WWE Smackdown Lowdown - 3/23/2012

Friday Night Smackdown – March 23^rd, 2012

So I can tell WWE has read the past couple weeks’ worth of articles, since Josh Matthews informed us that it is 9 days until Wrestlemania 28 to open the show.  We’re close; that countdown is important.  Expect plenty of General Manager associated shenanigans tonight, as that seems to be the main storyline aside from Rock/Cena.

First thing’s first though:  Our World Heavyweight Champion has something to say.  Michael Cole now loves Daniel Bryan, since he’s an egotistical heel.  Very nice, Cole – you hated him months ago, pretty much just for existing.  Journalistic integrity at its finest, folks.  Daniel Bryan has one thing to say to the WWE Universe:  “Yes! Yes! Yes!”.  This is such a fun heel gimmick and the crowd absolutely eats it up.  Bryan gets a bit more serious and asks AJ what it’s like to love the World Heavyweight Champion.  The little lady answers “Heaven”.  She then makes the mistake of addressing him as “Danny” which draws his ire – Seems like something a wrestling crowd would just love to chant.  After some more prepared statements about Bryan’s ability as a lover (I love the idea of the heel champion prepping his girlfriend for his own interview), Bryan asks the crowd to cheer for AJ.   And even better, he’d like them to cheer for him!  Bryan thinks he’s all wrapped up, and Sheamus enters the scene.  Sheamus calls Bryan a sniveling little coward plays off of AJ’s flub, calling him “Danny Boy”, which leads to an immediate chant.  Wrestling fans are so easy to please.  He tells Bryan in no uncertain terms that he’ll kick his teeth down his throat at Wrestlemania.

First Raw replay of the night: Otunga and Santino, leading to a GM-related match-up.

Match 1 – R-Truth vs Mark Henry

Henry with the usual strong start with big strikes.  Truth starts to fight back and Henry levels him with a clothesline.  Henry tosses Truth out to the floor and tells the crowd “Taking out the trash”.  There is nothing better than a vocal heel in wrestling.  Henry palms Truth’s head and squishes it into the steel steps.  Rolling him back in the ring, Henry lands a big right hand for a two count.  Henry whiffs an elbow drop and Truth lands a dropkick to the knee.  Truth does a Miz-style DDT but only gets a one count.  Truth ascends the top rope and goes for a crossbody, but gets caught and given the World’s Strongest Slam.

Winner: Mark Henry via pinfall

Our next Hall of Fame inductee this year will be a posthumous induction for Yokozuna.  Rikishi makes an appearance in the video.  Mil Mascaras also appears on the HoF roster graphic, but I don’t believe he was ‘officially’ announced.  I guess this counts.

Raw replay #2 – The Ryder Rally.  This leads to Team Teddy in the back, and Ryder asking again to join the team.  Teddy says that Ryder’s situation with Eve could lead to too much distraction and it may not be a good idea.  To change his mind, Ryder brings in their new mascot, Hornswoggle, with a Team Teddy flag, as well as Khali, dressed as “The Great Broski”.  This is enough to convince Teddy.  If that’s enough to change his mind on a relatively important decision, maybe he’s not the man for the job?

Match 2 – AJ vs Brie Bella

Bryan and Nikki are ringside in their respective corners.  AJ didn’t get a full entrance here, which is odd, considering word is she may get a legit push soon.  I for one would be thrilled to see this, as when she’s allowed to get some momentum going, she’s actually quite good in the ring, and as seen earlier in the night, she’s not afraid to be on the microphone and she’s far less awkward or ‘actress’-like than the rest of the divas.  Bryan gives AJ a kiss for good luck.  Brie opens with a headlock and tosses AJ down by her hair.  Bryan shouts for AJ to use her speed in this match.  That’s actually good advice.  Another headlock, which AJ escapes and lands a back elbow after, but she gets caught and dropped on the top rope for a hotshot.  Brie stomps AJ awkwardly and covers for two.  She bashes AJ into the mat then interlaces hands with AJ and mounts for a two count.  AJ fights out, but eats a clothesline for her efforts.  AJ is stretched on the mat by Brie and Bryan screams at her to not tap.  I said earlier nothing is better than a vocal heel in a match; a vocal heel in someone’s corner might be even better.  “You better not tap” is a hell of a way to motivate the girl.  AJ fights out with kicks and elbows, then lands a headscissors to a fujiwara armbar (La Mistica, if you will).  Brie managed to take this simple bump, where she should end up flat on the mat, horrifically and made AJ struggle just to make her flat.  Nikki hops on the apron, there’s referee-distracting shenanigans, AJ ducks Brie and manages a schoolgirl roll up for the win.

Winner: AJ via pinfall

Booker T once again heels on a legit win by a perceived underdog, solely because she’s associated with the heel champ.  Booker has no independent thought process on the mic – he just supports faces and hates heels, without any regard for logic.  Please put William Regal into this booth!  The Bellas get in the ring and Nikki, who didn’t lose this week roots for Team Teddy and Brie roots for Team Johnny.  Nikki does an awful cheer-leading spot and makes the crowd spell.  Great use of air time.

Raw replay #3 – Ziggler pins Truth, thanks to nefarious circumstances courtesy of Vickie Guerrero.

“Excuse me!” starts our next segment, with Vickie introducing Jack Swagger.  Still not sure why she gets to introduce her clientele whenever she feels like it.

Match 3 – Jack Swagger vs Zack Ryder

Swagger comes out and does his pushups and line-cross bit, while Ryder comes out with Hornswoggle and the Team Teddy flag, which Cole heels on.  The match starts out with Swagger completely out-wrestling Ryder, which is fair enough, given his background.  Ryder fights back with a schoolboy and a dropkick, but ends up eating the turnbuckle as he runs in, followed by a big overhead powerslam from Swagger.  Swagger lays boots to Ryder in the corner and follows with a shoulder throw and a keylock.  Ryder fights out to the apron and dodges a rushing Swagger, putting a boot into his chest.  Back in the ring, Ryder gets knees up to block an incoming Swagger, then lands a forearm, clothesline and a facebuster.  Ryder hits a running elbow in the corner and the Broski Boot for two.  He sets up for the Rough Ryder, but gets caught and takes a bucklebomb and a Swaggerbomb as a counter.  Swagger lays elbows into Ryder’s ribs (becoming a bit of a signature for Swagger) and Hornswoggle chases Vickie up onto the apron.  Swagger protects her from what is apparently a vicious little person and turns around into the Rough Ryder for a three.

Winner: Zack Ryder via pinfall

Not exactly clean, but Ryder makes his return to Smackdown and gets a win over the man who took his United States Championship from him when he was injured.  The commentary booth made a passing reference to this.

Raw replay #4 (this is getting to be a bit much) – Cody Rhodes lights up the Big Show.  This leads to a 

quick “earlier today” segment with Cody saying that on April Fool’s Day the biggest fool of them all will once again choke on the big stage.  This continues to point to Show giving Rhodes his comeuppance at WM, but I still do not want to see Rhodes lose his Intercontinental title to Show.  They keep talking about Rhodes being one of the longer reigning IC champs, as well.

Flo Rida will be playing The Rock out at Wrestlemania.  This is a horrible idea:  The entrance is one of the most important parts of a wrestler’s personality.  When that music hits, you know exactly what is about to happen.  My prediction is the usual “IF YA SMELLLLL” clip will play and then Rida will play a remix of Rock’s theme.

Match 4 – Big Show vs Kane

Punches and throat thrusts to start out.  Show knocks Kane down with a clothesline and the fight goes outside.  Kane dodges a clothesline and Show ends up wrapping his own arm around the ring post.  Maybe this will play in, leading into Wrestlemania against Rhodes?  Kane lands boots and a low dropkick for one.  Kane settles into a chinlock, but Show powers out and they hit a double clothesline on one another.  Think that’s the biggest set of wrestlers I’ve ever seen do that spot. They land big rights on their knees, get to their feet and trade headbutts and clotheslines.  Show lands a corner buttbutt and a shoulder tackle (Booker T was calling for a spear – can’t call things right when they happen, so don’t bother predicting, Book) but Kane answers with a running DDT for a two count.  Kane climbs up top for his signature clothesline, but jumps into a Big Show chokeslam.  Rhodes slides in and Show tosses him out.  Rhodes runs and Show chases.  Back in the ring, Randy Orton slinks in and lands an RKO on Kane.  Faces are looking strong after this one.

Winner: Big Show via disqualification

I don’t believe the outcome of this was actually announced, but that’s not surprising at this point.  Rhodes continues to heel on Big Show, but Show saw it coming this time.  This might be the match I have the least idea of what they’ll do with at ‘Mania, and that’s not a bad thing.  Some surprises are always welcome. 

Match 5 – Brodus Clay vs Heath Slater

They tie up and Brodus drops Heath straight down, face first.  Heath fights up to his feet and dropkicks Brodus in the knee, followed by an enzuigiri.  He may be the first person to actually knock Clay down since the Funkasaurus gimmick debuted.  Brodus stands up and delivers a headbutt to the chest, sending Slater flying.  He lands a knee, a t-bone suplex and a big splash for the win.

Winner: Brodus Clay via pinfall

Starting to allow some offense to befall Brodus is important, as the dancing squash machine is getting a bit tired at this point.  Brodus’s splash looks so much better than Henry’s.

Raw Replay 5 (If they cut two of these out, AJ could have gotten her entrance) – HHH/HBK/Taker

The Lord Tensai spot replays, which is one replay that’s actually okay by me.  At least it’s for a new comer.

Match 6 – The Great Khali vs Dolph Ziggler

Each man enters with his GM.  Christian is on commentary.  A heel on commentary?  With a vested interest in the combatants?  I wonder what will happen!  Ziggler opens with strikes that have no effect.  After a tumble outside, the men end up back in the ring and Ziggler takes frying pan chops from Khali.  Ziggler gives Khali a dropkick and locks in a front chancery.  Khali tosses Ziggler off and gives him a clothesline.  Ziggler dodges the Brain Chop and locks on a Sleeper and the bell immediately rings.  Lauranaitis just montreal-screwjobbed Khali, apparently.  Teddy disagrees and restarts the match, but Ziggler makes no effort to reenter, so Khali wins.

Winner:  The Great Khali via countout

Kofi and Santino run out and toss Ziggler into the ring to take a Brain Chop to end the segment.  On their way, they bump Otunga and he spills his coffee.  That part was far more entertaining to me than it should have been.  Nobody really looked great here leading into the 12-man tag match.  Ziggler looked great in the ring, but he can take a broomstick to a five star match, so that goes unsaid.

Match 7 – Sheamus and CM Punk (WWE Champion) vs The Miz and Daniel Bryan (World Heavyweight Champion)

Sheamus and Bryan to start, but a quick tag out to Miz.  We’ll see a lot of that tonight.  Sheamus with a big headlock takeover.  Sheamus blocks a hip toss attempt and delivers a clothesline.  A tag out to Punk, who comes off the top with an axe handle to Miz’s arm and a scoop slam.  Punk continues the attack with an arm wringer and tags to Sheamus, who delivers an over the top rope shoulder block.  Sheamus lands an early Irish Curse backbreaker, but Bryan breaks it up, drawing Sheamus to chase him.  Miz knocks Sheamus to the floor and Bryan delivers a low dropkick to Sheamus – the same kick that cost Sheamus a match one week ago.  With a face in peril on the floor, it’s the perfect time for a commercial break (it’s really not).  

Back from break, Miz delivers a boot to the face and slaps a chinlock on Sheamus.  Sheamus fights out and lands a back body drop, then tags in Punk.  Punk lands a flying clothesline, a neckbreaker, a knee and bulldog in the corner and climbs to the top for an elbow drop.  Bryan distracts and this leads to Miz landing his swinging DDT and tagging in Bryan, who is met with “Danny Boy” chants (told you!).  Bryan kicks Punk and lands knee drops.  He then wrenches Punk’s arm back and delivers another knee drop for two.  Bryan stretches Punk with a surfboard, but Punk fights up and chops Bryan, only to get cut off with a knee to the gut and a kick to the back.  Miz tags back in and lands a knee lift for two.  Punk fights back with rights, but Miz catches him for the Reality Check.  Punk escapes the neckbreaker portion of the combination and lands a big kick to the head.  Miz makes the tag first, but Punk dives for Sheamus – our Wrestlemania opponents are finally in the ring together.  Bryan turns tail to tag Miz, but nobody is in his corner, since Punk kicked Miz’s head clean off his shoulders.  Sheamus runs wild on Bryan and lands forearms and a powerslam.  Miz finally makes it back to the apron and Bryan makes a desperation tag.  Sheamus again gives chase, but this time he gets the better of his opponents and delivers a Brogue Kick to Miz for being in the way.  That’s good for a three count.

Winners: Sheamus and CM Punk via pinfall

So there’s Smackdown with just over a week left until the big show (which will feature The Big Show).  Teams Teddy and Johnny exchanged actual wins and settled for a silly count out to round out the threesome.  AJ is on a bit of a roll, backed by her champion boyfriend – for her sake, I hope something comes of it.  Brodus Clay continues to be a monster, but actually receives a tiny bit of punishment this week.  Brodus happens to be my pick for ‘unannounced match’ at Wrestlemania.  Big Show and Randy Orton looked strong against their respective ‘Mania opponents this week.  Far too much Raw Replay time this week for my taste – I’d much rather see some matches get more time or a potential-push recipient like AJ actually get to make her entrance.  Seven matches sounds like a lot for a two hour show, but 4-5 of them clocked in under five minutes.  More wrestlers wrestling leading into Wrestlemania isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it’d be a welcome change.

We’ll have some Geek Asylum Wrestlemania predictions coming up this week for you – Please chime in via comments or Twitter (@thegeekasylum and @sbfantom) and let us know what you think will happen and what you think of what we think!