WWE Smackdown Lowdown 4/10/2012

Tonight is "Blast from the Past" on Smackdown.  That's pretty much code for "go out to dinner tonight, folks".  Usually these gimmick shows have something to pull them out of the bottom of the barrel, and luckily this one pulled it out, but we'll discuss this later.  Tonight's Smackdown was the perfect compliment to a lackluster Raw, since it left me thinking "I didn't need to see this at all".  Let's get started.

To open the show, "Mean" Gene Okerlund is out to introduce "one of his favorites", World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus.  Sheamus apologizes for his actions last week (booting a ref clear out of his shoes), to a chorus of "Daniel Bryan" chants.  John Lauranaitis comes out and shows a clip of what Sheamus just apologized for.  He then forces Sheamus to apologize again, first to the referee, then all the referees, then the entire world.  Apparently this isn't good enough for Johnny, who tells Sheamus he's on a permanent probation; fired if he should make any physical contact with any WWE ref and then slaps him with a $500,000 fine.  As the cherry on this heel authority figure sundae, Sheamus will team up with Mean Gene to face Alberto Del Rio and Daniel Bryan tonight.

This was...something.  Johnny is usually a bit more subtle about being a jackass, but here we have a hyper-typical authority figure throwing his weight around.  Not a good progression for him.

Randy Orton is in the back with his father, "Cowboy" Bob Orton, who wishes his son luck in tonight's opening bout.

Match 1 - Randy Orton vs Mark Henry

Henry opens by tossing Orton into the corner, but Orton punches his way out.  Henry headbutts Orton, who responds with more right hands, but then takes a Henry power-slam.  Papa Orton is watching on a screen in the back.  Back from a commercial, Henry is wrenching Orton's head and delivers a headbutt for two.  Henry goes back to the neck wrench.  Orton tries fighting out again, only to take a headbutt and a splash for two.  Henry delivers shoulders in the corner and then a body attack.  Henry delivers another and gets another two count.  Henry whiffs another splash attempt, and Orton fights back - two lariats and a kick to the knee to set up for a DDT for a close two count.  Orton tries his middle rope spike DDT, but Henry escapes and tries the World's Strongest Slam.  Orton goes up and over Henry, lands and tries the RKO, but Henry shoves Orton to the outside.  Henry gives chase, but ends up eating the ring post and a European uppercut.  Orton rolls back into the ring and Kane's pyro and must go off.  Kane appears on the Titantron and congratulates Orton on being able to be a savage.  Kane has Bob Orton in the back, which leads Randy to rush to the back.  Randy finds his father fallen and Kane attacks him with a pipe to the gut and back then leaves the Orton men laying in the back.

Winner: Mark Henry via countout (unannounced)

First and foremost, no end of this match was announced.  At the least, announce the count out that should have occurred.  The Ortons got attacked by Kane, so I'm sure we'll see some blow-off for this at Extreme Rules.  Back from a commercial break, they recap this via replay.  It just happened; we don't need to recap it yet.

Ted DiBiase Sr and Tony Atlas are in the back, ready to watch the next match, which Tony explains to the world will be a squash match.  This is one of the worst things to come out of a guy's mouth before a match.  I hope somebody laid into him for that one.

Match 2 - Ryback vs Benny Kamer

Ryback indeed proceeds to squash a local guy named Benny - He opens with a brutal lariat that flips Benny upside down, then deadlifts him into his finisher, which is some amalgamation of a torture rack, a Samoan drop and a muscle buster.  It's also completely unnamed by the commentators.

Winner: Ryback via pinfall

Mick Foley heads down to the ring, ready to commentate and joins the boys at the table.



Match 3 - Heath Slater and Tyson Kidd vs Jimmy and Jey Uso

Slater and Kidd are accompanied by Jimmy Hart.  Jimmy proceeds to yell at Mick Foley through his megaphone, for no real reason.  Kidd and one of the Usos have a hip toss fight across the ring and Kidd ends up on the apron.  He hops over for a rollup, but Slater has blind tagged himself in.  Slater takes charge, but the Usos nab a blind tag.  Uso #2 lands a forearm on Slater, but Kidd breaks up the pin, then walks into a double team Samoan drop.  Slater takes a Samoan drop and a Superfly Splash for the loss as Jimmy Hart crawls through the ring; apparently Mick Foley had enough of his megaphone crap and put on Socko.  Foley eventually nabs Hart in the ring and sticks Socko in his gullet.

Winners: Usos via pinfall

I'm always happy to see Mick Foley, but this is such a waste of his time.  Tyson Kidd being on TV is good, as he is really a young talent who should be focused on a lot more, but he was made to look like a total goof, which is a shame.


And this brings us to the saving grace of tonight's Smackdown:  Piper's Pit with Daniel Bryan.  Piper invites Bryan to the ring, who comes out to a chorus of "YES" chants.  Bryan is at the point where regardless of what a rat bastard WWE makes him out to be, the vocal fans will love him.  Bryan proudly announces that in his rematch with Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Title, he can pin and submit him, as it will be a 2 out of 3 falls match at Extreme Rules.  Roddy invites AJ to the ring to discuss the breakup.  She tells Piper she's happy and honored to be on the Pit.  She says that Daniel is a good person deep down and that Wrestlemania was her fault and her mistake.  She wants to talk to Bryan.  Piper tells AJ that she's strong, she's smart and she's beautiful.  Piper explains that Bryan has been using her.  Bryan tells AJ that if she ever loved him, she should leave the ring now.

After a bit of apprehension and talking down from Piper, AJ hops out of the ring and heads to the back.  Bryan goes to follow, but Piper stops him.  Piper says that Bryan is all about "YES", but here's a few "NO"s.  You don't tell a lady to shut up.  You don't yell at a lady.  You don't shield yourself with a lady.  That's a coward.  And that's Bryan.  Piper says now he's excited for the 2 out of 3 falls at Extreme Rules:  Now he can see Sheamus kick Bryan's head off twice in one night.  The crowd gives a quick "NO!" chant and Bryan slaps Piper across the face, then bails out of the ring.  As one would expect, Piper is peeved and wants Bryan to step back in the ring, but that would be end of the segment.

Bryan and AJ both played their parts incredibly well, and Piper is always a good addition to this type of exchange.  We may not have 'advanced' much as far as the characters, but just some consistency is a big help at this point in WWE.  AJ didn't just turn around and see the light - she's bordering on a battered-girlfriend, at least from an emotional standpoint and I for one would love to see some more come of this.  Highlight of the show, by far.

Match 4 - Great Khali, Alicia Fox and Natalya vs Drew McIntyre and the Bella Twins

Drew gets tossed by Khali and quickly tags out to Nikki.  He says he's better than this and bails on the match.  Alicia comes in and she and Nikki take each other down by the hair.  Alicia lands a northern lights suplex on Nikki and gets the pin.

Winners: Great Khali, Alicia Fox and Natalya

Alicia somehow bridged too soon on the northern lights so the execution looked a bit odd.  Natalya and Brie didn't even tag into the match.  If this produces some kind of advancement with Drew McIntyre's character, then ok.  If not, thanks for wasting our time, WWE.

A new Damien Sandow promo plays - He's all about sophistication, but no word on his in ring debut, which is what matters most.

A replay of Kane and the Ortons from earlier tonight plays.

Raw Rebound to Cena and Lesnar's scrap and the end of the night.

Mean Gene and Sheamus are in the locker room and Sheamus tells Gene that there's a good chance they won't win tonight, but after the night is over they'll drink to remember or forget.

Match 5 - "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs Hunico

Duggan punches Hunico out of the ring, but Camacho imposes; Duggan calls Sgt. Slaughter down for back up.  Back in the ring, Duggan whacks Hunico and Camacho over the backs with his signature 2x4, then Hunico gets wrapped up in the Cobra Clutch.  Sprinkle some USA chants over this and I'm about done.

Winner: Hunico via disqualification

Yes, it's "Blast from the Past" tonight, but this is just another waste of everyone's time.  Hunico is actually solid in the ring - I'd much rather have a good match with him and Tyson Kidd than the crap they were involved in tonight.


A recap of Sheamus and Okerlund's locker room conversation plays.  This is totally unwarranted and more time filler.

Back from a break, Cody Rhodes is out.  He says that tonight has been a waste of time and we should look to the future.  Dusty Rhodes comes out to tell his son that he loves him and that he's a natural, but he needs to stop poking the bear that is Big Show.  Cody says they can talk in the back and Big Show comes out.  He shows a clip from Cody's "Dashing" days to embarrass him.  Dusty's old entrance theme plays and he dances.  I think that all kind of speaks for itself, to be quite honest.  At the least, we got a decent Dusty impression out of Big Show.

Back from another commercial, Daniel Bryan is in the ring.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio and we're ready for the main event.

Match 6 - Daniel Bryan and Alberto Del Rio vs Sheamus (World Heavyweight Champion) and "Mean" Gene Okerlund

Howard Finkel introduces Sheamus and Okerlund.  Del Rio opens against Sheamus in what amounts to a handicap match.  Sheamus starts with strikes and a back elbow.  Bryan tags in and lays into Sheamus with kicks.  He follows with more kicks in the corner.  Del Rio tags back in, but Sheamus delivers a back body drop.  Del Rio tags out to Bryan who runs into a forearm from Sheamus.  Del Rio comes into the ring to run interference, but gets tossed out of the ring by Sheamus.  Bryan dropkicks Sheamus out of the ring and Del Rio tags Sheamus with a kick in the head.  Okerlund ends up surrounded by Del Rio, Bryan and Rodriguez, who for some reason is allowed in the ring.  The ref also isn't administering a five count to Del Rio, who shouldn't be in the ring.  Piper's music hits and he and all the legends of the night make their way to the ring.  This distracts Bryan, who turns around into a Brogue Kick for a loss.

Winners: "Mean" Gene Okerlund and Sheamus

The legends surround Ricardo and start handing him right hands, signature spots and a Cobra Clutch.  He eventually gets a Brogue Kick.  The highlight of this clusterfuck, if you have a sharp eye, was Alberto seeing what was about to go down and hopping the barrier, to run away.   Apparently they had a couple minutes of air time left to fill, so Cole climbed in the ring, made a retirement home joke and got punched in the face by Pat Patterson.  That's not a bad way to end the night.

Another throw away show, ever so slightly saved by Bryan in Piper's Pit and Alberto Del Rio being a top notch coward.  I'll be honest - there's not much else to say here.  Nobody made any progress and there was basically nothing of note.  Here's hoping for the next Raw to be better.