WWE Smackdown Lowdown 9/14/2012

 #smackdown

The Brough Kick:  Banned?!  However will Sheamus handle his opponents?  With White Noise, the Celtic Cross and the Cloverleaf, of course.

Alberto del Rio opens the show in the ring with Ricardo Rodriguez and David Otunga, both in neck braces.  Ricardo breaks down on the mic, thanking people for their support and Otunga takes over.  Otunga calls AJ irresponsible for putting him against Sheamus and calls her unstable.  ADR shows us video of Christian being Brough Kicked at Night of Champions last year.  Christian joins us via satellite and is less than thrilled to be on.  Christian says he doesn't like Alberto and hopes Sheamus beats him at NOC.  Christian says he's doing this for all the superstars - He says that since the Brough Kick last year he hasn't been the same.  Christian says that the Brough Kick should be banned even though he respects Sheamus and Otunga cuts the feed.  ADR goes back to calling Sheamus a peasant and Daniel Bryan, the man beaten at Wrestlemania by the Brough Kick, interrupts.

Bryan comes out and asks the crowd not to say YES, so of course they do.  Bryan thanks the crack legal team in the ring for bringing this "case" to light.  Bryan says that he's only a goatface because Sheamus has kicked him so many times.  Tonight will be a Wrestlemania rematch between Bryan and Sheamus.  The crowd starts a "goat face" chant and Bryan loses his mind, yelling at the crowd that he won't be taken by surprise again.  Sheamus comes out and says Brough Kick or not, Bryan would have been taken by surprise.  He continues that those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.  Otunga approaches Sheamus on the apron and he grabs him by the neck brace, dropping him across the top rope.  Otunga sells it like a shotgun and holds his neck on the mat.

Interesting angle - A bit over the top as far as the "courtroom cheese" and Christian comes off like a whiner because of where Otunga cut him off, but it's effective none the less.  Bryan is embracing the "crazy man" bit he's been working - His beard is obviously not being trimmed to make him look like a nutjob, and it damn sure works.

Match 1:  Sin Cara vs The Miz (Intercontinental Champion), non-title
Winner:  Sin Cara via pinfall

Miz is visibly upset by Cara's lighting but goes to work booting away at the luchador.  Miz picks up Sin Cara for a vertical suplex for a near fall.  Miz with a whip and Sin Cara with a hurricanrana after ducking a clothesline.  Miz punches Cara from the floor to stop the momentum and head into a commercial.

Miz is still in charge with a chinlock and Josh Matthrews calls Sin Cara "MISTifying" (cute call back to Mistico, yes we know you know your stuff).  Miz keeps Cara grounded and then backs him into the corner with more striking.  Miz heads to the opposite corner and hits the running corner clothesline, then heads to the top for an axe handle for two.  Back to a chinlock and Sin Cara fights to his feet and elbows out, then lands a schoolboy off the ropes.  Miz responds with the backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for another two count.  Miz wants the corner clothesline again and this time Cara dodges, leaving Miz to crotch himself.  Cara with kicks to the leg then a quick dodging sequence ending in a hurricanrana and an enzuigiri from the apron.  Miz tries for Skull Crushing Finale but Sin Cara counters and tries for La Mistica - Miz doesn't seem to quite know how to take it and Cara ends up landing on his feet holding Miz's arm.  They call an audible and Cara wins with a majistral cradle.

Not bad, but it's a little odd that Miz didn't seem to know how take his opponent's finisher - Not like we haven't seen it enough on TV.  Kudos to (I assume) Cara for calling the majistral switch up to avoid any further awkwardness.  He's someone who gets a lot of flack for botches and sloppiness, so that's a tick in the "good" column for him tonight.

Matt Striker catches up with Miz and says that he's been beaten or embarrassed by Mysterio, Cara and Rhodes lately.  Striker asks him how he feels about facing a mystery opponent and Miz mocks his "brainbusting" question (I laughed).  Rhodes walks in and says he attacked Miz from behind because he wants the IC title.  Mysterio says he pinned Miz in the tag match and deserves a shot.  Sin Cara points at the belt; Rhodes says you don't get anything by pointing.  Teddy Long walks in, so I guess we're getting a tag match for the IC title..Nope, it's a Fatal Four Way for the IC Title at Night of Champions.

Kane is in the back with Dr. Shelby and a stress ball.  In walks Bryan to critique Kane's use of a stress ball, as well as his use of Daniel Bryan as a weapon on Raw.  Dr. Shelby makes a couple of ball jokes and both men seem to enjoy the stress relief.  Kane says his is bigger and walks off.  Both men also say they want to be Tag Team Champions.  I am SO looking forward to this moving forward.

Match 2:  Kofi Kingston (Half of the Tag Team Champions) vs Kane
Winner:  Kane via pinfall

Kofi tries to open up with speed and avoids being thrown out of the ring, but Kane takes over with a right to the face.  Kane punishes Kofi in the corner and nets a near fall.  Kofi fights up from the mat, but Kan puts a stop to it with a knee.  Kane with a clothesline in the corner, then one in the opposite corner.  Kane wants a side slam, but Kofi floats around him for a DDT.  Kofi wants Trouble in Paradise but Kane catches him by the neck.  Kingston avoids the chokeslam and tries to attack from the top rope, but jumps into a Chokeslam.

Ok, so Kane just beat half of the tag champs in about two minutes, with no issue.  How are we supposed to believe that Truth and Kingston have any chance on Sunday?  Dr. Shelby comes out on the stage and looks at Kane; he gets back in the ring and picks Kofi up by the neck.  Shelby looks at Kane again and he hugs it out with Kofi.  Kofi goes bug eyed with shock and Doc Shelby gives Kane a golf clap.  That's it, Kane and Bryan need to win on Sunday AND Shelby needs to stick around and "manage" them.  There's just no getting around it.

Striker has Orton in the back, questioning why Orton would ask for a match with Tensai.  He wants a tune up for Sunday.  Orton is excited for Night of Champions because he wants to tear Ziggler a new one.  As usual, Orton talks for two minutes to make a 5 second point.  He ran through a whole rigamaroll about Ziggler cashing in on someone at NOC which could mean Orton leaving as champion.  Who says their match would then be for the title?  Bad logic leads to bad promos.  Orton should just stick to being the tough, monotone guy.

Match 3:  Randy Orton vs Tensai
Winner:  Randy Orton via pinfall

Tensai backs Orton into the corner and is immediately greeted by "Albert" chants.  Albert blocks a clothesline from Orton so he throws  a spinning back elbow and a dropkick, but gets swatted away.  Tensai tries an elbow, but Orton dodges and then drops a bevy of knees.  Tensai takes over with a throat thrusts and gives Orton a couple elbows in the corner.  Orton kicks his way out, but Tensai won't give up the control.  Tensai with headbutts now.  Orton ducks a right hand and unloads in the corner with rights and clotheslines.  Off the ropes, Tensai explodes out of the corner and shoulders him down.  Orton rolls outside for some space and Tensai gives chase.  He rolls Orton in and is slow to get in himself, which leads to Orton holding him back first over the top rope, delivering European uppercuts to the back of the head - That's new.  We always say Randy needs something new, and there you go.  A dropkick sends Tensai back to the floor and us to a commercial.

Tensai hits Orton in the corner and wants a Vader Bomb; he lands it for two.  Tensai with elbows to the back of the head.  Now a nerve hold, which Cole actually calls.  Orton tries to fight up but Tensai grounds him then tries it on both sides.  Orton fights out and strikes away at Tensai then hits a powerslam.  Tensai rolls to the apron and Orton wants the spike DDT.  Tensai fights it but ends up getting spiked for two.  Orton stomps at the limbs and Sakamoto gets on the apron to get punched right off.  The Viper coils on the mat but Tensai avoids the RKO and hits the chokebomb, but Orton rolls away from the Senton and hits the RKO for the win.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to ruin Orton's celebration and says Ziggler didn't appreciate the comments earlier tonight.  Vickie advised him to take the night off and says that at Night of Champions he'll defeat Orton.  Orton says that since Vickie is talking to him and his back is turned it can only mean...Orton spins and coils as Ziggler is about to roll into the ring.  Ziggler turns tail and runs around the ring and up the ramp.  Now, wrestlers are NOT supposed to know when they're getting attacked from behind.  That's some fourth wall breaking stuff there.  Hard to call this one.  If Orton is going to be back in the title picture, he needs to beat people.  But Ziggler really needs to be getting strong wins, preferably without any chicanery.  I'll guess Ziggler, if only to set up the two of them for a title chase once Ziggler cashes in.

United States Champion Antonio Cesaro is in the ring with Aksana.  Cesaro is upset that a battle royale will determine his challenger and says "outraged" in five languages.  Tyson Kidd comes out to interrupt.  Kidd says he'll make things in clear in Canadian.  After Sunday, he'll be a former US Champ, eh?  Cesaro tosses Kidd over the rop rope and challenges anyone else to come out...leading to Brodus Clay storming the ring.  Cesaro tries to calm the Funksaurus down and turns into a Tyson Kidd kick, then back into a Clay headbutt.  Clay and Kidd dance.  Aren't these guys theoretically opponents in two days?  Also, I was absolutely looking forward to Kidd starting a program toward a title, but I guess I should have known better.  He's still one of the most grossly underutilized talents in WWE and I don't know what it will take for them to realize it.

Wade Barrett comes out and reminds us that he's open for business.  Next week, someone "samples the product" and then business will be booming.  Barrett is a welcome return, as he's just great at being a smarmy, full of himself SOB who can actually back it up.

Match 4:  Kaitlyn vs Beth Phoenix
Winner:  Kaitlyn via pinfall

The two strongest divas in WWE going one on one.  Beth with an early headlock and when Kaitlyn throws her off, she hangs onto the hair to keep hold.  Odd transition into some mix of a backslide and a reverse snapmare and Kaitlyn gets thrown off then ends up on the apron.  She slides under the bottom rope and between Phoenix's legs into a pin, then tries a jackknife pin.  Phoenix powers out of both and lifts her into a Canadian backbreaker but Kaitlyn slips out and shoulders her down.  Phoenix answers with a knee and then runs Kaitlyn into the top rope after she tries a rear waistlock.  Phoenix tosses her to the mat and rubs her face on the mat for a two count.  Kaitlyn fights to her feet but gets deposited into the corner.  Kaitlyn gets the boot up as Beth rushes her and hops to the second rope, but Phoenix drags her to the mat.  Time for the Glamslam, but Kaitlyn slips under and hits a Reverse DDT for the win.

Aside from the odd backslide thing in the open of the match, pretty solid action.  It's expected as both women are very athletic.  Personally, I'm sad to see Kaitlyn using a reverse DDT instead of the lotus lock/leg full nelson she was using on NXT and on various other shows, but I'm a submission guy.  I am happy, however, to see a young fresh diva have a title shot on a PPV.  Not on the pre show, not some other nonsense, but actually on the PPV.  I don't expect her to win, as Layla really hasn't done anything with her title run and it would be pretty anti-climactic, but something with Kaitlyn moving forward would be appreciated.

Raw Rebound, Punk, respect, etc etc.  It was a strong close to Raw with Punk, Cena and Hart in the ring.  Curious to see how Heyman ends up involved.

Eve is in the back and congratulates Booker T on his choice to ban the Brough Kick.  Long repeats the sentiment and we get an awkward fist bump/handshake moment.  Eve has business with Booker and Long is left alone.  They've been playing at this for a while with Long being envious of Eve, but they've done nothing with it so far.

Match 5:  Sheamus (World Heavyweight Champion) vs Daniel Bryan, non-title
Winner:  Sheamus via submission

Arm wrenches back and forth and Sheamus knocks Bryan down with a shoulder to open.  Otunga, Rodriguez and ADR are watching in the back.  Another "goat face" chant breaks out and Bryan does some breathing exercises to settle himself.  Sheamus with another shoulder block and when Bryan tries to leapfrog him off the ropes, Sheamus catches him for the rolling fireman's carry.  Bryan kicks Sheamus, but runs into a back elbow, then gets clotheslined to the floor.  The commentators tout (not Tout) the Cloverleaf, mentioning Dory Funk Jr and Dean Malenko - I guess Sheamus plans on keeping it around this time.  Bryan drops Sheamus on the apron then hits a low dropkick on the floor to take some control back.  In the ring, Bryan hits the running dropkick in the corner for one.  Bryan drapes Sheamus' arm across his shoulder then kicks away at him.  Another arm breaker and now a hammerlock on the mat from Bryan.  Sheamus fights out but gets a knee to the gut.  Bryan wants another corner dropkick but whiffs this time and Sheamus pulls himself up to the top rope and hits a diving shoulder.  Sheamus now with axe handles, a shoulder in the corner and a knee lift.  Sheamus tries a powerslam but Bryan avoids it, then runs into a tilt a whirl backbreaker, which Cole calls the Irish Curse yet again.

Bryan avoids the Cloverleaf but ends up on the apron and Sheamus catches him for the chest forearms.  Bryan screams no as he's bent backwards and Sheamus screams yes as he goes to work - nice verbal spot.  Sheamus rushes Bryan on the apron but he quickly sneaks in and around for a schoolboy.  Sheamus is out in two and gets a drop toe hold into the second turnbuckle, then Bryan kicks the rope into his face.  Bryan with a kick to the side of the head and another near fall.  Bryan is starting to lose his temper and takes it out on Sheamus' chest with kicks.  Sheamus catches the attempt at another head kick and backs Bryan into the corner, but Bryan fights out and jumps off the middle rope.  Sheamus catches him and goes for the actual Irish Curse this time, but Bryan catches him in a guillotine.  Sheamus immediately backs him into a corner, but Bryan holds on.  Sheamus is down to one knee but gets back up and toesses Bryan over, who makes it a sunset flip for two.  Bryan wants the Nolock but Sheamus fights off and finally lands the Irish Curse.  Cole:  "Another Irish Curse backbreaker!"  Not all backbreakers from Sheamus are the Irish Curse, damn it.  Sheamus locks in the Cloverleaf and Bryan screams "NO" to tapping.  Sheamus drags him back to the middle of the ring and Bryan squeaks out a "yes" as he taps.

Great match - Sheamus and Bryan are a great dynamic with Sheamus' power and Bryan's technical/striking game.  I'll admit I see the logic in Sheamus beating the premier submission specialist in WWE to "establish" his Cloverleaf, but I've never been a fan of a non-submission guy tapping out a submission guy.  If Sheamus keeps the Cloverleaf around, it's a bit more of that "next John Cena" evidence we've been seeing, with suddenly including a signature submission hold in the repertoire.  Regardless of all that, a solid main event with great integration of Bryan's current gimmick.

The Champion stands tall amidst a disadvantage, Bryan and Kane are poised to become Tag Champs and the challenger to the Divas title is a young up and comer.  Interesting dynamics at play for Night of Champions, since the matches tonight all contributed in one way or another.  The Smackdown before a PPV usually isn't that solidly focused on building the show, so congrats to them.

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WWE Raw Wrapup - 9/10/2012

Raw opens up strong in Montreal with Bret Hart making his way to the ring with the crowd going ballistic.  The Hitman can barely get a word in over the proud Canadian crowd and recounts the "Montreal Screwjob" as being a dark but ultimately proud day, thanks to the Canadian fans.  CM Punk, decked out in pink and black gear, interrupts and slowly meanders to the ring.  The WWE Champion walks around Hart a few times and says that the last 15 years have been detailed more than enough.  Punk goes into "what if CM Punk wrestled Bret Hart back in 1997 instead of Shawn Michaels?".  Hart says he would have tapped Punk out in a minute with a Sharpshooter.  Punk disagrees and says that the WWE we know wouldn't exist - The Attitude Era would never have been born and Punk would have jumped to WCW, leaving the WWE to die.  Punk takes exception to Hart's "Best there is, was and ever will be" catchphrase.

After some jawwing back and forth and mocking of Jerry Lawler, Bret Hart has the boys in the back play a recap of Punk kicking Cena in the skull and driving off with Paul Heyman from last week.  Punk asks if Cena has Hart's back tonight like he had Lawler's.  Bret tries to retort and Punk reminds him that he has now been WWE Champion longer than Hart ever was.  Punk continues on about respect and cementing his legacy.  He says that at Night of Champions, he'll put Cena to sleep and The Hitman quips that that's what he's doing to the Montreal crowd right now.  Punk says he'll turn Cena into a beaten, broken shell of a man...just like Hart.  The WWE Champion leaves the arena to a resounding "Asshole" chant.

Strong open - The "respect" train of thought continues to barrel down the tracks and Punk verbally unloaded on Hart without holding anything back or ignoring any of the "truths" about that day in Montreal.

Tonight's Raw-Action:  Does CM Punk face Brodus Clay, Jerry Lawler or Randy Orton tonight?

Match 1:  Kofi Kingston and R-Truth (Tag Team Champions) vs The Miz (Intercontinental Champion) and Antonio Cesaro (United States Champion)
Winners:  Kofi Kingston and R-Truth via pinfall

Cesaro says "prestige" in five languages.  Talk about blowing a good portion of your talent load on the first match.  Three champions in the opener of the show.   Miz and Kofi open and Miz takes a big time monkey flip.  Truth tags in for a double team russian leg sweep and knee drop/elbow drop combo.  Cesaro comes in and gets tossed to the floor, allowing Kofi to spring off of Truth's back for a dive, taking both opponents out and leading into a commercial.

Cesaro is in charge with Truth in a chinlock, which he quickly fights out of.  Cesaro tags in Miz who drops Truth across the middle rope for two.  Miz takes Truth to the corner and pounds away at him, then gets some space and hits his corner lariat.  Miz heads to the top rope and drops an axe handle across Truth's back for a one count.  Miz into a chinlock of his own and Truth fights out again, but takes a big knee to the gut.  Miz hits the ropes but gets caught with a leg lariat, forcing a tag on both sides and Kofi running wild on Cesaro.  Kofi hits his chops, dropkick and jumping clothesline, then the Boomdrop.  Kofi wants Trouble in Paradise and Miz interferes on the apron, allowing Cesaro to hits a body shot.  Kofi counters out of the corner and hits a top rope crossbody, with the pin broken up by Miz.  Truth takes Miz out and gets dumped over the top by Cesaro.  Cesaro tries a schoolboy but Kofi kicks out and hits Trouble in Paradise for the win.

Can't argue with the Tag Team Champs beating a random pairing, but a win for Cesaro here wouldn't have been a bad call.  Yet another standard tag team match with nothing new; Cesaro and Miz barely got to hit any signature offense and Cesaro especially should be showing his repertoire at every chance.  The kiddies love them, but it might not hurt to bounce the tag titles to the next team quite soon.

Sheamus is chatting with Bret Hart as they head to commercial, after a recap of the banning of the Brough Kick.  Not exactly Earth shattering, as he still has White Noise, the Celtic Cross and the Cloverleaf...

David Otunga deposes Sheamus with Ricardo Rodriguez present about the banning of the Brogue Kick..  They're desperately trying to capture the comedy of Bryan/Kane in anger management, but it just doesn't flow quite as well.  Sheamus eventually Brogue Kicks the camera, causing "static".  It all leads up to Otunga vs Sheamus in the ring.

Match 2:  Kaitlyn, Eve Torres and Layla (Divas Champion) vs Beth Phoenix, Natalya and Alicia Fox
Winners:  Kaitlyn, Eve Torres and Layla via pinfall

I guess Alicia Fox is a heel tonight since she wore a black fur...and because they ran out of Divas.  Kaitlyn and Beth open and Beth overpowers her.  Kaitlyn quickly turns it around with pressure in the corner and a pair of shoulder blocks.  Natalya tags in and the Divas of Doom double team Kaitlyn for two.  Fox kicks Kaitlyn as she hits the ropes, leaving Nattie to hit a discus lariat for two.  Fox tags in and hits her customary northern lights suplex for two.  Kaitlyn dodges a kick in the corner and tags in Layla to take out all three opponents.  Layla with a gut kick and double springboard cross body.  Eve tags herself in hits her neckbreaker on Fox for the win.

Eve over-celebrates as she sells her new "happy" Diva gimmick; this at least helps to move this forward even though it's patently obvious she's full of crap.

AJ is in the back looking borderline comatose and Punk approaches her - He's upset that he has a match tonight but Cena doesn't, only six days out from his title shot.  AJ says that since Punk walked out on the people last week, they'll choose his fate this week.  To be honest, it really isn't fair that Punk has a match and Cena doesn't!  Brodus Clay shows up and smiles at Punk.

Match 3:  CM Punk (WWE Champion) vs Randy Orton
Winner:  Randy Orton via disqualification

The WWE Champion is match 3 on the Raw before Night of Champions...If it wasn't for the "respect" gimmick going on right now, I'd call shenanigans on that.  For now, it makes sense to not make sense.  Orton wins a whopping 75% of the Raw-Active Twitter vote, with Lawler getting 13% and the Funkasaurus netting only 12%.

Punk with an early headlock and a shoulder block.  Another headlock and another shoulder block and Orton answers with a hip toss.  Orton's turn for a headlock and Punk backs him into a corner and delivers knees.  Now a backbreaker for one.  Punk with a chinlock that Orton immediately starts to stand up from, but Punk puts him right back on the mat.  Orton fights out now and delivers various strikes in the corner.  Punk leapfrogs in the corner and narrowly avoids an RKO by rolling to the floor.  Punk starts to leave, but Orton chases him down and punches him back to toward the ring.  Orton gets on the apron and Punk kicks his leg out from under him to gain a bit of momentum back, into a commercial.

Punk has Orton in an abdominal stretch, but Orton hip tosses his way out.  Orton follows with a jumping knee drop but comes up empty.  Punk returns to working the midsection of Orton with a knee and a stomp, then delivers a Bret Hart-style driving elbow to the gut.  Cole, being as "astute" as he is, says that it's key that Punk drops the elbow HBK-style since that's who Hart faced in Montreal 15 years ago.  Cole is just outright bad at his job at this point.  Punk ascends the next corner wanting an axe handle, but Orton crotches him and sets up for the top rope superplex, landing it.  Punk kicks out at two and both men are slow to get to their feet.  They fight from their knees up to their feet with Orton keeping the advantage.  Punk lands a kick, but Orton lashes out with two clotheslines, wanting his powerslam.  Punk avoids it, but walks into a back body drop, then rolls to the apron.  Orton with a kick and setting up for the spike DDT.  Punk kicks his way out and springboards for a clothesline, getting a two count.  Punk wants the GTS, but Orton counters; Punk counters an RKO attempt, but Orton hits his backbreaker for two.  Orton throws Punk to the apron, this time hitting the spike DDT.  Orton coils for the RKO but Dolph Ziggler attacks from behind.  Punk gets knocked to the floor and Orton hits a powerslam on Ziggler.  Punk runs in from behind and takes a powerslam for himself.  Orton coiils once again, but Ziggler attacks again.  Punk grabs the feet of Orton, which lets Ziggler lay into Orton.  Lawler drops his headphones and comes to Orton's side.  Orton disposes of Ziggler and Lawler and the Viper stand tall.  They head to the floor and fight into a commercial.

Back to the show, we have restarted as a tag match

Match 4:  Dolph Ziggler and CM Punk vs Randy Orton and Jerry Lawler
Winners:  Randy Orton and Jerry Lawler via pinfall

AJ Lee has restarted this as a tag match during the commercial.  Ziggler is in control on Orton, but Orton explodes out of the corner with a clothesline and the limb stomps.  Now the rope rebounding vertical suplex for two on Ziggler.  Lawler tags in and dropkicks Mr. Money in the Bank in the face, then lands the second rope fist drop.  Lawler drops a second one but Ziggler kicks out at two.  Ziggler hits a dropkick of his own to take control of the match back.  Ziggler with the jumping elbow for two.  Ziggler cinches in a headlock and Lawler fights out, but Ziggler clotheslines him right back down.  Ziggler showboats and hits a snap elbow drop on The King, then goes into a chinlock.  Lawler fights out with a belly to back suplex and Orton gets the tag.  Ziggler catches the double two clotheslines and powerslam from Orton but counters the spike DDT and tosses Orton over the top to the floor.  Paul Heyman makes his way to ringside to chat with Punk on the floor.  Vickie goes ballistic on the pair since they're chatting about what to eat tonight.  Ziggler continues to fight Orton in the background, dropkicking his knee, but missing the Namedropper.  Ziggler counters the RKO with a schoolboy for a two count, but gets up into the RKO immediately after for the loss. 

I do quite literally mean "in the background" - The camera stayed focused on the dinner planning between Punk and Heyman with just enough angle to catch the ending of the tag match.  Ziggler suffers yet another loss and Punk continues to show that he only cares about himself.  The match was just ok.  More standard tag action with signature offense sprinkled on top.

Heyman and Punk are leaving the arena and Matt Striker asks what the nature of their relationship is.  Punk says he's a Paul Heyman guy and leaves.

A replay of last week's "hug it out" segment with Bryan and Kane with some sappy music playing.  Kane is in the back and Daniel Bryan approaches - Both were told that the other had something to say to him.  The doctor from anger management has set this up and asks how they feel.  AJ asked him to come, since they were so close to a break through.  Dr. Shelby says his plan will either solve the problem or send them into an abyss.

Match 5:  Heath Slater vs Ryback
Winner:  Ryback via pinfall

Slater makes a "Zack Ryder can't get laid" joke and demands his rematch.  Zack appears on the Titantron and says that tonight it's not RyDER...it's RyBACK.  Slater is less than enthused.  Immediate "Goldberg" chants from the crowd as Slater locks in a headlock then gets ejected from the ring.  Slater gets back in the ring and gets shouldered to the mat.  Slater punches Ryback and the feeding machine answers in kind.  Slater with a neckbreaker and Ryback is out before the one count.  Slater kicks at Ryback's back which has no effect, then hits a DDT for a no count again.  Slater kicks Ryback into the ropes, who rebounds with the big lariat.  Next up is a high spinebuster and a deadlift powerbomb.  Ryback calls for the end and hits Shellshocked.

Despite the "Goldberg" chants, the WWE Universe is enjoying the hell out of Ryback, happy to chant for and with him during and after the match.

The Primetime Players show up to AJ's office.  They act goofy, which they are amazing at.  AJ says that PTP are not the number one contenders to the tag titles and Titus O'Neal calls a personal foul on her.  They haven't beaten one team quite yet...Kane and Daniel Bryan.  Fire and Yes is a go.  The end game of Bryan/Kane as tag champs could still come to fruition!

Match 6:  Daniel Bryan and Kane vs Primetime Players, Number One Contenders Match
Winners:  Daniel Bryan and Kane via pinfall

The dynamic of Kane and Bryan is proving to be comic gold and their hugely different styles could make for some fun tag team offense.  Plus, with the way the two main title pictures are right now, this is a top notch use of Bryan's ability to flow between goofiness and technical mastery.

Kane and O'Neal start off with Kane taking the early control in the corner.  Kane tags Bryan in forcibly and he lays in with kicks on O'Neal.  Bryan ducks a clothesline and O'Neal blocks an okana roll attempt, letting Young tag in and take down Bryan.  Titus tags right back in and they hit Bryan with a double shoulder for two.  Titus with a huge scoop slam and elbows in the corner.  Young tags back in with a northern lights suplex for two.  Young with a cravat and a back elbow after Bryan fights out.  O'Neal tags back in and gives Young a gourdbuster onto Bryan.  O'Neal chokes Bryan in the ropes then attacks in the corner.  Bryan fights his way out with kicks and a European uppercut.  Titus overpowers him with a ribbreaker and stomps away.  O'Neal with another tag to Young who stops a Bryan comeback attempt with a snapmare and chinlock.  The announce table is oddly quiet during the match - They're going for one to two minutes at a time with absolutely no sound.  Bryan begins his comeback and hits a head and arm suplex.  Kane wants a tag and Bryan says NO.  Bryan heads to the top rope and whiffs a diving headbutt.  Young capitalizes with another chinlock.  Bryan fights out and hits his forearm off the ropes.  Bryan is still very tentative about tagging in Kane and opts to kick the chest of Young instead.  Bryan finishes with a running kick and gets close enough for Kane to tag himself in.

Kane with a pair of clotheslines in the corners and a side slam for two.  Kane's turn to head to the top rope this time and he hits a diving clothesline.  Kane wants a Chokeslam and gets it.  Titus gets tossed over the top and Bryan tags himself back in.  Kane takes exception and Chokeslams Bryan onto the already down Young, which results in Bryan laying on top of Young for the win.

Kane raises the arm of Bryan, who falls back to the mat selling the effects of his partner's brilliant tag team maneuver.  I mean hey - When Titus gives young a gourdbuster onto the opponent, Young is fine.  That Chokeslam was basically the same thing.  This dysfunctional tag team is a comedy gold mind of the very best possible caliber.  My vote is for Fire and Yes to win at Night of Champions.

Match 7:  Alberto del Rio vs Tyson Kidd
Winner:  Alberto del Rio via submission

ADR goes right to work aggressively striking at Kidd, but he's able to respond with kicks of his own.  Kidd goes for a Sharpshooter or Dungeon Lock early but gets kicked off and Alberto keeps the aggression up.  Kidd dodges an approaching del Rio, leaving him on the floor, then kicks his chest from the apron.  Kiss rolls ADR back in but comes up empty on a springboard elbow drop, letting Alberto kick him on the mat.  ADR wants to show off and lock in a Sharpshooter, but Kidd turns it around and puts one on himself.  Kidd has him in the middle of the ring, but ADR fights to the ropes.  Kidd misses a legdrop on the apron, hurting his back.  This leaves him open for an armbreaker across the bottom ropes and the Cross Armbreaker in the middle of the ring.

Can't have a show in Montreal and not have a Hart family member (close enough, in Kidd's case) slap a Sharpshooter on a heel.  ADR says that tonight was nothing compared to what he'll do to Sheamus at Night of Champions.  He already lost the Brough Kick; next is the World Heavyweight Title.

Cut to Cole alone at the announce desk - He says that Lawler collapsed at ringside and has been taken to the back for CPR and medical assistance.  Cole is visibly shaken, on the verge of tears and drops the all-too-rare but normally quite serious "This is not part of the entertainment" line.  This explains the odd silence during the tag match; they likely cut the mics where necessary and Lawler's was obviously removed.  If this is not at all a part of an angle, then we of course send our best well-wishes to Jerry Lawler.

Match 8:  Sheamus (World Heavyweight Champion) vs David Otunga
Winner:  Sheamus via submission


Otunga with a cheap shot as Sheamus is removing his t-shirt to take the early control and more silence from a solemn Michael Cole, who in quick shots, you can see is distraught.  Sheamus fights back and lays in repeated knees and stomps to a grounded Otunga.  Otunga rolls to the apron and falls victim to the forearms to the chest.  Sheamus drags him back in and hits the Irish Curse.  Sheamus locks in the Cloverleaf and Otunga taps, showing that Sheamus "doesn't need" the Brough Kick.

I'm ok with Sheamus using the Cloverleaf - It's a move we haven't seen enough on TV for far too long.  Like the Boston Crab, it can be seen as a back-focused move because of the body position, but since the leg pressure is present it wouldn't hurt Sheamus to add a few leg-focused moves into his repertoire, just to round things out.  As it stands, the Irish Curse is a feasible lead up to it.  Sheamus heads back to the ring after leaving and warms up to Brough Kick Otunga.  Sheamus hits it and AJ comes out to reprimand him.  Booker T comes out to interrupt her and handle his business.  If Sheamus throws another Brough Kick while the internal investigation goes on, he will be stripped of the World Heavyweight Title.  Once agian, Sheamus just showed he has other moves in his arsenal to wrap up any given match, so this isn't as devastating as it would be to someone like Orton who always finishes with the RKO.

Dr. Shelby is in the back as Bryan and Kane return.  Doc says it was a triumph.  Bryan says he didn't appreciate the Chokeslam, but he could learn to like the team of Daniel Bryan.  Kane puts his name first.  They argue and Dr.. Shelby declares them Team Friendship, prompting a dual "NO".  Like I said, the best kind of goofiness in wrestling. 

The full rundown of announced matches at Night of Champions plays with no commentary from Cole, as he was pulled off the table during the previous commercial.  Cole is now back at the table, reiterating that the Lawler situation is NOT part of the entertainment tonight.  Lawler is receiving oxygen but is able to breathe on his own.  Cole says that out of respect, commentary is done for tonight, save any update on Lawler's health to be given to the fans.

Match 9:  Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes
Winner:  Cody Rhodes via pinfall

Mysterio stomps on Rhodes early, but he responds with a drop down right to the face ala big brother Goldust.  Rhodes with knees to the gut off the ropes as he continues to keep the offense going on Mystero.  Now a gourdbuster and a kick, then raking Mysterio's face with his forearm.  Mysterio thrwos kicks back but Rhodes catches him in position for Crossrhodes.  Rey fights out and dumps Rhodes to the floor then delivers a hurricanrana off the apron.  Back into the ring, Mysterio avoids a slam but takes the Beautiful Disaster for two.  Rhodes argues with the ref and stomps away at Mysterio.  Rhodes charges Rey in the corner, but he dodges, sending Cody into the ringpost.  Rey follows up with a headscissors and a lucha style bulldog for a two count.  Rey with a big kick to Rhodes after he ducks for another nearfall.  Mysterio heads to the top and lands the senton.  Rhodes answers with a powerbomb attempt that Rey sneaks out of.  Mysterio dropkicks The Miz as he runs out of the back to the apron, which leaves him open to Crossrhodes.  Miz tries to get in the face of Mysterio after the match, but Rhodes delivers Crossrhodes to the Intercontinental Champion as well, lifting the belt to remind us where he feels it belongs.

Miz keeps up aggresssion toward his opponent for Night of Champions and Rhodes makes sure to make a statement that he wants the title.  Good stuff all around.  Odd to watch a match on TV without commentary.

Cole with another update on Jerry Lawler:  Lawler is "more responsive" at the hospital and getting a CAT scan.  That sounds better.

Bret Hart interviews John Cena

Lots of HBK comparisons thrown about and Cena with humbleness, thanking Hart for including him in a comparison to Hart/HBK, prompting a "you can't wrestle" chant.  Cena tells Hart he couldn't lace his boots for him.  This is a man who in the last two weeks said that he MUST go out night after night, week after week, thinking he is the best in the world, so that he can stand up and fight...and he's brown nosing.  Cena says that Punk assumes that a title by any means necessary equals respect.  Hart calls Punk phony, which draws him out from the back.  Cena begs for Punk to come fight.  Punk gets in the ring and talks trash and declares himself better than Shawn Michaels.  Punk harkens back to Hart making Austin pass out at Wrestlemania XIII with the Sharpshooter, saying he's better than Austin.  Then he says he's better than The Rock, due to him beating The Rock up.  

Cena says that as long as Punk has been WWE Champion, the title has been irrelevant.  Punk made the most noise the night his mic was cut.  Punk talked of change and won the title, but never delivered the change.  Cena says the difference is he went from underdog to odds on favorite as himself; Punk doesn't know himself at all.  Cena says that Punk's "by any means necessary" method of keeping the title isn't how a champion should act.  Cena switches to French to appease the Montreal crowd and then begins to translate, but Punk interrupts.  Cena gets mad and says that he'll kick Punk's ass at NOC.  Punk goes for a cheap shot on Hart and Cena stops him.  Punk tries again and this time Hart blocks him and gives him a right of his own.

When Cena shows intensity, he's at his promo best.  The main problem is he goes from simple explanations and exposition to fired up intensity as quickly as he goes from completely beaten up to no-selling an entire match, which makes everything seem cheap.

Cole closes the show letting us know that Lawler is breathing on his own and his heart is beating on its own.  A relatively solid show, moving multiple storylines forward and reminding us about Paul Heyman.  Instead of running any more criticism, we'll instead hope for Jerry Lawler to make a speedy and safe recovery.

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Cartridge Chronicles: Metroid

Hey folks, sorry about the tardy output lately, life just got really busy but I have been doing some gaming and, as promised, here is my look back at another iconic title on the NES, Metroid.

Like the Legend of Zelda, as a child I assumed that the main character’s name was the title of the game, in this case, Metroid. I was again surprised to find out that not only was the main character a woman, but her name was in fact Samus Aran. I discovered this when I played Super Smash Bros. with my neighbor on the N64. This game would, like Mario and Zelda, launch a long line of successful sequels. This game, however, I found to be ridiculously difficult as a kid, and it hasn’t gotten much better now that I’m an adult.

Here is what you are going to face when you plug in Metroid. You start off on a platform with some epic entrance music and a decent soundtrack for an NES title. You have to go left first so you can collect this orb that makes you be able to turn into a ball. Yes, you turn into a literal ball and no it doesn’t bounce. Then you go right from where you started and the fun begins. You are attacked by bats from the ceiling and on the floor are what I can only describe as a bad Jersey Shore haircut with a face and legs. It’s like you versus a bunch of Pauly D’s heads.

In the next room you encounter what look like mosquitoes carrying crabs that fly and swoop at you plus more Pauly D heads. Then you get to a long vertical hallway with more heads and what I can only describe as golden invincible croissants. Yes I said croissants, the delicious French crescent-shaped buttery bread. I looked it up and they are supposed to be bugs, but all they do is fly back and forth, forcing you to time your jumps from platform to platform. They are basically just a golden 8-bit middle finger from the developers to the players.

After that there’s a room with what look like flying razor clams that hate you and want you to be miserable, and the ground of course is lava so you have to be accurate with your jumps while also avoiding the clams from hell. This game is damn difficult right from the start and I, personally, have never beaten it without cheating. The last boss of the game is a brain in some glass, reminiscent from such villains as Evil Con Carne from Grim and Evil, and Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

To sum it up, the game is hard as hell and the chances of you beating it are slim, unless you are God or Chuck Norris, or you have a lot of spare time on your hands to practice. The game is good, but try it before you buy it. I do enjoy the soundtrack and the game is fun before you decide to rage quit. It is definitely a game you want to play while your friends are around for a good laugh. In the next installment of Cartridge Chronicles I will be covering everyone’s favorite lovable pink marshmallow, Kirby in Kirby’s Adventures for the NES.

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Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark in IMAX

For those of you who don’t know, the first Indiana Jones movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark was recently re-released in the movie theaters in IMAX. Indiana Jones, alongside Star Wars, stands at the top of the list of my all-time favorite movies, so seeing it in the movies for the first time ever was a necessity. Raiders of the Lost Ark is just one of those movies that my entire family enjoys and that is why I went with my dad and brother. Unfortunately, the movie is only released in IMAX, so the ticket price was pretty steep, but this is Indiana Jones and an exception was made.

Although the ticket price was pretty high for an old movie, the visuals were stunning and the audio was amazing. I actually felt like sounds were coming from different directions and my dad actually jolted to move out of the way of water that was in the movie just because the sound was so crisp. My advice to those going to see IMAX movies is to sit in the middle of the theater if you can help it. Sitting too close, the vibrations of the sounds could be too much and the movie seems too loud. In the back of the theater the screen doesn’t seem big enough.

Even though I have been watching this movie for literally 21 years, the first glimpse you get of Indy’s face outside the temple still gives me chills and a feeling like “this guy is a badass and he knows what he’s doing.” Call it a wonder that I’ve carried from childhood to adulthood, but I still get excited watching this movie and I still hope for the best when things turn bad, even though I know full well what is going to happen and what is going to be said. My brother and I are horrible people to watch movies with if we know the movie well because we will say the dialogue with the characters throughout the movie and laugh when we get the lines right (and when we get them wrong too).

For those that are Indiana Jones fans I definitely recommend shelling out the $13.50 to see the movie. It was a great opportunity for someone like me who was raised on Indiana Jones but was born too late to have been able to see it when it was first released. If you have kids that can handle some light cursing and a guy getting chopped up by a propeller, I promise it is an experience they won’t soon forget either. There is just something about watching a movie in the theaters that an HDTV or a PC just can’t provide. Hurry to get your tickets though, because it is only running for one week. It started on the 7^th and will run till the 14^th. This is in preparation for the Blu-Ray release of the entire saga on September 18^th. If the Blu-Ray set is as visually stunning as the IMAX release, then be sure to pick up a copy of the saga, I know I will.

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