del Rio being a top notch coward.  I'll be honest - there's not much else to say here.  Nobody made any progress and there was basically nothing of note.  Here's hoping for the next Raw to be better.

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Why use Instagram when you can use Google Plus?

I know I know, 50 million users can’t be wrong, I guess Instagram is pretty popular. Facebook also has $1 Billion worth of faith in them so they must be doing something right. Honestly, post photo editing outside of Photoshop isn't anything that couldn't already be done on mobile phones and PC. In fact, Facebook isn't the first to try photo enhancement and sharing, you can do it on Google Plus.

In March of 2010 Google acquired a similar post processing start up, "Picnik."  Picnik was primarily geared towards pc users as an online alternative to using Photoshop. Google has since integrated it into their Google+ social network as the "Creative Kit" which now allow users to not only upload and share their photos, but easily tweak them with various effects and filters. Here are a few examples...

Hopefully, the recent digital racism between Instagram on iPhone or Android will spark meaningful discussion thus educating people on what art is and what photography can actually be despite hardware price tags or operating systems. Personally, I feel like if you quarrel over the camera you are missing the point; but lets be honest, there will always be stupid people. Maybe if Google+ decides to integrate some of these features into their mobile app they will be able to break up this apparent monopoly and give users more choice. It will at least give them some firepower against Facebook.  Until then, Instagram will remain the hot app for sharing photos and making hipsters feel like talented photographers.

As Usual:
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WWE Raw Wrapup 4/9/12

First off, a big thank you to Eric for covering Wrestlemania 28 and the subsequent Raw and Smackdown.  The night of Wrestlemania I went from what I thought to be the flu into a pneumonia-addled coma and basically slept for 72 hours.  I'm still not feeling quite up to snuff, and to be quite honest, Raw was less than stellar so today will be far less long-winded than usual.

Raw opens with guest a spot for the night's guest hosts:  The Three Stooges.  I thought we were done with this guest host stuff, but it's so hard to hate the Stooges' shtick.  There are a ton of YES signs in the crowd, still showing support for Daniel Bryan.  John Lauranaitis comes out and introduces "the new face of the WWE": Brock Lesnar.  Typical WWE:  Sign a short-term star and shove him down our throats.  Instead of playing this out and storylining us, we're instead shotgunning it like a college party brewski.  Important here and moving forward:  The reaction for Lesnar was less than lukewarm this time.  Last week the crowd went ballistic.  This week, they went out to merch tables.  Cena comes out, slaps the taste out of Lesnar's mouth and gets taken down for his trouble.  Lesnar's first punch catches Cena in the face and he comes up bloodied.  The locker room clears and they pull the men apart multiple times.  Lauranaitis wants Teddy to get him an explanation and Eve wants a meeting with Johnny, who casts her off until next week.

There's a part of me that wants to question why, say, Mark Henry and Alberto Del Rio rushed from the locker room to break up this fight, when it behooves them both to have potential champions or rivals be hurt by one another.  But then I just go "WWE" and keep taking notes.

Match 1 - Brodus Clay and Santino Marella (United States Champion) vs Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger

This was a one segment match stretched into two.  Into break, Swagger takes Brodus down with a chopblock.  Back from break, Ziggler drops his signature jumping elbow on Santino.  Santino continues to be beaten, but makes a tag to Brodus who beats Ziggler with a clothesline, t-bone suplex and splash.

Winners: Brodus Clay and Santino Marella via pinfall

Johnny casts Miz off similar to Eve earlier and Teddy returns with Cena.  Cena wants to hit and he wants to be hit, so Johnny gives Cena Otunga in the main event later tonight.  Santino is looking for the Stooges.  He finds Kane and then powerwalks away.


Match 2 - R-Truth vs Cody Rhodes

Quick offense via Alabama Slam from Rhodes, but Big Show comes out and shows a clip of last week, when he showed a clip of Wrestlemania.  Cody is distracted and turns around into "Little Jimmy" (this is the laziest goddamn finisher name), Truth's jumping Complete Shot and loses.

Winner: R-Truth via pinfall

Short of a full rage, I'll just say that this is accomplishing nothing whatsoever for someone who can, could and should be a future world champion, possibly even this year.

Santino finds the Stooges in a crate, because this is how we move human beings around.  They do some classic shtick with Santino, and as much as I hate guest hosts and time wasting, you just can't hate the Stooges, especially when WWE's own stooge Santino is involved.  I'll give it a pass.

Match 3 - Lord Tensai vs Yoshi Tatsu

Cole tells us that Tatsu challenged Tensai to this match via Twitter because he is not "real Japanese".  Tensai dominated Japan for five years, Tatsu jobbed and fought in dark match battle royals.  Not a strong argument.  Especially when this match amounted to a drawn out squash.  "Albert" chants throughout the match and Tensai delivers a Choke Bomb after screaming "Tensai Ichiban!" in the face of Tatsu, informing him that Tensai is number one.

Winner: Lord Tensai via referee stoppage

Tensai does the same bit as his debut:  He sprays a mist from mouth to hand, then applies a face claw, causing his defeated opponent to scream in pain.  How the hell does he spray something that burns this much from his mouth?!  Tensai is barely getting a reaction, but it will be hard to gauge a proper reaction until he wrestles someone the crowd gives a damn about.

Replay of last week with Chris Jericho shattering an alcohol bottle over the head of CM Punk.

Match 4 - Mark Henry vs CM Punk (c), WWE Championship Match

Punk makes a beeline for the ring, grabs the mic and says that straight edge is a personal choice and a way of life.  His reasons are his own, but Jericho has made it all public.  Henry enters.  Punk attacks out of the gate with rapid strikes, but eats a big Henry clothesline.  The fight spills outside and Punk clonks Henry with one of the announcer's monitors.  Now I understand that he's mad and why he's mad.  But he's still supposed to be a fighting champion, so this was a less than stellar way to end the match.

Winner: Mark Henry via disqualification

Back in the ring, Henry lands a World's Strongest Slam.Jericho comes out, beers in hand and Henry hits another World's Strongest Slam.  Punk tries to fight Jericho, but eats a Codebreaker.  Jericho gives Punk a beer bath and he fights up to his feet, only to take another Codebreaker.  This all points to a rematch at Extreme Rules in Chicago.


Match 5 - Zack Ryder vs Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio opens with very strong strikes and a dropkick for two.  Ryder throws up his knees in the corner and lands a Broski Boot and sets up for the Rough Ryder.  Alberto counters the Rough Ryder, tossing Ryder up and over headfirst into the turnbuckle, then locks in the Cross Armbreaker.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio via submission

At least Ryder is still on TV, I guess.  Del Rio does need to come back looking strong, so you can't argue with the choices made here.


The Stooges are on their way to the ring, and back from commercial, Moe and Larry are in the ring.  The crowd isn't happy about this, and they vocally let the guys in the ring know.  Will Sasso as Curly comes out as Hulk Hogan, theme and everything.  This still doesn't have the crowd happy, as Sasso/Curly cuts a promo.  Kane comes out, sets off his pyro which sends two of the Stooges running and Sasso takes a chokeslam.  This company does not know their audience worth a damn: There wasn't enough Stooge shtick to give this one a pass.

Next week, due to a DQ and count out win over Henry for two weeks running, Punk will defend against Mark Henry in a no disqualification match.

Truth time:  From about this point until the end of the show, I admittedly conked out, which I will chalk up to 50% pneumonia coma and 50% boring as hell Raw.  What I can tell you is Lesnar cut a promo in the back, which is a poor choice.  This guy should be a silent killer, especially with him being back such a short time, and he's been running his mouth all night.

Match 6 - John Cena vs David Otunga

Slept right through this one (see above mathematics), but Cena won with an Attitude Adjustment and STF.

Winner: John Cena via submission

Lesnar rolls out from under the ring and gives Cena a low blow kick from behind and delivers the F5.

That's it.  That's the end of the show.  Open and close with Lesnar, barely anything worth a damn in the middle of the show.  Lesnar's returns are already diminishing, as the crowd had a very "meh" reaction tonight to him each time he was shown.  The occasional 'just there' Raw isn't the end of the world, but here's the problem with it being tonight:  It's been a week since Wrestlemania.  If any show should set the tone for the coming year, it was this one.  And if we have to take inventory of the coming from year from tonight here's how it looks:  The WWE title barely means anything, as does anyone not named John Cena, John Lauranaitis or Brock Lesnar.  It's a gloomy forecast.

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Wrestlemania. RAW. Smackdown. Super Duper Bonzai Extravaganza

Wrestlemania is over. The pageantry. The spectacle. The over marketing. I have to say I was pretty stoked about the card set up. Seeing the Rock back in action again, Cena, Jericho and CM Punk, Triple H vs Taker; It was shaping up to be a great night…so then why was the first title match of the night ONLY EIGHTEEN SECONDS LONG?!?! Now, at first myself and those I watched it with were pretty freaking ticked at the fact that a great wrestler like Daniel Bryan got a big steaming pile of crap laid on him on the biggest wrestling event of the year. But after seeing RAW and Smackdown this week, this could possibly be the best thing that has happened to him.

Man was the crowd over with Bryan all week. The Miami crowd was rabid and the YES! YES! YES! chants echoed all throughout Wrestlemania, RAW, and Smackdown. Good. I hope this all backfires in Vince's face. Lets hope they get smart like they did with Punk when he caught fire and give this guy a push. Bryan getting rid of AJ on Smackdown made me sad, she was pleasing to look at so I'm hoping that she isn't gone for long. The sad thing is the I like Sheamus, and I still do. Which was why I was hoping for a…cleaner…win. But now he will be the target of the fans rage because he shat on Daniel Bryan.

Randy and Kane was a match that I honestly kept more focused on the delicious chicken wings in front of me than actually paying attention to the match. He had no payoff, the feud leading up to it was weak, and I'm not much of a Kane or Orton fan so I'll just cut to the chase: Orton lost, and the universe doesn't give a crap. He's probably more ticked that he got canned from his gig as lead in The Marine 3. Apparently, Orton was dishonorably discharged from the Marines before his tenure in the WWE so when he was asked to play the role of an honorable marine, some actual marines took offense to it. Another tidbit that no one really cares about being that WWE films are only one small step up form SyFy channel movies like "Croctopus".

Team Teddy and Team Johnny was the match that filled in for Money in the Bank being that it has it's own PPV now. The match was going great…wait…is that Eve? And my astounding ADD kicked in as a gawked at her magnificence. Oh yeah, Team Johnny won, because as I said "Bitches Love Big Johnny". Ryder got kicked in the nuts by a goddess, and I would have gladly traded places with the young lad. Yes, even the eventual destruction of my gonads by that woman gives me a sick sense of pride.  During the "Pee Break Match" aka the Divas match, Maria Menunous crapped her pants…at least it looked that way…and there was much rejoicing.

Now onto the matches that actually mattered.

The End of an Era match was a one helluva teasing title to the match. I would assume that Taker would lose being that it would actually mark the end of an era. But what if Triple H loses? Probably nothing. No word down the interwebs that he's gonna retire. He's barely on the active roster anyways. So they should have named it "The End of an Era if Undertaker loses match and if he wins it becomes The Status Quo match". This was one of the matches that based on wrestling technique it wasn't superb. But these two just really know how to tell a story in the ring, and that's what it was.

We watched drama unfold in the ring unlike what we see on regular PPV or weekly broadcasts. HBK being there was just the icing on the cake. These men knew how to keep the audience glued to their sets. It ended up being a mirror of last years match up, which I hate because HBK vs Taker I was better than HBK vs Taker II because it was the first time we'd seen that match. The rematch was almost an exact duplicate. The only new added component this time around was the special guest ref. Taker won and extended his streak to 20-0. When will this end? No one knows really. But when it does, Wrestlemania has some pretty big shoes to fill.

Y2J vs CM Punk was a match that I knew was going to be a physical match. These guys put their bodies through hell the whole time. Did anyone expect that suplex to the apron to actually happen?!? It's one of those moves that they always tease but never actually do because it would hurt like hell. Well, they id it, and you know what? It looked like it hurt like hell!! CM Punk retains but tap out via the Anaconda Vice. Great match by two great performers. The feud continued into RAW with CM Punk getting the piss kicked out of him by Mark Henry. Then Jericho came out and smashed a bottle of Jack Daniels on Punks head. Hoping this leads to another great bout between the two. And knowing Jericho's drive to not be a one trick pony, I'm hoping that their next match will showcase more of what we have seen from them.

Rock and Cena. Sigh. I'm trying to decide on when my Cena rant should come in. I'll say after, so be prepared for literary glory.  I would have never in a billion years expected Rock to win. Why? Because he already won. He won the crowds. He won Hollywood. And probably ate more pie than I could download in a lifetime *sobs*.  Cena NEEDED to win. Granted if he did the Miami crowds would have surely crucified him to the big palm trees that blocked peoples view. Nothing super special about the match. Each man pulled of his signature move, traded punches, yadda yadda yadda.  What pissed me off and what continually pissed me off is Cena's demeanor. The guy laughs off everything. He smiles and jokes about how the people are basically fed up with his bullshit. He came out and said at the pre-Mania press conference that he would fight tooth and nail a heel turn by WWE creative. The guy won't crack. Then he spent the majority of his segment on RAW basically, for lack of a better term, sucking The Rock's d*ck. Sucking it long and hard.

Just shut up man. Blah blah blah i respect the Rock and I want to thank him for the match. NEWSFLASH! The Rock doesn't give a monkey's crap about your thanks. You both talked shit for over a year and you got embraced in front of millions of people trying to take him out with his own move with the ridiculous smile that you always have on your face, and got Rockbottomed. Be mad! Be angry! Ask for a goddamn rematch!! But no, you got in the ring and pulled off the most publicized grundle sucking since Kim Kardashian and…..that other guy who happens to be related to Brandy. And one was far more enjoyable to watch than the other. I'll let you decide. But alas, God has not forsaken me, and Brock Lesnar came out and F5'd Cena. Good. Your Make a Wish Candy Ass needed an F5. Maybe even two. This pleases me greatly.

Now this little tidbit was given to me by one of our readers. Technically I should have seen the Rock's win coming. Cena will do anything (except be a heel) for the WWE. He's a company man. Also he doesn't have a loyal enough following to move onto Hollywood. Being that his fans are about five years old or divorced women, a little tyke isn't gonna be allowed to see Cena in R rated films like the Rock has been in. HAHAH!  This movie has been rated You Can't See Me for ages 12 and below. I made a funny. PRAISE ME!

With Lesnar back, I'm curious how this will all play out. Obviously he will feud with Cena, but to what end? Will Cena get dropped by another Attitude Era legend? Will we see two Paul Heyman guys duke it out soon? We'll keep watching and guessing.

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Avengers VS X-men ROUND 1!

Avengers Vs X-men. 

It's here. It's finally here! It doesn't matter who you are, you know at least one of them, and you know there's a side you'll root for. Whether it's Captain America, Iron Man, Spider-man, or Thor; Or whether it's Cyclops, Wolverine, Storm, Rogue, or Colossus- You have a favorite, and stuff is about to get messy.

So it's here, let's see what this issue has to offer.

[SPOILER ALERT]

 So we start the issue off with the arrival of a Nova. We're not sure which Nova it is, only that he crash lands and is intercepted by the Avengers. The X-men are on their Utopia, with Cyclops training Hope for the arrival of the Phoenix. Things heat up, literally. Cyclops takes the training too hard, and fed up with no answers, Hope unleashes a Phoenix blast of her own. 

During this time, Captain America and Iron Man have brought the threat of the Phoenix to the government's attention.The sensors go off, picking up on the activation of the Phoenix powers, and action needs to be taken.

First, Captain America takes to the Jean Grey school to talk to Wolverine. While not directly getting involved, Wolverine gives insight to how Cyclops will react. the answer is simple; given the history with Jean Grey and the Phoenix, he will take it personally. Additionally, it is revealed that Wolverine and his school will remain neutral. At least, for now that is.

Captain America arrives on Utopia next to retrieve Hope. Here's the stances as of now:

Avengers: Take Hope into custody. No further plans are revealed, but the intention is to protect the world from the arrival of the Phoenix.

X-men: It's a mutant problem, let the mutants handle it.Cyclops feels that the Phoenix will bring rebirth and that it is what the mutant race needs.

So both opinions are out there, and what is the reaction? Well it should be obvious, or it wouldn't be much of a series...

Of course we know the next part: AVENGERS ASSEMBLE. And now it's on, so we have to wait for two weeks to see where it goes next. One thing I was privileged to find out is that in Issue #2, Wolverine will witness something that is going to....well lets just say he'll have quite the opinion!

This actually has audio- Brian Michael Bendis gives a little monologue for your enjoyment.

Ok, so look up again. you're probably wondering why half of the image is in black & white. No no, it's not an error. It's actually a neat little addition that has been added. On certain panels, you'll notice a small red bx with "AR" in it.So for the above image, you get to see it being drawn and inked.

This is a little fuzzy, but it's neat to see a little extra on Hope.

 If you have a smartphone, download the AR reader app. What this little app does is, through the camera, catch the AR panels and gives you a little extra.Of course to make this work, you'll need an internet connection, which most smartphones have. Your iPod Touch or iPad might not have the 3G network, but you're reading your issues at home anyway, right? And they're not ALL Black & white evolutions through to inking. There's an info card on Hope, a little monologue and input by Brian Michael Bendis, and a little info on the Jean Grey School, including the current students.

So that's it. Either you'll love this, or you'll hate it. You either get it, or you don't. There's no need to convince you, you know the answer. Obviously, we'll be tracking this through each battle and each issue. Whose side are you on?

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