Comic Book Men Shatters Dreams, Destroys Lives

I don't want to be that guy right now. You know, the guy who just wants to take a dump on anything Kevin Smith, just because he's Kevin Smith. I personally like the guy, and I understand why he's doing Comic Book Men, but what the hell?

I'll admit, I liked the show until the employees started talking. Bryan is funny because he's fat and has a beard. And he says things like "Awesome" and "I want to ruin Ming's
life".

His sardonic tone makes him seem cool, when he's really just the same douchey, cynical comic book elitist who hates that you read digital comics (nobody cares that you buy individual issues for $1-$2 more, moron).

Comic Book Men should only serve as a podcast, not a television show. The four dudes that work in the shop are dull, boring, and socially awkward. It's hard to watch because you will feel embarrassed for these ass clowns.

The show follows these four studs who work in Kevin Smith's comic book shop in Jersey (cleverly named Jay and Silent Bob's Secret Stash) as they basically do Pawn Stars for comic book nerds.

The only reason it's even on TV is because Kevin Smith says things. The cast is a batch of weirdos who barter with social miscreants in an effort to capitalize on the 18 to man-child demographic on AMC.

There are times where you will hate yourself for watching. It's unapologetic about how awful it is. I took issue with it blatantly ripping off Pawn Stars, only it wasn't nearly as entertaining.

I used to frequent my local comic book shop nearly everyday, and I can count the times anyone ever came in with the rare crap that was featured in the show. It was laughably staged and painful to watch.

I received a text from a friend about the show, and this is literally what he said after watching it:

"I just wasted an hour of my life watching 'Comic Book Men.' Fuck you Kevin Smith, fuck you."

That's word for word, exactly what he said. This was my response.

"If you told Kevin Smith he's not funny, he would lose so much weight."

We immediately went to hating the guy, but why? Well, I think it's because it's embarrassing to think that this is how people view others who read comics.

I liked Red State, it nearly compensated for Cop Out, but someone tell Smith that and he'll spew some vitriolic hateful shit at you. Words like "fuck" and "stain" will be peppered in his tirade as he stands with an XXXL New Jersey Devils jersey to hide the shame. My friend also illustrated Tracy Morgan in Cop Out via text surprisingly well.

"I'M TRACY MORGAN. AND. I. TALK. LIKE. THIS!"

I laughed really hard because I heard Tracy Morgan in that text. Back on topic, I don't hate Smith for this. I know why he did it, it's just a bad show. I can't see it lasting very long, but I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just some asshole with a keyboard and that makes my opinion completely invalid right?

Just watch it, then you can try to find ways to defend it, and then finally embrace the fact that you actually hate it. It's a fun ride really, if you like things that are nearly unwatchable. I mean, that's the stuff I live for.