5:59 PM
Steve Berkman
WWE seems to have given up on the countdown to Wrestlemania (although, I’m currently taking bets on how many times they remind it’s in 6 and 2 days on the last Raw and Smackdown respectively), but I have not! Sixteen days, just over two weeks until the biggest show of year. The time to elevate new talent and revive returning talent. And on that note, Smackdown starts with the return of Christian and the Peep Show.
Christian receives a warm reaction, especially for someone we saw as a whiny heel a short time ago. Christian mentions the General Manager 12-man tag match and then introduces John Lauranaitis, who walks the ramp doing his best politician wave. Mr. Excitement and Captain Charisma share the ring before Teddy Long makes his entrance. In the interim, the announcers fill us in on the fact that R-Truth joined Team Teddy Long via Twitter. Such a tiny announcement for someone who gets as much of a reaction as Truth does.
Christian, being the fair man that he is, tells both GM’s that he’s a free agent for ‘Mania and they can each make their case to recruit him. Long makes no effort and Johnny showers Christian with praise, so another heel joins the fold of Team John Lauranaitis. Teddy Long, not to be outdone, announces that Kofi Kingston has joined his team and announces that Kofi will face David Otunga next. Santino escorts Kofi out to the ring and is desperately frightened by Kofi’s pyro. Always good for a chuckle, that Santino.
Christian, being the fair man that he is, tells both GM’s that he’s a free agent for ‘Mania and they can each make their case to recruit him. Long makes no effort and Johnny showers Christian with praise, so another heel joins the fold of Team John Lauranaitis. Teddy Long, not to be outdone, announces that Kofi Kingston has joined his team and announces that Kofi will face David Otunga next. Santino escorts Kofi out to the ring and is desperately frightened by Kofi’s pyro. Always good for a chuckle, that Santino.
Match 1 – Kofi Kingston vs David Otunga
Kofi begins to fight back on Otunga with a kick, but runs into a powerslam and clotheslines in opposite corners. Kofi hits a signature springboard crossbody for two and follows with signature chops and a dropkick. Kofi sets up for the Boomdrop, but Christian hooks his leg to trip him. Kofi eats a huge lariat from Otunga and both men are down in the ring.
Long tells the ref what Christian did and the ref ejects him. Shouldn’t that have just been a DQ? The GM’s get into it on the floor for what seems like the tenth week in a row and Otunga uses the distraction to ready his belt as a weapon. Santino hops onto the apron and stops him, only to take a punch for his efforts. Otunga turns around into the Trouble in Paradise and it’s good for a three count.
Winner: Kofi Kingston via pinfall
The focus quickly shifts to the back, which is fine, considering I think everyone is tired of the GM’s antics at this point. We see the World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan waiting outside a locker room for AJ to emerge. Bryan explains to her that the dress he bought her looked better on the mannequin, but he arranged a match for her tonight, which could lead to a title shot, so she better get ready. I get the ego-driven jerk boyfriend angle, but I don’t quite understand the cruelty Bryan has shown lately. My early prediction: AJ escorts Bryan to the ring at ‘Mania, he jaws with her during the match, he gets slapped and walks into a Brough Kick.
Match 2 – Nikki Bella (w/Brie Bella) vs AJ
After the ladies make their entrance (The Bellas always seem to get their full entrance), Bryan enters separately to stand in AJ’s corner. As he makes his entrance, for the match he arranged just for AJ, you can see a bit of exasperation on AJ’s face. The ability to show an emotion puts her a few steps above most of the divas already. Nikki gets on her knees to mock –fight AJ, and she eats a front dropkick in the mush for it. Nikki takes over and settles into a submission hold in the middle of the ring, drawing some screams of pain from AJ and words of “encouragement” from Bryan at ringside.
AJ fights out and lands a spin kick to the head of Nikki and follows with a top rope crossbody. The Bellas attempt some twin magic, but are caught by Bryan, who brings it to the attention of the ref. While the ref is distracted, Brie yanks AJ down to the mat by her hair and Nikki lifts her for a pendulum backbreaker or side slam, but AJ flips up and around, landing in a schoolgirl for the pin.
Winner: AJ via pinfall
Bryan celebrates as if he picked up the win, which we all expect from him at this point, drawing a bit more ire from his girlfriend. The commentary in this match needs mentioning – it was absolutely atrocious. Throughout the match, Booker T complains that Bryan said this would lead to a Divas title shot and who is he to make that decree? Thing is, Bryan said this “could” lead her towards a Divas title shot, so Booker has his feathers ruffled for no reason.
Also, Booker pointed out that with the flip over and roll through, this wasn’t a “real” win for AJ. So that’s the assessment from the former wrestler turned commentator, ladies and gents: Rollups don’t count. It’s a shame, really; that means that half of the wins in WWE, TNA and ROH don’t count for shit. Thanks for more quality noise pollution, Booker.
Also, Booker pointed out that with the flip over and roll through, this wasn’t a “real” win for AJ. So that’s the assessment from the former wrestler turned commentator, ladies and gents: Rollups don’t count. It’s a shame, really; that means that half of the wins in WWE, TNA and ROH don’t count for shit. Thanks for more quality noise pollution, Booker.
We follow the divas match with a Raw Rebound to Monday’s Rock concert.
Returning to the show, we see Cody Rhodes in the back, and he is asked how he plans to defend against and defeat someone the size of Big Show. Cody explains that while Show is a dominating monster all year, he faces him on the one day of the year where he falters: Wrestlemania. “How will I defeat a giant? Just watch.”
Match 3 – The Great Kahli vs Cody Rhodes (Intercontinental Champion); non-title match
Rhodes opens with an attempted boot to the gut, which Kahli effortlessly catches and uses to toss Rhodes back. Rhodes chops Kahli’s chest, but Kahli ignores it and takes over. Rhodes hits the ropes, but runs into a big overhead right. Rhodes answers with dropkicks to the knee of Kahli. Once down to one knee, Rhodes tries to lock an armbar on Kahli, but he powers out.
Rhodes takes Kahli down again and drops elbows on the knee and locks the leg. Khali clubs his way out of the hold and Cody heads up top. Cody takes to the skies, but jumps into a big chest chop, followed by clotheslines. Cody ends up on the apron, and this affords him the chance to drop Kahli throat first across the top rope, followed by a kick to the head, a quick hop into the ring and a second rope missile dropkick to the knee. While Kahli struggles to get to his feet, Cody lands the Beautiful Disaster kick for a clean win.
Rhodes takes Kahli down again and drops elbows on the knee and locks the leg. Khali clubs his way out of the hold and Cody heads up top. Cody takes to the skies, but jumps into a big chest chop, followed by clotheslines. Cody ends up on the apron, and this affords him the chance to drop Kahli throat first across the top rope, followed by a kick to the head, a quick hop into the ring and a second rope missile dropkick to the knee. While Kahli struggles to get to his feet, Cody lands the Beautiful Disaster kick for a clean win.
Winner: Cody Rhodes via pinfall
I would like to point out that I’m thrilled to see Cody Rhodes get a clean win over Kahli. No bullshit, no shenanigans – he knocked the man down and kicked his head off. Of course, going by the laws of professional wrestling, this sets him up to lose to Big Show, but I have a hard time believing they put the IC title on Big Show at this point, considering how well Rhodes has done with it.
Randy Orton is heading out to the ring. Randy reminds us that his name is indeed Randy Orton. Orton tells us that he doesn’t usually talk about his problems; he hunts them down. Lately he feels that he is the hunted – hunted by Kane. Orton is fine with a fight, he just wants to know why. Unlike Cena, he embraces hate, and hate embraces him. He calls Kane out to explain the last couple of weeks. Kane enters to pyro and music, but stops on the stage.
Kane’s explanation is that last summer, Orton defeated him in a street fight. After the match, Kane offered a hand shake and Orton obliged. Kane felt at his lowest at this point; his most human. Kane has now shed his humanity and feels WWE isn’t big enough for both of them.
Kane wants closure, and he wants to get it by decimating Orton. Orton invites him to the ring, but Kane says he wants to do it at Wrestlemania. So long and short, Kane wants to destroy Randy Orton, but wants to do it with a big audience. Ok, that makes wrestling sense. ‘Mania it is.
Kane’s explanation is that last summer, Orton defeated him in a street fight. After the match, Kane offered a hand shake and Orton obliged. Kane felt at his lowest at this point; his most human. Kane has now shed his humanity and feels WWE isn’t big enough for both of them.
Kane wants closure, and he wants to get it by decimating Orton. Orton invites him to the ring, but Kane says he wants to do it at Wrestlemania. So long and short, Kane wants to destroy Randy Orton, but wants to do it with a big audience. Ok, that makes wrestling sense. ‘Mania it is.
The same “hire David Otunga via Twitter” spot airs from Raw. What’s scary is some people will probably actually do this for legal counsel.
Drew McIntyre makes a full entrance into the ring and is greeted with Teddy Long on the Titantron. Teddy welcomes Drew back…with a match against Big Show.
Match 4 – Drew McIntyre vs Big Show
Show forces Drew into the corner with body shots. Drew takes a big slap to the chest and a pair of scoop
slams, but answers back with a boot to the face and a chop block. McIntyre looks to wrap Show up for the Future Shock, but Show pushes him off and delivers a spear, a chokeslam and the Weapon of Mass Destruction. Drew is out cold and the referee stops the match
Winner: Big Show via referee stoppage
This sets up Show to look like a major threat to Cody heading into Wrestlemania - he doesn’t even have to defeat the man, he’ll just knock him out. Also a nice touch that Drew won his ‘welcome back’ match against Hornswoggle via referee stoppage. Drew barely pulled any offense against Big Show, but Cody Rhodes, who is 4 inches shorter and probably 30-40 pounds lighter beat Khali clean. Makes you wonder why D Mac has that big money contract in the first place…
Match 5 – Mark Henry vs Yoshi Tatsu
Tatsu opens with a dropkick, kicks and chops, all of which have no effect. Henry headbutts Tatsu down and screams at him to get up, as he picks him up. Henry delivers a Bulldog-style running powerslam and the World’s Strongest Slam for the three.
Winner: Mark Henry via pinfall
Nice to see Yoshi on TV, I guess; better than Henry squashing a ‘Mania participant and making someone look weak going into their big match. Every wrestling program can get away with a squash match – couple signature spots and a big slam to make the crowd happy. Two right in a row seems a bit lazy.
We see a clip of Zack Ryder’s Z! True Long Island Story, asking Teddy Long to be on his Wrestlemania team. Ryder has also organized a “Ryder Riot” for the Raw to follow. Doesn’t say much for him if he has to beg this much to get on the team; he was the assistant to the SD GM for a while there, after all.
Match 6 – Chris Jericho vs Sheamus
The number one contenders to the top titles face off. Sheamus overpowers Jericho out of the initial tie up. Important to point out that this has a foundation other than “the two number one contenders”; these were the final two participants in this year’s Royal Rumble. Sheamus runs Jericho over with a shoulder block and Jericho bails to the outside. Sheamus follows and jettisons himself over the top rope for a shoulder block as Jericho comes off the ropes, back in the ring.
Jericho starts to come back but misses a dive into the corner and rolls out, ending up on the apron to take Sheamus’ rope-tied forearms to the chest, which Booker T dubs “Musical Chairs”. Even his broadcast colleagues had nothing to say to this. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all, I guess. Following the forearms, Sheamus lifts Jericho into a stalling suplex. Sheamus rushes Jericho, but he forces Sheamus to the outside. Heading into the break, Daniel Bryan and AJ approach ringside.
Back from the break, Jericho is in charge and lifts Sheamus for a belly to back for a one count. Again, Jericho seems to be the only person in WWE using this suplex as an offensive move and not just a counter at this point. Sheamus fights back from his knees, but Jericho cuts him off with a front dropkick to keep control. Sheamus starts his comeback and counters Jericho’s one handed bulldog into the corner. Sheamus lands axe handles and a clothesline in the corner, leading to the usual powerslam, but Jericho slips out and hits the ropes. Unfortunately, he runs right into the Irish Curse backbreaker.
After a reset, Sheamus catches Jericho on his shoulder for what looked like another powerslam attempt, but Jericho was in an awkward position, so Sheamus puts him in a fireman’s carry and does a roll through slam. That’s the second time this week Sheamus called a good audible mid-match; good for him.
Jericho goes for the Codebreaker, but Sheamus puts him in the corner and attempts a Brough kick, getting his leg stuck on the top rope in the process. Jericho hits a triangle jump dropkick and the Lionsault for two. Sheamus fights out of the seated corner position he finds himself in, reaches up to the top rope and flips himself up to the top, but Jericho crotches him. Chops to Sheamus while he is seated up top, but Sheamus fights out with strikes and lands a flying shoulder block for two. Sheamus calls for the Celtic Cross, but Jericho counters into the Walls of Jericho.
Sheamus reaches the ropes and tries for the Celtic Cross again, but Jericho wriggles out and gets clotheslined over the top rope. Sheamus follows and throws Jericho at Bryan and AJ. They move out of the way – to note here, Bryan got himself a nice comfy chair, while AJ stood behind him. He’s got the ‘dick heel’ down to a science. Sheamus is knocked off the apron by Jericho and while Jericho ties up the ref’s attention, Bryan sneaks in a low dropkick to the head. Thanks to this, Sheamus gets counted out.
Winner: Chris Jericho via countout
Sheamus is less than thrilled with the result and the circumstances and goes after Bryan, who hightails it up the ramp, AJ at the rear. Again, minimal concern for her well being. Sheamus is visibly irate and delivers a Brough Kick to Jericho in the ring to vent.
A lot of advancement of the GM storyline, with multiple additions to the two teams announced and facing one another. If they continue down the path of AJ getting matches, perhaps she will get a slow build toward a divas title match. If you saw any of her in FCW, she really plays the ‘bitch heel’ very well and is solid in the ring. They have two options aside from the usual “do nothing”: She finally gets frustrated with Bryan and turns on him, somehow costing him the title, or she turns heel to match him and helps him retain in some fashion.
She has a good array of kicks to compliment Bryan’s, and it would be a nice change of pace, given that everyone expects Sheamus to beat Bryan (most expecting this to open the show). Cody Rhodes and Big Show were both shown to be strong competitors, which is a better lead in than your typical “one guy sucks for three weeks but overcomes and wins at the PPV” scenario.
I still predict Cody somehow leaving ‘Mania with the IC title. Jericho got a cheap heel win, but Sheamus looked very strong in the match. And of course we got a silly explanation for Orton/Kane – by wrestling standards, it’s good enough, but I predict some kind of stipulation added to the match before April 1st arrives. With Kane talking about closure, perhaps a loser leaves town type of match?
She has a good array of kicks to compliment Bryan’s, and it would be a nice change of pace, given that everyone expects Sheamus to beat Bryan (most expecting this to open the show). Cody Rhodes and Big Show were both shown to be strong competitors, which is a better lead in than your typical “one guy sucks for three weeks but overcomes and wins at the PPV” scenario.
I still predict Cody somehow leaving ‘Mania with the IC title. Jericho got a cheap heel win, but Sheamus looked very strong in the match. And of course we got a silly explanation for Orton/Kane – by wrestling standards, it’s good enough, but I predict some kind of stipulation added to the match before April 1st arrives. With Kane talking about closure, perhaps a loser leaves town type of match?
Coming up will be next week’s Raw and a look into the Geek Asylum’s Wrestlemania predictions. How much will we be in line with one another, and more importantly with the show? We shall see.
1 comments:
The Man Called Steve
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