Golden Globes Live Blog

8:00pm- Golden Globes open up with the amazing Ricky Gervais. And yes, he is still ranking on The Tourist.

8:00pm- Christopher Plummer wins best Supporting Actor. Yeah...he was also awesome in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Umm....why is it that listening to older actor's acceptance speeches is like being water-boarded? Nicole is snoring......

8:15pm- Laura Dern wins Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series. Dr. Sattler looks hot. And I cared more about seeing Mila Kunis' nip through her dress than Ashton's haircut. And I think Nicole and Dan agree!

8:20pm- Downton Abbey wins best Mini Series. Teleprompter  for Rob Lowe & Julianne Moore screwed up. God I love technology...and live TV.

8:24pm- Kate Winslet wins best actress in a mini series. Kate wins everything because of two reasons: one is that she awesome and two James Cameron owns Hollywood and rules it with an iron fist.

8:35pm- Best Actor in a  TV Drama goes to Kelsey Grammer for Boss. As a Breaking Bad fan my heart is crushed. But I hear great things about Boss so I look forward to watching it in its entirety.

8:40pm- Homeland wins for best TV drama. I NEED TO SEE THIS SHOW!!!

8:45pm- Best Original Score goes to Ludovic Bourcic (sp?)....umm...show of hands of people who care about this category unless Howard Shore or Hans Zimmer is in it?

8:50pm- Best Original Song goes to Madonna. She is as immortal as Hulk Hogan. Seriously.

8:52pm- I don't know who that is but her dress is horrible. It was like a sleeveless Snuggie!

9:00pm- Catherine McPhee...marry me.

9:00pm Idris Elba wins Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini Series for Luther

9:01pm- SETH ROGAN IS STILL FUNNY! KATE BECKENSALE IS STILL HOT! and Michelle Williams wins for Best Performance for an Actress in a Mini Series for My Week with Marilyn

9:10pm- Peter Dinklage wins for Best Supporting Actor for Game of Thrones. You all should worship him.

9:15pm- Best Animated Feature Film award goes to The Adventures of Tintin. Spielberg is the most powerful Jew since Jesus.

9:20pm- Woody Allen wins Best Screenplay for Midnight in Paris. Woody couldn't except the award in person because he is picking up chicks at an elementary school.

9:25pm- Jessica Lange wins Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series for American Horror Story.

9:30pm- Best Foreign Film goes to the film The Separation.  *insert inappropriate joke here*

9:35pm- Dustin Hoffman is the man. He made Tootsie! If you haven't seen Tootsie.....then fuck you.

9:35pm- Claire Danes wins the award for Best Actress in a TV Series Drama for Homeland.

9:45pm- PENIS JOKE!

9:45pm-Matt LeBlanc wins Best Actor in a TV Series Comedy. His face was like "I WON AN AWARD AND I'M NOT ON FRIENDS ANYMORE?!?!"

9:50pm- Octavia Spencer wins actress Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture. Someone literally screamed her name at the top of their lungs like they watching the NBA playoffs at a barber shop.

10:00pm- Sydney..................................you.......................................space.........................your.................................words................................so............................................far............................apart.......................you..................douche.

10:05pm- Morgan Freeman.........you're brilliant.

10:15pm- Martin Scorcese wins Best Director for Hugo. His eyebrows have accepted the award on his behalf.

10:20pm- Best TV Series Comedy or Musical goes to Modern Family......I'm Spanish and I have no idea what's going on. But Sofia Vergara is hot.

10:26pm- nope...not posting this...honestly... it's honestly a waste of my time.

10:35pm- Meryl Streep wins. Everything. I'm surprised she hasn't won Best Actor yet...but she will.

10:40pm- Jane Fonda....wanna go out on a date?

10:40pm- The Artist wins for Best Musical. I sigh deeply because as Editor of TV/Film I am obliged to watch this film. I don't want to. But I have to. Chances are I'll eat my words because I have a very accurate trend of hating some movies before I see them then becoming very embarrassed when I actually like it.

10:50pm- George Clooney wins Best Actor in a Drama. He's the reason why Meryl Streep will never win Best Actor.

10:55pm- The Descendants wins Best Drama. Fox Searchlight puts out good shit.