WWE Smackdown Lowdown 4/20/2012

 WWE Smackdown - April 20th, 2012

A week out from Extreme Rules and the card is slowly coming together.  There's still a bit more to hammer out, but WWE has no qualms about waiting until the last minute...or just not announcing stuff.  Awful practice, but we all come crawling back anyway.

Daniel Bryan is out to open, so this episode is already looking good.  The crowd is shown gleefully chanting YES YES YES, but the audio is completely altered to be moderate booing.  Ludicrous, as we can SEE the people chanting and all of their signs.  WWE is deliberately trying to teach people how to 'properly' react to someone; the guy is getting over of his own volition, so just embrace it.  Meanwhile, a YES YES YES t-shirt is on sale at wweshop.com.  Hypocrites.

Bryan tells us that at Wrestlemania, Sheamus took the easy way out.  It's a pretty typical heel excuse, but it's kind of true; Sheamus did blindside him.  At Extreme Rules, there will be no distractions, now that ties with AJ have been cut.  Bryan also points out that ER is in Chicago; the same city where he won Money in the Bank, which helped get him to where he is now.  Bryan says he will shock the world again.  Bryan can and will beat Sheamus twice in one night to reclaim the World Heavyweight Title.  Bryan will show everyone how he wins - By wrestling.  Did Sheamus take the coward's way out?  YES.  Does Bryan have the advantage?  YES.  Will he walk out the World Heavyweight Champion?  YES! YES! YES!

AJ comes out on the stage and approaches the ring.  Bryan tells her to go away and she tells him "No."  This is the only way she can see him and work on their problems.  Bryan tells her that he got rid of his problem.  She wishes Bryan good luck at Extreme Rules and Bryan proceeds to wish that AJ hadn't come out...that he had never met her...that he had never said "YES" to her...and that she had never been born.  He tells her there is no chance of them getting back together.

Brutal come down on the poor girl, but I'm encouraged by more TV and mic time for her, as she's a bit more solid in the ring and on the mic than most of the divas.

Match 1 - AJ vs Natalya

Natalya comes out and when the bell rings, she attempts to console AJ, who has basically shut down on her feet.  A bit more consoling and AJ thwacks Nattie in the face with a slap and proceeds to go ballistic on her in the corner.  After a couple of pull off attempts, the ref disqualifies AJ, who has left Natalya a bruised lump in the corner of the ring.

Winner: Natalya via DQ

This is the aggression, the breakdown, the potential turn that I've been calling for and hoping for from AJ, since at least Wrestlemania.  A bitchy little diva is the character AJ played best in FCW, so a return to a character she plays well (much like Bryan's return to his old indie-days egotist character) could be a driving force behind a push for her.  But this is WWE and she's female, so I'm not holding my breath.

Damien Sandow makes another appearance via video, speaking words written by a moderately intelligent writer trying to sound very intelligent.  That's three weeks now; it's time to debut and do something.

Match 2 - Hunico vs Brodus Clay

Clay asks for the music to be cut and introduces his little brother...Hornswoggle dressed up like Clay.  Michael Cole begins to name dinosaur species because he's an expert paleontologist.  I hate everyone at this point.  Hunico shoves 'Swoggle down, prompting a headbutt and body shots from Big Brodus.  A back body drop, followed by popping Camacho on the apron leads us to the usual T-bone suplex and Splash finish that we all know and yawn at by this point.

Winner: Brodus Clay via pinfall

Dancing ensues and nobody cares.  Introducing Hornswoggle into the mix is not the kind of change I've been asking for, WWE.  Apparently Hornswoggle was a participant, because he is announced as a winner alongside Clay.  Dumb.


Teddy Long is looking for Aksana in the back and is met by Titus O'Neil and Darren Young (Of NXT and Superstars/Smackdown non-fame, respectively) and John Lauranaitis.  Johnny has brought the young men in, when Teddy did not.  This is apparently part of people power, just like anything else Johnny does.  Johnny plunks a Queen's Guard hat on Lon and tells him he's not to speak the rest of the night.  Yes we get it...you're in London.  How about you feature William Regal instead of a hat?

Matt Striker interviews Randy Orton who cuts the same old promo - I can be sick and twisted, Dad's tough.  That's about all he said.

Match 3 - Jimmy and Jey Uso vs Titus O'Neil and Darren Young

Young starts for his team, but the Usos quickly take over.  Chops and quick tags, as expected from a decent tag team.  The Usos land their double team elbow drop for two.  Darren Young gets a boot up and stomps away, then tags in O'Neil.  O'Neil delivers an inverted atomic drop and Darren Young gives the Uso of the moment a drive-by hairpull for a slam and a two count.  O'Neil follows with stomps, forearms and European uppercut.  Young tags back in and delivers a boot and a swinging neckbreaker. 

Young locks in a bodyscissors, leading to Uso fighting up and out, landing a right hand then tagging , allowing a Samoan drop.  This is followed by an ass attack in the corner.  O'Neil breaks the pin attempt, and a blind tag is made.  The new guys debut their double team finisher:  O'Neil lifts the opponent like the Hart Attack and Young jumps off the middle rope with what was either supposed to be a lariat or a neckbreaker - It looked more like a lariat, but we'll see next week.


Winners: Darren Young and Titus O'Neil via pinfall

Pretty standard tag match to introduce O'Neil/Young as a fixture on Smackdown, with a clean win over an established team.  Shame about the sloppy finisher, but these things happen; next week we'll hopefully get another chance to see what exactly they aim for it to be.  With the Colons getting squashed by Big Show/Khali for no reason recently, we may be looking at the next Tag Title contenders.


Raw Rebound to Punk/Jericho, preceded by a "Jerichoholics Anonymous" card.  I guess Jericho has an "in" with the production team.

Match 4 - Alberto Del Rio vs Big Show (Intercontinental Champion), non-title

Del Rio's intro really needs the pyro back - the shower of gold after getting out of a stupidly expensive car was a nice touch.  The Usos get pyro; I'm sure it's in the budget for 'Berto.  Big Show opens strong with a headbutt, then throwing Del Rio into the turnbuckle and delivering a chop.  Show then stands on Del Rio's neck...that cannot possibly be fun.  Show lights up Del Rio's chest with a frying pan chop.

Big Show drops an elbow for a two count.  Don't see that too often.  He then chokes Del Rio in the ropes, followed by a body shot.  Del Rio ducks the next strike and chop blocks Show.  He follows with a jumping stomp, boots to the midsection and a double foot stomp.  Del Rio goes to work on the arm, then kicks Show in the head and drops his leg across the arm.  Del Rio straps on a keylock and then kicks Big Show's elbow.  Then back to the keylock.  Show powers out and attempts a Chokeslam, but Del Rio escapes and delivers another chopblock, then a kick to the back for two. 

More work on the arm, which is nice to see from a submission guy.  Del Rio goes for the spin into the Cross Armbreaker, but Show powers him up in an odd looking belly to back to escape.  Both men are down, and once Del Rio hits his feet, Big Show catches an attempted kick, following with a slap and a clothesline.  Show whips Del Rio to the corner and then gives a body attack, followed by a spear.  Ricardo Rodriguez gets the ref's attention from the apron and Cody Rhodes hits the ring, delivering a Beautiful Disaster to Big Show.  Del Rio gets the three count.


Winner: Alberto Del Rio via pinfall

Cody puts the boots to Show, who gets to his feet, prompting Cody to bail into the crowd and run for his life.  If this leads to a good rematch and Cody getting his title back, I'm okay with it.  If it leads to Big Show whooping his ass again, I'd rather just see this program fall to the wayside.  Cody seems willing to attack giants - maybe there will be a giant-killer gimmick in the running for him?


Match 5 - Danny Lerman vs Ryback

McIntyre and Slater watch in the back; WWE is once again trying to teach everyone how to react to people in the ring.  Stop this; fans can decide for themselves, regardless of how many boos you pipe in for Daniel Bryan.  Lerman delivers a couple of kicks, which Ryback doesn't seem to notice.  Ryback grabs one of the kicks, and delivers a leg trip, then bashes Lerman into the mat.  Ryback then deadlifts Lerman up and delivers a fall away slam, which was cool.  Ryback delivers a brutal lariat, which can only mean his unnamed finisher is to follow - It's still a bit of a cross between a Muscle Buster and a Torture Rack Samoan Drop.


Winner: Ryback via pinfall

Ryback continues to beat local jobbers, which is fine for a time as he establishes his signature moves in the ring and his mannerisms.  New this week: After the match, Ryback yelling at the crowd and camera "FEED ME MORE".  Apparently Ryback eats his opponents.  Good source of protein, I guess.

A replay of Brock Lesnar’s sit down interview from Monday night is shown.  This was a different type of interview for WWE, with a different kind of verbiage from Lesnar.  For once, I’m more than okay with this replaying.

In the back, Teddy Long is now in full Queen’s Guard uniform.  William Regal strolls by and tries to get a rise out of him.  To his credit, Long stays still and stone faced.   It’s nice that Regal appeared on the London show, but some kind of presence outside of NXT from him would be appreciated.  Next to pass Long is Aksana, with Antonio Cesaro (Claudio Castignoli from ROH and other indy feds) on her arm.  Apparently his story in WWE is different than in FCW:  In FCW, he was a Swiss soldier.  In WWE, he is a former rugby player seeking a chance to become a WWE superstar.  Simple, but if it gets him on TV, I’m all for it.  I had predicited Regal would be associated with him, but it looks like that isn’t the route they are taking. 

The six-man tag main event is next, pitting Bryan, Henry and Rhodes against Sheamus, Orton and Khali.  Before the match can really get started, Rhodes sneaks around the ring and clips Khali at the leg, taking him out.  Big Show passes Khali as he is escorted to the back and inserts him into the match.

Match 6 – Daniel Bryan, Mark Henry and Cody Rhodes vs Sheamus(World Heavyweight Champion), Randy Orton and Big Show

Back from the standard “a change happened” commercial break, Orton is opening up on Rhodes with punches in the corner.  Rhodes whips Orton to the opposite corner, but takes a returning clothesline from Orton for a quick one count.  Rhodes is happy to tag out to Bryan, who comes in and takes a hip toss from Orton.  Orton brings in Sheamus to take on his Extreme Rules opponent, but Bryan quickly bails and tags Rhodes back in.  After a break in the corner, Bryan tags in but eats an elbow, some strikes and boots from Sheamus.  Back to Rhodes, who takes a rolling fireman’s carry for one. 

Rhodes answers back with an arm wrench and a knee to the gut, which he follows with a knee drop for two.  Sheamus counters a neck breaker attempt and sends Rhodes out of the ring, but Rhodes skins the cat then takes forearms from Sheamus.  Sheamus follows with a suplex into the ring, but Rhodes lands on his feet and dropkicks Sheamus, sending him to the outside.   With a prone Sheamus on the floor, Bryan drops off the apron and lands a low dropkick (seems like Bryan loves to dropkick Sheamus outside the ring).  With Sheamus weakened, Bryan is more than happy to tag into the match.  Bryan attacks Sheamus on the apron then puts the boots to him.  Henry is tagged in and stomps on Sheamus, the stands on his chest.  Henry clubs Sheamus and chokes him in the ropes.  Rhodes tags in and continues the laying of the boots upon Sheamus.  Rhodes then strikes Sheamus into the corner and, you guessed it, lays boots.

 Rhodes then settles into a hammerlock/chinlock combination.  Sheamus powers up to his feet and backs into the corner to shake Rhodes off, but Rhodes catches him with a drop toe hold into the ropes, then straps on a chancery.  Sheamus powers out again and counters an attempt at the Beautiful Disaster with a shot to Rhodes’ face.  Sheamus makes the tag to bring Randy Orton into the match who delivers clotheslines and a powerslam.  Orton drops Rhodes with the second rope spike DDT, then coils for the RKO.  Bryan hits the ring to run interference, but takes a powerslam from Orton.  Henry is next in the ring and hits Orton with a clothesline.  Rhodes hops on Orton for a two count.  We have a commercial break and Henry tagging in. 

Back from break, Henry has Orton in a neck wrench (seems like anytime we come back from commercial with Henry in the ring, it’s a neck wrench).  Orton fights up to his feet, but takes a Henry headbutt, then Bryan tags back in.  He stomps away at Orton, then whips him to the corner for a signature running dropkick for a two count.  Bryan scoop slams Orton and heads up top, but airballs a diving headbutt.  Both men tag and Henry and Big Show square off.  Big Show clotheslines Henry, then whips him to the corner, followed by a running ass attack, then hitting the ropes for a spear, but Rhodes kicks him in the small of the back as he hits the ropes, leading to Henry landing a clothesline.  Rhodes tags in and attacks Big Show’s arm.  Bryan tags in for some stomps, then Henry tags in for a headbutt.  The quick tags continue with Rhodes back in and attacking Big Show’s legs, followed by a figure four. 

Show doesn’t sit up and takes a two count.  Rhodes tags Henry, who splashes Show while still in the figure four.  Another two count.  Bryan tags back in and DDTs Big Show while he is on his knees for another two.  The fight spills out of the ring.  Sheamus lands clotheslines in the corner and a powerslam for two, which Rhodes breaks up.  Rhodes ends up outside and takes the WMD from Big Show, taking him out of the match.  Sheamus blocks  Bryan’s attempt at the Yeslock and whiffs a Brough Kick attempt.  Bryan scampers to the corner to tag in Henry, who headbutts Sheamus, but ultimately takes a Brough Kick.  Sheamus makes a desperation tag to Orton, who coils up behind Henry who landed neck first across the middle rope.  Big Show tags Henry with the WMD from the outside, and he stumbles into Orton for an RKO and the three.

Winners: Big Show, Sheamus and Randy Orton via pinfall

A standard, but fun six-man tag to close the show.  The faces get the better of the heels who have breaking their balls for weeks and Sheamus is kept relatively apart from Bryan.  A few punches or slams are no big deal, but it’s an excellent call for them to not have landed much offense on one another.  A lot of quick tags from the heels; no egos there, just trying to take their opponents out.

Hopefully next week will continues some of the developments we’ve seen here this week:  AJ’s character has a new facet that should be utilized.  Cody Rhodes is fighting giants.  Antonio Cesaro has had TV time and Damien Sandow continues to cut promos.  I’m sure next week will have some more “Johnny makes Teddy Long miserable” moments, but these are just something we have to deal with at this point.  I’m interested to see if Bryan likes the new crazed AJ or if he’ll continue to rebuke her, causing her to snap further.  Some new life in the divas division is always needed, and AJ is able to back it up in the ring; it would be nice to see her try and impress her submission wrestler ex-boyfriend by strapping on the Octopus on her opponents over a few weeks. 

If WWE is smart, they’ll continue to keep Bryan and Sheamus apart.  I could do without the same old Brodus Clay act next week, but I think at this point we’re guaranteed a Funkasaurus sighting once a week.  As Raw is 3 hours next week, I’d bet that we see him Monday night.  Speaking of three hours Raws, this was supposed to be a draft show, but that has been pushed back a couple of months, so as of now this is a theme-less three hour Raw…I’m not especially excited about that.

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[Video] Marvel President Kevin Feige Talks Avengers, Makes you more excited for May 4th

The Avengers premiered this weekend in Europe, and Hey You Guys had the opportunity to speak with Marvel President of Production Kevin Fiege about the highly anticipated movie. Fiege discusses how the studio managed to (brilliantly) tie in their most popular characters, which eventually led to the inevitable development of The Avengers.

Fiege also talks about the future for Marvel and what direction they plan to go with their "character library". Stay tuned for our review and other coverage on The Avengers.

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Geek Asylum and Friends

Here at Geek Asylum, we want to bring you the best coverage that we can, and with our new affiliates program we now have the ability to do just that.

Geek Asylum has partnered up with three awseome sites who will help us deliver you guys more of the content you want, and we will also be cross-posting on these respesctive sites as well. It's like one big happy family.  

We are proud to announce our partnership with EnthusNation, Galaxy Next Door, and Otaku Gamer. These guys have a wealth of knowledge and writing experience, so expect an unhealthy dose of awesome coming your way in the coming weeks. We would like to thank these fine folks for joining us.



Galaxy Next Door covers video game culture. From art, music, and thoughtful opinion pieces, Mike and his staff will share their passion for video games with our readers.



EnthusNation covers an array of things from tech to gaming. Rob and Marcus are also the ones helping us develop our calloboritive tablet edition on Google Currents, which is currently still under contrsuction.

Gnitro over at Otaku Gamer is a one man show who covers Anime and gaming. Expect to see some anime coverage soon.



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Ghost Recon: Future Soldier Beta Impressions

I was lucky enough to score a beta token off a friend of mine for Ghost Recon Future Soldier Multiplayer Beta…and boy was it worth it. The game only features one game mode (conflict; which is like a team death-match with an objective thrown in there). The controls feel nice and are easy to catch onto, like any other shooter out there. However, in my eyes this game really shines in the animation.You really do feel like you’re in an elite squad of terrorist hunting badasses. As a player you can feel the weight of your weapons and the gunfire around you.

The weapon system in this game is crazy. Think of an RPG exclusively dedicated to guns. That’s what the gunsmith feature feels like in this game. Never before in a video game could you customize the gas system of your weapon or your stand-alone trigger. And with every change you make you see the stats of your weapon change. It really does make you feel like you are truly in charge of your own custom weapon loadout, and just on a side note, the fact that you can cloak into your environment while you play as the recon class is pure awesome. It’s actually very reminiscent of Snake’s suit from Metal Gear Solid 4.

I also found that it takes very little effort to move around the entire map with just the cover snapping feature. The way the Ghosts move to and from walls, to cars, to sandbags is very fluid. I really do feel like I don’t even have to move with my analog stick to get around swiftly. Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t move without cover at all, I’m just pointing out that it's a cool alternative. In fact I can see a player doing that just for bragging rights. I mean people get no scopes and 360 headshots all the time right? Why can’t cover bouncing be a show of skill.

My only real gripe with the game is that the cover can actually be kind of sticky at times. If you are trying to do a blend of cover snapping and free moving then it can get a little irritating at times. For example, I was on a 1 on 1 with somebody and we started playing ring around the rosy. Then, when I was ready to make my move, I couldn't properly dismantle the wall in time and he shot me right in between the eye. On a more minor scale, the graphics seemed to be a bit choppy, but this is a beta after all. I have almost never let graphics ruin a game for me.

All in all I am quite pleased with the Ghost Recon multiplayer beta. They nailed the third person experience and did an excellent job with the multiplayer! I can’t wait to get in on May 22^nd.

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Diablo 3 Open Beta Weekend

This weekend only starting at 3:01 PM EST Blizzard will be launching the Diablo 3 Open Beta Weekend. It will last from today through 1 PM EST Monday the 23^rd. The purpose of this open beta is a stress test on the Diablo III servers to ensure as smooth a launch as possible on May 15^th. So don’t be surprised if there are some connectivity issues or lag as we are all helping Blizzard release an amazing follow up more than a decade after Diablo 2. Come back early next week to get some of my thoughts, feelings and general impressions on this impending release. Happy Beta Weekend my friends, Enjoy!

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WWE Raw Wrapup 4/16/12

Monday Night Raw – April 16^th, 2012

Two weeks until Extreme Rules.  Seems like it’s always a countdown to something in WWE.  Brock Lesnar has been added to the intro credits already; quicker than normal.  I don’t think Lord Tensai is in there quite yet.  As per normal when the WWE is in London, we’ve got the London cab and telephone booth on stage.  Yawn.

Match 1 – Mark Henry vs CM Punk (c), WWE Title Match (No countout, no disqualification)

Cold open to a WWE title match, which speaks volumes about how much WWE values their titles.  Not to say they don’t value CM Punk, but they definitely don’t value the hunk of gold around his waist.  Mark Henry gets the jobber treatment here; even on a recorded show, they couldn’t manage to make room for his entrance for a WWE title shot.  Punk opens with quick kicks to the thighs and movement around the ring.  Henry grabs a hold of him and lays in with a headbutt and a club to the back. 

Punk responds with more kicks, but runs into what looked like a try at a back body drop, but quickly converted into a spinebuster slam.  The action spills outside and Punk lands a suicide dive.  Henry responds with an irish whip into the stairs and then throws Punk into the ring post, followed by a choke.  Henry rushes Punk, but he gets his boot up into Henry’s face twice, then runs the barricade and lands a jumping bulldog, which was a great spot. 

Punk struggles to get Henry into the ring and yells at the ref to give him a hand.  Punk lands kicks into Henry’s back and attempts a hurricanrana off the apron, but Henry catches him and flings him into the barricade to lead us into commercial.  Back from break, Henry has control in the ring with a neck wrench, which he follows with a body attack in the corner.  Henry stands on Punk’s chest, but Punk rolls to the apron and hotshots Henry across the top rope.  Landing outside, Punk heads over to the announce area and grabs a steel chair. 

Rolling back in, Punk lands a jab to Henry’s gut followed by a chest shot, both with the chair, but it’s only good for a two count.  Punk lifts the chair for an apparent head shot, but Henry lands a back kick and takes the chair from a fallen Punk.  Henry whacks Punk across the back, then wedges the chair into the corner (Mark, you should know better – this ALWAYS backfires!).  Punk stops Henry from whipping him into the new hazard and lays into Henry with strikes in an adjacent corner.  Punk hits the ropes for momentum, but Henry clotheslines him.  Henry then settles into a bearhug. 

Punk elbows his way out, then chopblocks Henry and lands a DDT while the big man is on his knees for another close two count.  Punk ascends the top rope and ties a cross body, but Henry catches him.  Henry goes for the World’s Strongest Slam, but Punk goes up and over and kicks Henry in the side of the head, which leads to Henry stumbling to a corner.  Punk lands the running knee, but gets tossed off on the bulldog follow up.  Henry charges Punk, but he dodges and Henry runs into the chair (told you!).  Punk rolls out to grab the chair, climbs to the top and delivers a flying elbow drop with the chair across Henry’s chest.  It’s good for the win.

Winner: CM Punk via pinfall

Chris Jericho appears on the Titantron and it’s more rhetoric about Punk being a potential alcoholic, then he shows cell phone footage of Punk going into a pub today.  Just prior, Jericho announces that he has ‘earned’ a WWE title shot at Extreme Rules, and it will be a Chicago Street Fight.  Apparently losing clean at Wrestlemania and jumping a guy earns you a title shot now a days.  Punk says he had gone to the pub to enjoy some fish and chips with friends, prompting a “fish and chips!” chant from the London crowd.  Jericho says that Punk is heading down the path to alcoholism, and when Punk tries to respond, the ‘feed’ to Jericho cuts out, leaving the champ frustrated.  This was a fun match to open the show; nothing spectacular, but Punk always gets a crowd happy and it’s a good precursor to Extreme Rules.  It is not, however, a good precursor to an Extreme Rules match later in the night.

R-Truth is in the back, dressed as Sherlock Holmes and says he is looking for a job for Teddy Long.  Spoilers: This bit goes nowhere all night.

Match 2 – David Otunga vs Santino Marella (c), United States Championship match

Santino enters and starts peeling off football (soccer) jerseys until he gets to the right team for London. Easy heat and cheers for a face.  Otunga enters and gets no reaction.  That’s even worse than boos.  They lock up and Otunga delivers an elbow and a slam to Santino.  Otunga lays in with forearms to the chest.  Otunga kicks off the ropes to deliver an elevated elbow for a two count.  Otunga whips Santino, but he begins to fight back with signature jabs. 

Santino tries his split dodge, but Otunga has wised up, stops short and boots Santino in the mush.   Santino gets up and walks into The Verdict from Otunga, followed by Otunga hitting the mat for a cover and then immediately floating over to the other side to allow Santino to get his foot on the ropes for a break as the ref counted three.  The match doesn’t end, leading to argument from Otunga.  Santino hits his split dodge, hip toss, headbutt and The Cobra for a clean win to retain

Winner: Santino Marella via pinfall

Okay for a quick match to make the crowd happy, but the rope break spot just reeks of someone who is either still way too green to be in these matches or someone who just outright has no ring knowledge.  Either way, it made Otunga look like a complete moron as a wrestler.  I’m also not thrilled with both Raw titles opening up the show, but there’s not much I can do about that…other than complain.

Lord Tensai is in the back with Sakamoto and is about to be interviewed.  Sakamoto begins to speak, but Tensai stops him.  We fear the unknown, Tensai speaks Japanese, and then “I know what you should fear”.  If it’s not fear itself, I assume he means Tensai.  Not a great bit, and didn’t get much accomplished, but the guy can only do so much with a given gimmick.

Next we have a pre-recorded interview with Brock Lesnar.  Shy of typing this thing out verbatim, a summary: Brock is the youngest WWE champion ever.  He was a UFC heavyweight champion.  He is back in WWE for business and for himself.  He aims to legitimize the company, because everyone is tired of John Cena’s bullcrap.  Cena only became a star because Lesnar left.  Had he remained, Cena would be carrying his bags.  Lesnar says that Cena is scared pissless and shitting his pants.  Lesnar will bring the pain to Cena, because beating people up is what makes him happy.  We’re then treated to a graphic informing us that Lesnar/Cena will be an Extreme Rules match at Extreme Rules.

Match 3 – Zack Ryder vs Kane

We see a recap of Kane making Ryder miserable for months, including chokeslams onto, off of and through various surfaces and being wheeled off the stage.  With a match ready to go, we cut to a replay of Smackdown and Kane attacking the Ortons.  This would have fit better before the men made their entrances, quite frankly.  To open the fight, Kane boots Ryder off the apron and throws him into the announce table.  Ryder is rolled back into the ring and takes a high chokeslam.  Kane grabs a mic and speaks to Randy Orton.  Kane enjoyed the joyful reunion last week, but he’s disappointed that Randy didn’t put up a fight.  So our third match was not a match.  Poor Zack Ryder is made to look the fool yet again.

Winner: No contest

Kofi and AJ are speaking in the back and Daniel Bryan enters.  Bryan says that just because he doesn’t want AJ doesn’t mean it’s open season.  He shushes AJ when she pipes up and says to just watch what he does to Kofi.  Bryan then says “Who did Gene Labell ever beat?” and renames the Labell Lock to the Yeslock, because Kofi will tell the ref “YES!...YES!....YES!”.  After about 10 “Yes”s in Kofi’s face, Kofi turns to go prepare for their match tonight.  If I had to wager a guess, they wanted to see how many “Yes”s they could pull before one of them cracked and Kofi had to bail.  Fun bit and the silliness of the Yeslock works for Bryan’s character at the moment.

John Cena enters the arena to a chorus of boos and tells us that that may very well be the end of his era.  The crowd answers with “Yes” chants.  Cena says that Lauranaitis is now the most powerful man in WWE and he hates John.  Johnny aims to end and replace Cena.  Johnny won’t just fire Cena (even though he’s more than willing to fire his World Heavyweight Champion), he wants to end him via Lesnar at Extreme Rules.  Cena admits that he is a bit scared of Lesnar; any man who says he is fearless is a liar.  Cena will fight Lesnar, regardless of the outcome.  Lauranaitis enters and announces that to prepare Cena for Extreme Rules, he will have an extreme rules match tonight against a mystery opponent, because that’s apparently “people power”.  Next week, on a three hour Raw, Lesnar and Cena will sign the contract for Extreme Rules.  Contract signings or always dumb.

Hornswoggle is reading in a fake library and R-Truth enters through a bookcase secret passageway which perplexes the little fella, who can’t open the bookcase back up.

Match 4 – Kofi Kingston vs Daniel Bryan

Bryan opens with a quick double wrist suplex then “YES”s right in Kofi’s face.  Kofi answers with forearms to the face, but Bryan counters with a whip to the corner and a dropkick.  Bryan lands an armbreaker and an armbar, then wraps Kofi’s arm in the ropes.  Bryan unloads a kick on Kofi, then whips him to the ropes and delivers a knee to the gut. 

Bryan bridges Kofi’s arm up and stomps the elbow.  Kofi gets to his feet and begins to fight back, but Bryan gives him a European uppercut and a kneedrop.  Bryan keeps Kofi grounded with a hammerlock.  Kofi gets to his feet and swings up for an elevated snapmare (which Bryan ends up taking a header into the mat from), followed by signature double leapfrogs and a back elbow. 

On the outside, Bryan whiffs a knee off the apron and Kofi hops to the top turnbuckle and springs off to the outside with a cross body.  Since something happened outside the ring, we head to a commercial!  Back to the action, Kofi counters a hip toss into a monkey toss.  Bryan answers with a drop toe hold to the turnbuckle then stands in Kofi’s chest and neck.  Bryan lands kicks to the chest in the corner to a chorus of “YES”.  Out of the corner, Bryan takes Kofi over with a snapmare and a kick to the back. 

Bryan settles into a chinlock, but Kofi fights out.  Kofi starts with his usual loose and sloppy clotheslines and double chops, followed by the Boomdrop.  Kofi preps for the Trouble in Paradise but Bryan dodges and goes for the Yeslock, which Kofi counters into the SOS for a close two count.  Kofi lands boots in the corner, then counters a rushing Bryan with a kick to the head, then heads to the top rope.  Bryan looks for a superplex, but Kofi fights him off and goes for a flying crossbody, but comes up empty.  Bryan immediately hops on Kofi and locks in the Yeslock for the win.

Winner: Daniel Bryan via submission

The fans go bananas for Bryan and he slaps on the Yeslock again, prompting Sheamus to run out to the ring to help Kofi.  He airballs a Brough Kick attempt and Bryan heads up the ramp.  The men involved in a rematch in two weeks make no physical contact; this is a good call and I hope it continues until the PPV.  The match itself was very entertaining, and short of me hating Kofi’s strikes since he barely makes physical contact with his opponent, the action was solid.

The slam of the week is from two weeks ago.  And is Santino landing a Cobra.  I miss the days of the slam of the week being a big slam…from this week.

Match 5 – Brodus Clay vs Dolph Ziggler

Vickie introduces Dolph, who opens the match with a dropkick.  Clay catches Dolph and delivers a t-bone suplex.  Swagger tries to drag Dolph out, but Clay drags them both in.  Clay delivers a headbutt and then launches Ziggler with a very high flapjack.  Vickie kicks one of Clay’s dancers and laughs, then Naomi (the actual wrestler-dancer) chases her in, Brodus jiggles in her general direction and Naomi shoves Vickie down.  In all of this, Ziggler was disqualified.

Winner: Brodus Clay via disqualification

It was just barely different than a normal Clay match, but the gimmick hasn’t gone any further and really needs to begin progressing, otherwise the crowd is going to get tired of him.

Johnny is in the back and tells Otunga that if he committed and focused on wrestling like he does working for Johnny, the sky’s the limit.  Horse shit.  Eve shows up and they go away to have  a meeting.  And that’s the last we see of that for the night.

Chief Jay Strongbow is honored via a video, as he recently passed.

Truth is still looking for a job for Teddy Long.  He says Long should be GM of Smackdown, as he has so much experience.  Long reminds Truth he was fired from the job.  Great time waster, WWE.  As usual, nothing comes of this.

Match 6 – Great Khali and Big Show vs Primo and Epico Colon

Khali opens with over hand rights and more strikes.  Rosa pulls the Colons out of the ring and they grab their tag titles (oh right, there are WWE tag champs) to bail.  Big Show grabs them and tosses them back in to take Brain Chops from Khali and then Show and Khali land stereo Chokeslams (Khali’s is a Punjabi Plunge, but whatever).

Winners: Great Khali and Big Show

Throughout this match, Abraham Washington (just referred to as AW) is on stage scouting.  We have no idea who he is scouting, and he still hasn’t signed anyone.  Maybe at some point something will come of this.  Maybe not.  Whatever.

Match 7 – John Cena vs Lord Tensai, Extreme Rules Match

Lord Tensai is revealed as Cena’s mystery opponent.  Personally, I like seeing him used as something other than a squash match machine.  Featuring him as a threat to Cena is a good way to elevate him.  The men exchange strikes, but Tensai takes control.  Cena blocks a suplex, and lands one of his own.  Tensai answers with a clothesline.  Tensai whips Cena to the corner hard and boots him in the face.  Tensai whips him across to the opposite corner and hits a body attack.  Cena rolls out of the ring.  Tensai follows and lands kicks.  Right hands from Cena to begin fighting back, but Tensai whips him into the stairs.  Tensai sets up for a powerbomb on the outside, but Cena backdrops him. 

Cena picks up the stairs and hits Tensai in the head with them.  He then rolls Tensai back in the ring.  Sakamoto kicks Cena in the back on the outside and Otunga (who came out with Lauranaitis to observe the match) rolls him back into the ring.  Tensai lands his signature stalling butterfly suplex for a two count.  Tensai grips Cena with a nerve hold, but Cena fights to his feet.  He tries to lift Tensai for an Attitude Adjustment, but can’t land it. 

Tensai whips Cena to the corner again (that’s a lot of whips) but whiffs the body avalanche this time.  Cena lands a shoulder and begins the usual routine.  When he gets to the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Tensai gets to his feet quickly and chops Cena in the face to stop him in his tracks.  Tensai lands a standing senton for a two count.  Tensai drops a leg across Cena’s arm and settles into a fujiwara armbar.  Cena rolls through into a crossface, which was admittedly smooth, but Cole manages to ruin the moment by calling it an STF.   

Where’s the stepover and toehold part of that facelock, Michael?  Otunga hits the ring but gets an Attitude Adjustment for his efforts.  Tensai readies and fires off a Green Mist into Cena’s face and then lands the Baldo Bomb/Derailer/Choke Bomb (Tensai doesn’t have a name for this yet, apparently), which Cole manages to ruin yet again, simply calling it a powerbomb.  On the bright side, the *insert descriptor here* bomb is good for a win over Cena.

Winner:  Lord Tensai via pinfall

Cena’s face is green and apparently burning, so he asks for water to clean out his eyes.  It apparently doesn’t work too well, but the show ends on that note.

A much better Raw than last week, but bookending the show with no-dq matches (not to mention opening with two title matches) is still a bit backwards.  Michael Cole continues to infuriate me with his lack of ability to do his job, other than garnering legitimate hate from fans.  That’s not the right kind of hate.  We now know that Cena/Lesnar will be an extreme rules match at Extreme Rules; not much of a revelation.  Punk/Jericho really hasn’t advanced much, as Jericho continues with the same rhetoric. 

Their match is a Chicago Street Fight…which is also basically an extreme rules match.  Daniel Bryan continues to be a self-made fan favorite; here’s hoping he doesn’t get the Zack Ryder treatment any time soon.  The Yeslock is going to be beloved by the fans over; much more so than his boring old finisher, the Labell Lock.

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The beauty and mystery of Fez

When I first got my hands on Fez I was already apprehensive about the new platform puzzler with the cool ambient chip tune music. Did we really need another game trying to capitalize on the charm of 8-bit? No, we really don't, but that doesn't mean that Fez isn't an amazing experience. I assure you that Fez is nothing short of great. The thing is it's really difficult to pinpoint what it is about Fez that makes it so damn addicting.

Then it came to me--you were in this enigmatic world and you wanted to know more about it. It's the mystery behind it that keeps you going. You really don't know why it is you're doing the things that you're doing or why you have to save the world, you just do it. So why do I have to collect fragments of cubes? Why is the world in danger? What is this place? This is what I found to be the sole reason I kept going forward. I just couldn't stop. I had to know more.

Fez doesn't break any new ground with the 8-bit styling, that's been done to death, but the world is always changing in front of you. Each new door unravels a new and exciting place with new challenges. The music, which is outstanding, coupled with the art style was able to evoke a different feeling every time. 

Some levels have that happy-go-lucky feeling with joyful chip tune music, while darker levels give a sense of foreboding. Fez has this uncanny ability to shift the mood with the music and the art style of a particular level, which is one of the things that sets it apart from similar experiences. Well, that and the games "rabbit hole" effect, as I like to call it.

What I mean by that is that the game takes you on a journey covered in what seems like hundreds of layers. You can never visit all the doors, find all the keys, or uncover the areas with fragments. It's one huge maze where the world is meant to be explored. In other words, the game absorbs you, and at the point you're lost in it. The game doesn't necessarily hold your hand through the process, but it doesn't leave you in the dark either. It gives you vague enough instructions to get by, but the rest is really up to you.

There are times where I became frustrated because I really wanted to see everything the game had to offer in one playthrough, but I realized that wouldn't be possible.The way the game is designed allows you to appreciate the world. That is to say that the puzzles aren't mind-numbingly difficult, the platforming isn't torturous, and the game is generally forgiving.

If you fall off of a platform after reaching the top of your destination, it simply returns you to the last platform you were on. I really liked this aspect due to the fact that in similar titles like Super Meat Boy, with its  painful difficulty took the enjoyment out of it for me. 

Fez on the other hand makes me want to keep playing. I want to find treasures and uncover the mystery behind the world. In fact, I got so engrossed with the game that I would try to discover every door within every level. I guess I felt that if I didn't do that, that I would be missing something very vital. 

I've played the Braids, the Limbo's and the Outland's, but Fez is the only one that wrapped me in its web for five hours when I first played it. Kudos to Ploytron and Phil Fish on creating a game that was well worth the wait. Fez is a simplistic, yet beautiful game, and sometimes that's more than enough. Don't think about it, just buy it. 

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Tron Uprising trailer is 30 shades of sweet

Alright, I'm upset. Kids today have all these awesome animated shows. When I was growing up, we didn't have this fancy stuff. It was all GI Joe, Thundercats, Silverhawks, DBZ, and Reboot. Okay, so maybe it wasn't so bad, but nowadays everything is all CG and pretty.

Disney's new animated series Tron: Legacy starts in June, and it looks damn good. Not to mention that they have top talent to do the voice work, with Elijah Wood, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Mandy Moore, Lance Henriksen, and Paul Reubens--yes even Pee Wee Herman.

To be honest, I can't wait for this. I was a fan of the Avatar series (easily the best animated show of the last decade. Yea I said it), and this looks to have all the makings of a great series. Check the trailer.




Via: i09

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[Video] What would Battlefield 5 look like with Google glasses?

As you can already tell, we love Battlefield, but this video displaying what "Battlefield 5" would look like with Google glasses is pretty amazing. Someone had to go ahead and get creative with it and made something that I would love to see done.

It reminds me of the movie "Gamer" in how the HUD displays itself. You essentially just enter this augmented reality on the fly while wearing your Google glasses. I fell in love with this concept, now if only it becomes a reality.

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Battlefield 3 just keeps getting better

Battlefield 3 is one of the greatest first person shooters out there on consoles and PC alike right now. I recently started playing it again after a few months of inactivity and boy was it worth it! Thanks to the new Rent-A-Server system the online competitive MP is even better than it was before. You can now search for specific game modes/maps at the press of a button. The new server system is exactly what the game needed to keep it fresh until the Close Quarters pack comes out in June (which I am also ecstatic for might I add).

Now I can play on Noshahr Canals whenever I want with the score limit set to 500. That’s right, you read that correctly; 500 kills before the match is over. It’s like playing CoD 4 shipment over and over again to your heart’s content. And this goes for whatever map that you like enough to play on over and over and over again!

Moving on to the close quarters map pack that is set to release early this coming June. I really can't wait until this pack hits Xbox. I’ve always loved the Battlefield franchise in general for its outstanding action and scope. Now DICE is going for a change of pace and moving this awesome warfare into tighter quarters. Just think about this for a second 24 (or 64) trigger happy (irritable) gamers in a very confined and claustrophobic area (by Battlefield standards at least) with the Frostbite 2 engine powering every shell fragment, piece of wall rubble, and gunshot that rings out through the hallways of the towers you will be killing each other in. Check out the video below for a sneak peak at the new Ziba Tower gameplay trailer

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Dust 514: The Game is Changing

This is exactly where you had imagined yourself to be. Congrats kid, you've just accomplished more than 85% of the human population ever will. You lean your head back against the steel framed wall that's surrounded you since you've set off on the mission. Memories silently stir you from your sleepy haze, and the voices of all your loved ones from home start to fade. You look around to your team mates and you wonder if any of them are half as scared as you are. Nah, you think. Every thousand mile journey has its first step, and this one's mine.

The tank comes to a bumpy halt and the anxiety in the room starts to flood in. This is the real deal. Your commander struts in with confidence, just as a man in his position should. He briefs you on the mission: a military base has been invaded and is on the brink of surrender to other forces. Go in, get it done, get out. He throws you and your mates weapons. Chaos quickly burrows in as you hear guns, bombs, screams and calls for help outside the tank. You're nervous, but you can't let that show. The doors open. Do I run as fast as I can and prove that I'm quick and efficient, or do I play it safe, take my time, and make sure I'm not seen?

And then you start to question - who is it that you're fighting for? Do you know anything about these men that you've agreed to fight and die next to? The truth is, you don't know anything. The tank, your armor, your weapons... everything you are was crafted by someone else - somewhere in the world. A voice and brain behind the monitor. You don't know who it is, but you do what you've signed up to do. Friends, this is Dust 514.

Okay, so maybe this isn't your first outer space marine mission. And we've all sat in the tanks, dreading our heavy gear and thrown unfamiliar weapons, but not like this. This is a PS3 exclusive MMOFPS - and even better news, it's free to play. Everything from the weapons you carry, to your gear, the tank, and the team you play on is all under rule by another player in the world who fashioned everything you currently know. This player can control his team any way he wants to, whether for good or for evil, but you have no idea what. You have no say whatsoever.

So you go in and do as you're told. If you win the mission, reputation is built, you earn experience, and you've won the base you just captured. However, another player just lost his base to you, and he's going to bite back with revenge. The game is set in and directly connected to the EVE Online universe. You can also join other EVE and Dust players to form your own alliance to conquer planets and even star systems. You can customize your weapons or buy from secondary markets and get a better deal on a previously crafted weapon.

You have the choice between five different races to play, all from human origin. You can play as the Amarr - one of the most powerful and influential races due to its strong Empire, the resilient Minmatar and deathly opposed to the Amarr for enslaving their tribe, the patriotic Caldari, the democratic Gallente - who serve as the leaders in science, business, and pioneers in artificial intelligence, or the closed-off, enigmatic Jove.



The world of New Eden is inhabited by five major races: the Caldari, Gallente, Minmatar, Amarr and Jove. All of these races are of human origin; their ancestors entered this little part of the universe thousands of years ago through a natural wormhole. Though most of the first settlements collapsed when the wormhole suddenly closed, a few survived. Today’s races are the descendants of those scattered colonies.

Every battle, win or lose, will have its consequences. This is not just another "get shot, live again" games like everything else out there. You're in an interconnected world with hundreds of thousands of players that you will fight with, win with, grow with, and die next to. The future of New Eden rests with you. Take on the role as a Logistics Officer, or be a specialized vehicle pilot, or rush into the glory zone in your customized Assault armor. The choice is yours, but choose wisely.

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Geek Asylum's new podcast starts April 25th





Original art for the show's logo by Laurance Honkoski. Thanks L.

This has been a long time coming. I've been in the process of developing the "Completely Random" podcast for some time (well over 9 months in fact), the problem was we couldn't find a home for it. I didn't want to start a site dedicated to just the podcast. I wanted it to be a part of something, and when Eric Colon approached me with Geek Asylum that's when I knew it had finally found its home.

It should be noted that I'm an absolute perfectionist when it comes to podcasting. From editing to post production, I'm completely anal. I realized that really isn't a good approach, and that's the primary reason my last podcast died (Rest in peace AGP). So this time I've decided to say "screw it", let's just have fun.

Completely Random is comprised of yours truly, Chad Tyler Wherry, and THE Drew Brown to complete the tri-fecta. The show about everything and anything related to the things we like, dislike, and everything in between. There is no paparticular format. If there is a comic we want to discuss, we discuss it. If there is a movie we want to debate about, we will. If there is a game...you get the point. We unanimously decided this we be the best way to go. Join us April 25th to have your life infinitely changed. 

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WWE Smackdown Lowdown 4/10/2012

Tonight is "Blast from the Past" on Smackdown.  That's pretty much code for "go out to dinner tonight, folks".  Usually these gimmick shows have something to pull them out of the bottom of the barrel, and luckily this one pulled it out, but we'll discuss this later.  Tonight's Smackdown was the perfect compliment to a lackluster Raw, since it left me thinking "I didn't need to see this at all".  Let's get started.

To open the show, "Mean" Gene Okerlund is out to introduce "one of his favorites", World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus.  Sheamus apologizes for his actions last week (booting a ref clear out of his shoes), to a chorus of "Daniel Bryan" chants.  John Lauranaitis comes out and shows a clip of what Sheamus just apologized for.  He then forces Sheamus to apologize again, first to the referee, then all the referees, then the entire world.  Apparently this isn't good enough for Johnny, who tells Sheamus he's on a permanent probation; fired if he should make any physical contact with any WWE ref and then slaps him with a $500,000 fine.  As the cherry on this heel authority figure sundae, Sheamus will team up with Mean Gene to face Alberto Del Rio and Daniel Bryan tonight.

This was...something.  Johnny is usually a bit more subtle about being a jackass, but here we have a hyper-typical authority figure throwing his weight around.  Not a good progression for him.

Randy Orton is in the back with his father, "Cowboy" Bob Orton, who wishes his son luck in tonight's opening bout.

Match 1 - Randy Orton vs Mark Henry

Henry opens by tossing Orton into the corner, but Orton punches his way out.  Henry headbutts Orton, who responds with more right hands, but then takes a Henry power-slam.  Papa Orton is watching on a screen in the back.  Back from a commercial, Henry is wrenching Orton's head and delivers a headbutt for two.  Henry goes back to the neck wrench.  Orton tries fighting out again, only to take a headbutt and a splash for two.  Henry delivers shoulders in the corner and then a body attack.  Henry delivers another and gets another two count.  Henry whiffs another splash attempt, and Orton fights back - two lariats and a kick to the knee to set up for a DDT for a close two count.  Orton tries his middle rope spike DDT, but Henry escapes and tries the World's Strongest Slam.  Orton goes up and over Henry, lands and tries the RKO, but Henry shoves Orton to the outside.  Henry gives chase, but ends up eating the ring post and a European uppercut.  Orton rolls back into the ring and Kane's pyro and must go off.  Kane appears on the Titantron and congratulates Orton on being able to be a savage.  Kane has Bob Orton in the back, which leads Randy to rush to the back.  Randy finds his father fallen and Kane attacks him with a pipe to the gut and back then leaves the Orton men laying in the back.

Winner: Mark Henry via countout (unannounced)

First and foremost, no end of this match was announced.  At the least, announce the count out that should have occurred.  The Ortons got attacked by Kane, so I'm sure we'll see some blow-off for this at Extreme Rules.  Back from a commercial break, they recap this via replay.  It just happened; we don't need to recap it yet.

Ted DiBiase Sr and Tony Atlas are in the back, ready to watch the next match, which Tony explains to the world will be a squash match.  This is one of the worst things to come out of a guy's mouth before a match.  I hope somebody laid into him for that one.

Match 2 - Ryback vs Benny Kamer

Ryback indeed proceeds to squash a local guy named Benny - He opens with a brutal lariat that flips Benny upside down, then deadlifts him into his finisher, which is some amalgamation of a torture rack, a Samoan drop and a muscle buster.  It's also completely unnamed by the commentators.

Winner: Ryback via pinfall

Mick Foley heads down to the ring, ready to commentate and joins the boys at the table.



Match 3 - Heath Slater and Tyson Kidd vs Jimmy and Jey Uso

Slater and Kidd are accompanied by Jimmy Hart.  Jimmy proceeds to yell at Mick Foley through his megaphone, for no real reason.  Kidd and one of the Usos have a hip toss fight across the ring and Kidd ends up on the apron.  He hops over for a rollup, but Slater has blind tagged himself in.  Slater takes charge, but the Usos nab a blind tag.  Uso #2 lands a forearm on Slater, but Kidd breaks up the pin, then walks into a double team Samoan drop.  Slater takes a Samoan drop and a Superfly Splash for the loss as Jimmy Hart crawls through the ring; apparently Mick Foley had enough of his megaphone crap and put on Socko.  Foley eventually nabs Hart in the ring and sticks Socko in his gullet.

Winners: Usos via pinfall

I'm always happy to see Mick Foley, but this is such a waste of his time.  Tyson Kidd being on TV is good, as he is really a young talent who should be focused on a lot more, but he was made to look like a total goof, which is a shame.


And this brings us to the saving grace of tonight's Smackdown:  Piper's Pit with Daniel Bryan.  Piper invites Bryan to the ring, who comes out to a chorus of "YES" chants.  Bryan is at the point where regardless of what a rat bastard WWE makes him out to be, the vocal fans will love him.  Bryan proudly announces that in his rematch with Sheamus for the World Heavyweight Title, he can pin and submit him, as it will be a 2 out of 3 falls match at Extreme Rules.  Roddy invites AJ to the ring to discuss the breakup.  She tells Piper she's happy and honored to be on the Pit.  She says that Daniel is a good person deep down and that Wrestlemania was her fault and her mistake.  She wants to talk to Bryan.  Piper tells AJ that she's strong, she's smart and she's beautiful.  Piper explains that Bryan has been using her.  Bryan tells AJ that if she ever loved him, she should leave the ring now.

After a bit of apprehension and talking down from Piper, AJ hops out of the ring and heads to the back.  Bryan goes to follow, but Piper stops him.  Piper says that Bryan is all about "YES", but here's a few "NO"s.  You don't tell a lady to shut up.  You don't yell at a lady.  You don't shield yourself with a lady.  That's a coward.  And that's Bryan.  Piper says now he's excited for the 2 out of 3 falls at Extreme Rules:  Now he can see Sheamus kick Bryan's head off twice in one night.  The crowd gives a quick "NO!" chant and Bryan slaps Piper across the face, then bails out of the ring.  As one would expect, Piper is peeved and wants Bryan to step back in the ring, but that would be end of the segment.

Bryan and AJ both played their parts incredibly well, and Piper is always a good addition to this type of exchange.  We may not have 'advanced' much as far as the characters, but just some consistency is a big help at this point in WWE.  AJ didn't just turn around and see the light - she's bordering on a battered-girlfriend, at least from an emotional standpoint and I for one would love to see some more come of this.  Highlight of the show, by far.

Match 4 - Great Khali, Alicia Fox and Natalya vs Drew McIntyre and the Bella Twins

Drew gets tossed by Khali and quickly tags out to Nikki.  He says he's better than this and bails on the match.  Alicia comes in and she and Nikki take each other down by the hair.  Alicia lands a northern lights suplex on Nikki and gets the pin.

Winners: Great Khali, Alicia Fox and Natalya

Alicia somehow bridged too soon on the northern lights so the execution looked a bit odd.  Natalya and Brie didn't even tag into the match.  If this produces some kind of advancement with Drew McIntyre's character, then ok.  If not, thanks for wasting our time, WWE.

A new Damien Sandow promo plays - He's all about sophistication, but no word on his in ring debut, which is what matters most.

A replay of Kane and the Ortons from earlier tonight plays.

Raw Rebound to Cena and Lesnar's scrap and the end of the night.

Mean Gene and Sheamus are in the locker room and Sheamus tells Gene that there's a good chance they won't win tonight, but after the night is over they'll drink to remember or forget.

Match 5 - "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs Hunico

Duggan punches Hunico out of the ring, but Camacho imposes; Duggan calls Sgt. Slaughter down for back up.  Back in the ring, Duggan whacks Hunico and Camacho over the backs with his signature 2x4, then Hunico gets wrapped up in the Cobra Clutch.  Sprinkle some USA chants over this and I'm about done.

Winner: Hunico via disqualification

Yes, it's "Blast from the Past" tonight, but this is just another waste of everyone's time.  Hunico is actually solid in the ring - I'd much rather have a good match with him and Tyson Kidd than the crap they were involved in tonight.


A recap of Sheamus and Okerlund's locker room conversation plays.  This is totally unwarranted and more time filler.

Back from a break, Cody Rhodes is out.  He says that tonight has been a waste of time and we should look to the future.  Dusty Rhodes comes out to tell his son that he loves him and that he's a natural, but he needs to stop poking the bear that is Big Show.  Cody says they can talk in the back and Big Show comes out.  He shows a clip from Cody's "Dashing" days to embarrass him.  Dusty's old entrance theme plays and he dances.  I think that all kind of speaks for itself, to be quite honest.  At the least, we got a decent Dusty impression out of Big Show.

Back from another commercial, Daniel Bryan is in the ring.  Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio and we're ready for the main event.

Match 6 - Daniel Bryan and Alberto Del Rio vs Sheamus (World Heavyweight Champion) and "Mean" Gene Okerlund

Howard Finkel introduces Sheamus and Okerlund.  Del Rio opens against Sheamus in what amounts to a handicap match.  Sheamus starts with strikes and a back elbow.  Bryan tags in and lays into Sheamus with kicks.  He follows with more kicks in the corner.  Del Rio tags back in, but Sheamus delivers a back body drop.  Del Rio tags out to Bryan who runs into a forearm from Sheamus.  Del Rio comes into the ring to run interference, but gets tossed out of the ring by Sheamus.  Bryan dropkicks Sheamus out of the ring and Del Rio tags Sheamus with a kick in the head.  Okerlund ends up surrounded by Del Rio, Bryan and Rodriguez, who for some reason is allowed in the ring.  The ref also isn't administering a five count to Del Rio, who shouldn't be in the ring.  Piper's music hits and he and all the legends of the night make their way to the ring.  This distracts Bryan, who turns around into a Brogue Kick for a loss.

Winners: "Mean" Gene Okerlund and Sheamus

The legends surround Ricardo and start handing him right hands, signature spots and a Cobra Clutch.  He eventually gets a Brogue Kick.  The highlight of this clusterfuck, if you have a sharp eye, was Alberto seeing what was about to go down and hopping the barrier, to run away.   Apparently they had a couple minutes of air time left to fill, so Cole climbed in the ring, made a retirement home joke and got punched in the face by Pat Patterson.  That's not a bad way to end the night.

Another throw away show, ever so slightly saved by Bryan in Piper's Pit and Alberto Del Rio being a top notch coward.  I'll be honest - there's not much else to say here.  Nobody made any progress and there was basically nothing of note.  Here's hoping for the next Raw to be better.

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Why use Instagram when you can use Google Plus?

I know I know, 50 million users can’t be wrong, I guess Instagram is pretty popular. Facebook also has $1 Billion worth of faith in them so they must be doing something right. Honestly, post photo editing outside of Photoshop isn't anything that couldn't already be done on mobile phones and PC. In fact, Facebook isn't the first to try photo enhancement and sharing, you can do it on Google Plus.

In March of 2010 Google acquired a similar post processing start up, "Picnik."  Picnik was primarily geared towards pc users as an online alternative to using Photoshop. Google has since integrated it into their Google+ social network as the "Creative Kit" which now allow users to not only upload and share their photos, but easily tweak them with various effects and filters. Here are a few examples...

Hopefully, the recent digital racism between Instagram on iPhone or Android will spark meaningful discussion thus educating people on what art is and what photography can actually be despite hardware price tags or operating systems. Personally, I feel like if you quarrel over the camera you are missing the point; but lets be honest, there will always be stupid people. Maybe if Google+ decides to integrate some of these features into their mobile app they will be able to break up this apparent monopoly and give users more choice. It will at least give them some firepower against Facebook.  Until then, Instagram will remain the hot app for sharing photos and making hipsters feel like talented photographers.

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WWE Raw Wrapup 4/9/12

First off, a big thank you to Eric for covering Wrestlemania 28 and the subsequent Raw and Smackdown.  The night of Wrestlemania I went from what I thought to be the flu into a pneumonia-addled coma and basically slept for 72 hours.  I'm still not feeling quite up to snuff, and to be quite honest, Raw was less than stellar so today will be far less long-winded than usual.

Raw opens with guest a spot for the night's guest hosts:  The Three Stooges.  I thought we were done with this guest host stuff, but it's so hard to hate the Stooges' shtick.  There are a ton of YES signs in the crowd, still showing support for Daniel Bryan.  John Lauranaitis comes out and introduces "the new face of the WWE": Brock Lesnar.  Typical WWE:  Sign a short-term star and shove him down our throats.  Instead of playing this out and storylining us, we're instead shotgunning it like a college party brewski.  Important here and moving forward:  The reaction for Lesnar was less than lukewarm this time.  Last week the crowd went ballistic.  This week, they went out to merch tables.  Cena comes out, slaps the taste out of Lesnar's mouth and gets taken down for his trouble.  Lesnar's first punch catches Cena in the face and he comes up bloodied.  The locker room clears and they pull the men apart multiple times.  Lauranaitis wants Teddy to get him an explanation and Eve wants a meeting with Johnny, who casts her off until next week.

There's a part of me that wants to question why, say, Mark Henry and Alberto Del Rio rushed from the locker room to break up this fight, when it behooves them both to have potential champions or rivals be hurt by one another.  But then I just go "WWE" and keep taking notes.

Match 1 - Brodus Clay and Santino Marella (United States Champion) vs Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger

This was a one segment match stretched into two.  Into break, Swagger takes Brodus down with a chopblock.  Back from break, Ziggler drops his signature jumping elbow on Santino.  Santino continues to be beaten, but makes a tag to Brodus who beats Ziggler with a clothesline, t-bone suplex and splash.

Winners: Brodus Clay and Santino Marella via pinfall

Johnny casts Miz off similar to Eve earlier and Teddy returns with Cena.  Cena wants to hit and he wants to be hit, so Johnny gives Cena Otunga in the main event later tonight.  Santino is looking for the Stooges.  He finds Kane and then powerwalks away.


Match 2 - R-Truth vs Cody Rhodes

Quick offense via Alabama Slam from Rhodes, but Big Show comes out and shows a clip of last week, when he showed a clip of Wrestlemania.  Cody is distracted and turns around into "Little Jimmy" (this is the laziest goddamn finisher name), Truth's jumping Complete Shot and loses.

Winner: R-Truth via pinfall

Short of a full rage, I'll just say that this is accomplishing nothing whatsoever for someone who can, could and should be a future world champion, possibly even this year.

Santino finds the Stooges in a crate, because this is how we move human beings around.  They do some classic shtick with Santino, and as much as I hate guest hosts and time wasting, you just can't hate the Stooges, especially when WWE's own stooge Santino is involved.  I'll give it a pass.

Match 3 - Lord Tensai vs Yoshi Tatsu

Cole tells us that Tatsu challenged Tensai to this match via Twitter because he is not "real Japanese".  Tensai dominated Japan for five years, Tatsu jobbed and fought in dark match battle royals.  Not a strong argument.  Especially when this match amounted to a drawn out squash.  "Albert" chants throughout the match and Tensai delivers a Choke Bomb after screaming "Tensai Ichiban!" in the face of Tatsu, informing him that Tensai is number one.

Winner: Lord Tensai via referee stoppage

Tensai does the same bit as his debut:  He sprays a mist from mouth to hand, then applies a face claw, causing his defeated opponent to scream in pain.  How the hell does he spray something that burns this much from his mouth?!  Tensai is barely getting a reaction, but it will be hard to gauge a proper reaction until he wrestles someone the crowd gives a damn about.

Replay of last week with Chris Jericho shattering an alcohol bottle over the head of CM Punk.

Match 4 - Mark Henry vs CM Punk (c), WWE Championship Match

Punk makes a beeline for the ring, grabs the mic and says that straight edge is a personal choice and a way of life.  His reasons are his own, but Jericho has made it all public.  Henry enters.  Punk attacks out of the gate with rapid strikes, but eats a big Henry clothesline.  The fight spills outside and Punk clonks Henry with one of the announcer's monitors.  Now I understand that he's mad and why he's mad.  But he's still supposed to be a fighting champion, so this was a less than stellar way to end the match.

Winner: Mark Henry via disqualification

Back in the ring, Henry lands a World's Strongest Slam.Jericho comes out, beers in hand and Henry hits another World's Strongest Slam.  Punk tries to fight Jericho, but eats a Codebreaker.  Jericho gives Punk a beer bath and he fights up to his feet, only to take another Codebreaker.  This all points to a rematch at Extreme Rules in Chicago.


Match 5 - Zack Ryder vs Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio opens with very strong strikes and a dropkick for two.  Ryder throws up his knees in the corner and lands a Broski Boot and sets up for the Rough Ryder.  Alberto counters the Rough Ryder, tossing Ryder up and over headfirst into the turnbuckle, then locks in the Cross Armbreaker.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio via submission

At least Ryder is still on TV, I guess.  Del Rio does need to come back looking strong, so you can't argue with the choices made here.


The Stooges are on their way to the ring, and back from commercial, Moe and Larry are in the ring.  The crowd isn't happy about this, and they vocally let the guys in the ring know.  Will Sasso as Curly comes out as Hulk Hogan, theme and everything.  This still doesn't have the crowd happy, as Sasso/Curly cuts a promo.  Kane comes out, sets off his pyro which sends two of the Stooges running and Sasso takes a chokeslam.  This company does not know their audience worth a damn: There wasn't enough Stooge shtick to give this one a pass.

Next week, due to a DQ and count out win over Henry for two weeks running, Punk will defend against Mark Henry in a no disqualification match.

Truth time:  From about this point until the end of the show, I admittedly conked out, which I will chalk up to 50% pneumonia coma and 50% boring as hell Raw.  What I can tell you is Lesnar cut a promo in the back, which is a poor choice.  This guy should be a silent killer, especially with him being back such a short time, and he's been running his mouth all night.

Match 6 - John Cena vs David Otunga

Slept right through this one (see above mathematics), but Cena won with an Attitude Adjustment and STF.

Winner: John Cena via submission

Lesnar rolls out from under the ring and gives Cena a low blow kick from behind and delivers the F5.

That's it.  That's the end of the show.  Open and close with Lesnar, barely anything worth a damn in the middle of the show.  Lesnar's returns are already diminishing, as the crowd had a very "meh" reaction tonight to him each time he was shown.  The occasional 'just there' Raw isn't the end of the world, but here's the problem with it being tonight:  It's been a week since Wrestlemania.  If any show should set the tone for the coming year, it was this one.  And if we have to take inventory of the coming from year from tonight here's how it looks:  The WWE title barely means anything, as does anyone not named John Cena, John Lauranaitis or Brock Lesnar.  It's a gloomy forecast.

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